Part 23: Update Twenty Three: Boing Ding Zoom!
My Name Is Kaz posted:
And I suppose I should call you an asshole and execute you just because you're alive?
Some day when you die and become a zombie I'll stand up for you, too. And when that happens remember what a bigot you were in life.
I should have known we would have had some zombie sympathizers in this thread!
What the hell is that!?
Last time, on Earthbound, we solved Threed's zombie problem, and beat up a sentient pile of barf we found in an underground tunnel leading out of the city. Today, we're going to hit a new town. Boing!
Welcome to Grapefruit Falls.
Actually, yeah, we kind of do.
I'm so glad this guy doesn't want an explanation. I don't know if he'd believe half the shit we have to tell him.
: Oh, you'd be surprised, but this is good timing for you. I happen to be carrying something to eat.
I buy a Calorie Stick, which restores around 60 HP. I'm not sure what a calorie stick is and a Google search turns up the item itself and something about the calories in a stick of butter.
: just ahead. Go there and take a good rest. I have heard the name of this village is Saturn Valley, but it cannot be found on any map. I enjoy helping those who are in trouble. ...though I charge them for my trouble.
This is kind of a pretty area, I think, even if it's a SNES game. Personally, I think it's kind of a calming walk, if nothing else.
There's some new enemies wandering around here, including that zombie. Yeah, it's a different one already. Well, kind of.
Farm Zombies are Urban Zombies, but with a more rustic color. From what I can see, they are the exact same enemy.
So, use the same strategy you use for the Urban Zombies; bash their brains in.
Armored Frogs are entirely new, however. 202 HP, with a nasty vulnerability to PSI Freeze and PSI Fire. They can hit decently hard, but their defense, true to their name, is monstrous. Nass has trouble breaking 50 damage on them.
There's a very good reason that if there were enough party members so that you could swap them around, Kim wouldn't leave my party. She's a pretty big badass.
Oh, yeah, Susan got solidified by the Li'l Ghost. I should have gone back and gotten the little asshole exorcised.
This was from the Armored Frog. And for the next round, I set everyone to regularly attack.
Yeah, the Armored Frog is very, very tough. Sure, Kim's offense isn't very good, but Susan wouldn't do over 30, I'd wager.
Nass has no trouble dropping the Farm Zombie, as he can hit it hard enough to leave it with around 40 HP.
For the Armored Frog, it's either this or bashing your party in the face.
Doing this to Nass doesn't upset me too much, since his physical might is where a lot of his damage comes from. However, this will cut into Life Up, if I needed to use it.
Frankly, I'm slightly surprised Nass can deal this much damage to the Armored Frog.
We get a nice bit of exp. from these fights.
And a Broken Spray Can. Were I patient enough to do so, I'd have Susan repair it, then sell it for $250. As I am impatient (unless I'm grinding), I just sell the Broken Spray Cans.
You can see we've got a new insect enemy coming up, along with a present box.
Antoids, now in hot Red flavor! With 112 HP, and decent stats, these guys serve about the same purpose as their weaker cousins.
If Nass hadn't been touched by an icy hand, this fight would have ended, come Nass' turn.
But, hey, at least I managed to solidify the Armored Frog.
Susan does have some good offense, but his guns have a higher offense rating than Kim and Nass' weapons, which helps him out a bit.
In addition to this, Red Antoids can also call for help, or use a biting attack, which is their "strong" attack.
Other than that, Kim using PSI Magnet Alpha is about the most interesting thing to happen during this fight. Sure, it only drained 6 PP, but that's enough for a PSI Fire Alpha or a PSI Freeze Alpha. And since Magnet Alpha is free, no matter how much PP is drained, it's always a net gain.
And we get a nice amount of exp. from that fight, too.
After getting this bomb, I gave all the bombs I had to Susan, as I'm more likely to have him use them.
Susan recovers 6 HP, and I get to run around for about 20 seconds. Win-win for everybody!
It's amazing that I can go on a scenic jog through this area. I'm usually fighting more enemies.
Ooh, I see part of a present box!
And now I don't have to use any of my food items or PSI to heal up Susan.
They restore a nice chunk of HP, especially for Kim or Susan. Nass wouldn't benefit as much from this, but in that regard, Nass has a shitload of HP compared to those two.
There's a cave there, but more area to explore to the north. So, north we go.
Seriously, where the hell are all the enemies? I mean, I know they're randomly generated, but hasn't it seemed like I've crossed some large chunks of real estate without any encounters?
Hey, a waterfall. And it looks like there's a little path leading behind it...
But first, we need to get our photo taken.
That ghost is just mugging for the camera.
I wonder how that guy gets around. Hot air balloon?
Well, we definitely get behind the waterfall. You can tell my approximate position by the ghost.
...There's somebody back here, but who is it?
Hey, enemies! And a new one!
The Plain Crocodile has 234 HP, with high offense and good defense. Other than being able to edge closer (which does nothing), all of its attacks are some variant of "hit you really fucking hard".
