The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Syrupleaf

by Various

Part 84: Sirocco: Update 19

Sirocco's Year: Part Nineteen

We readied ourselves for the attack. Firos, for some unknown reason, did not go to the agreed position and instead went to a small outcrop of rock just south of the watchtower. We called to her countless times but she just ignored us, staring into the middle distance, practising hammerstrikes against the air with her baby, TremendousMajestic.

I think she's upset about something.

tehsid tapped me on the shoulder. 'Sirocco, are you sure you ordered the right levers pulled?'


'I just,' tehsid said. 'Have the tiniest little hunch that you've FUCKED IT ALL UP YOU FUCKING MORON!'

'Oh man, ha ha ha, I think you're right!'


I raised my hammer. 'Chaaaaaaarge!!!'

The original plan had been to force the spawn across the main bridge where we could easily flank them from both sides with support from the archers. But, seriously, journal, it was a mistake ANY half-wit could have made! All those levers look so similar! Some hurried orders were given to correct the situation.

In the midst of all the madness, Spermy Smurf's voice suddenly piped up:


For a second everyone froze, both dwarf and spawn watched in a shared horror as the bridge raised.

'Ah, ha ha ha... double whoopsies.'

The situation had gone from awful to catastrophic. The bridge had kept all of the spawn but one out of the gatehouse but it had also left three dwarves on the wrong side: Spermy Smurf, Syntax!... and me.

'OH SHIT WE'RE GONNA DIE,' Spermy screeched as the abominations closed in around us.

'I'm really sorry guys,' I said, bringing my hammer down on the skull of an oncoming Spawn. 'I'll buy you all lunch tomorrow. My treat.'

The three of us had our backs to each other in a sort of triangly-type distribution. We circled warily as the Spawn snorted and shrieked at us, occasionally jabbing a claw towards us to try and spook us into dropping our guard.

'Oh FUCK THIS,' Spermy yelled. 'SYRUPLEAAAAAAAF!!!' We all joined the battlecry and charged.