Part 83: Convoy
The UCS have discovered the route a cargo convoy will be taking. This convoy is carrying materials from Earth earmarked for something called Project Sunlight. I have no idea what's in it, but the Council has said the safety of this convoy is of utmost importance.
We have 300 seconds before the convoy starts moving to scout ahead, find the UCS mines and cordon them off.
The convoy ultimately needs to arrive at this base. As you can see, our only build options are laser walls and the upgraded mine.
There's a mine field just north of our final destination. These mines are not the same kind that a minelayer puts down. These are much more serious, and despite our anti-gravity propulsion, we can still trigger them by passing over.
I have no clue what's out there, and our briefing said the drivers aren't the sharpest. Let's see if we can stop them from leaving. That will give us enough time to scout the route and make sure it's safe.
Like I said, the changes to the LC's power range make it impossible to actually connect the laser walls. But not to worry, I've got an alternate plan.
Namely, building a fuck-off huge number of laser walls. Like that. It's not as high tech, but it should get the job done.
Now, let's see where all these mines are. Given the UCS's general incompetence so far I'm guessing they'll just be randomly placed all over the map in illogical places.
Research: Shield Recharger
Okay, we can't take the quickest path to the base. I kind of expected this; it's a very narrow path and seems absolutely perfect for blocking. No worries though, I'm sure there are other paths. Let's keep moving.
Strike two. This path also seems kind of easy to block. But hey, they can't have enough mines to just throw them down in the middle, right?
Okay, now this is annoying. You're telling me that not only do I have to block off those two, far simpler paths but I also have to babysit these idiots so they don't run into mines in the middle of the gigantic valley they're in!?
No. Fuck this. I am not dealing with your bullshit.
Good thing we built that wall. Now all the Fat Girls in the convoy are trapped.
I'm not running around the map plopping down hundreds of laser walls though. This is idiotic.
You know what, let's do this a different way.
Step one: Build a Unit Transporter.
Step two: Pick up one of the convoy units.
Step three: Fly over all the mines.
Step four: Place the convoy unit at the doorstep of the base.
Step five: set the Unit Transporter on auto and let it move the convoy for you.
There is no step six. That's it.
Now I'm usually a pretty calm person but let me say one thing here:
LC Command, why the fuck was your plan to drive a convoy through a MINEFIELD when you had this available!? Seriously. Am I the only one in this organization not taking stupid pills? I thought you all loved me for my ingenious use of the Unit Transporter last mission. Were you too awed to think of using the Unit Transporter to, oh I don't know, transport units?
I mean, look at this. The area is clearly unsafe. But the UCS units aren't here. So why wasn't the plan "fly everyone here" in the first place? I mean, I literally just started at this job a few days ago and I've already outsmarted the entire command structure.
Look how safe this is!
See! No danger!
The only risk to us in this mission is if the Unit Transporter pilot suddenly thinks she's on the Butterfingers Brigade.
They're all here. It took, maybe five minutes. What the hell sisters!?
If I take them to base can I assign the pilots to a different job more suited for their intelligence level? Like ditch digger? With no space suit? I know that's not very sisterly but god damn ladies, did you see this last mission?
rest of briefing posted:
Though we haven't quite been able to tell when it was built, we certainly have gained insight into its true purpose.
All the tunnels lead to the same place - Luna's northern pole. They are used to transport energy for an energy cannon. The original alien installation is unusable, but we can rebuild it. We will use our Orbital Defense Ring to put the cannon in place. From this position the cannon will be able to shoot at targets on the Earth. This will be a powerful defense system.
To put our plan into practice, we need need access to the entire tunnel system, plus the raw materials to generate the needed energy. So that's the idea behind "Project Sunlight." I'm in charge of the technical aspects and you're the military expert.
Health and Happiness!
Oh okay, now I'm filled in on all of this Project Sunlight stuff. I'm glad you're putting me in charge of it; you lot would just fuck it all up. I hope your technical knowledge is way better than your tactical knowledge or this thing is gonna blow up Luna. And I would not like that. Luna is very nice.
Behold! The most exciting score screen!
While I've complained mightily about the idiocy of the LC Command and the Celestial Council, they did manage to do one thing right. Now that the war on Earth is turning in our favor, Fang has been sent to the Moon to assist with the defense. Rumors have also indicated he will make a formal plea for asylum and LC citizenship. I'm sure you've all heard tales of General Fang's bravery. He lead our forces to victory at the Battle of Madagascar and I hear he personally killed the hacker NEO in Rio de Janeiro. His actions at Lesotho warned us of the UCS's betrayal and let us prepare defenses here on Luna. Make no mistake, we would never have stood a chance without his assistance.
I hope he's granted the asylum he seeks.
Please listen to the third LC Night theme and imagine our character slamming her head into the wall over and over again as she curses her superiors' stupidity.