PSI Freeze Beta is more than sufficient to wipe his ass off the face of the Earth.
Nass and Susan working together can easily wipe out a Farm Zombie.
And Susan gained himself a level!
For this level, he gained +1 offense, +2 defense, +2 speed, +2 IQ, +1 luck and +2 HP.
Oh, hey, more experience!
Not enough to gain anyone a level, but every little bit counts.
Inside of this cave, there's one enemy type and it's a new one.
Violent Roaches are more annoying than threatening; 209 HP, with decent stats. They're fast, but that's about all that's noteworthy about them. Other than a generic physical, they can also solidify a party member or lower someone's offense.
Since Nass and Susan should be able to easily handle this one, I try and snag some more PP for Kim.
I forgot these guys don't have any.
After a few more attacks (Susan just barely left him alive), the Violent Roach goes down.
For a single enemy, he drops a nice bit of exp.
There's just a single side-room in this tunnel.
All it contains is a bottle rocket, which goes directly to Susan.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but there's usually more enemies around here.
There are three rooms in this tunnel, counting the side room.
And except for that one Violent Roach and the Bottle Rocket, there's nothing noteworthy in here.
And now, we have arrived at one of the best places in the game.
Make sure you've clicked that Tindeck link up there; it's well worth it.
This village is entirely populated by these little fellers.
They have an... interesting way of speaking.
Just look at Mr. Saturn over there. Isn't he just adorable?
This house, in addition to having a snazzy couch, is the hotel around here.
And it's absolutely free to stay here. Saturn Village is a wonderful place.
Calling Dad, I find out we're rolling in the dough.
Which is good, as we have some upgrades to purchase in this village. They've got some good shit around.
I considered heading back to Grapefruit Falls to snag Kim her level up, but decided not to.
I don't know if it's the best medical practice to hang out in a trash can, but Dr. Saturn here is a wonderful doctor.
Now, I know that I should have transcribed this, but since I can't get that goofy-ass Mr. Saturn font in a post, you guys just have to deal with extra screenshots when one of these guys are talking. I mean, it just feels wrong to show a Mr. Saturn talking without using that font.
Instantly and for free, Dr. Saturn fixes us up. I love this place.
Yes, why indeed? I'm sure we'll solve this mystery before we're done.
There's a ladder on the wall there, that leads about halfway up. There was a present box at the top of it, too.
This could come in handy, so I'll hold onto it for now. If I need the extra space, I'll just sell it off.
There's a little cave in the wall here, so let's check into that.
A Sudden Guts Pill (in addition to being a cool poster) is a pretty nice item. When taken during battle, it doubles a character's guts for the duration of the battle.
Protractors are fucking useless. But, hey, they sell for $1.
And hey, more free money!
Another little ladder, and more area of Saturn Valley to explore.
If you want to listen to the music for this little area, scroll back up to the Tindeck link for the cave area with the Violent Roaches.
And you're all so cute!
See? See why I love this place? Free shit is everywhere!
A scary guy, you say?
Ah, so that's who is behind the waterfall.
...Are there more piles of sentient puke!?
There's an exit over here; let's see where it takes us.
Oh, well, this was a great use of our time.
A secret base? I'm interested.
Ah, so we have to go beat up whoever is back there. I can dig it.
Or just tell him the password.
Alright, let me write this password down. Gimme a second to find a pen...
And the password is...
What!? We have to just stand there for three fucking minutes? What the shit kind of password is that?
A fucking stupid one, is what!
Well, I have plenty of $380.
Just how..."Secret" is this herb?
Horns of Life are revival items, but Goddamn that is expensive.
Let's roll up this ladder and see what's kickin' up top here.
I love the look of the Mr. Saturn's huts.
This here is the main shop of the Saturn Village; that thing over in the corner is their version of an ATM.
Well, I do have some extra shit to sell off.
God, I hate protractors.
I also sold off my Broken Spray Cans. I think they sold for $124, but I have trouble reading the numbers in Mr. Saturn speech.
Nass and Susan can use Great Charms; I just took this shot this way to show that their windows were flashing. Kim's isn't, as she already has one equipped.
Nass and Kim require Silver Bracelets. Kim could use the extra defense, and Nass is the tankiest of them all.
And we're going to make Kim a prettier girl than she is.
But first, I go and grab some extra cash.
Nass' Silver Bracelet and Great Charm defensive boosts.
And Susan's boost from the Great Charm.
And Kim's boost from the Silver Bracelet and Red Ribbon.
As with the other drugstores, there's another shopkeep here selling general goods.
I buy two. They cost $22 each, and restore around 120 HP. These things are fucking badass for the cost.
According to my calculations, I spend $2,221 in this store. I toss most of my cash back into the ATM, as I'd hate to lose it.
I save my game again, even though I saved it back in the hotel. I'm not sure why.
End Of Update Status Shots
Next time, on Earthbound, we're going to explore the secret base behind Grapefruit Falls. Stay tuned!