Well, I guess I'd better get this shit underway. Let's go chase the little Adam-midget.
...ahahahaha what is wrong with your face dude
: "Could I please have your identification?"
: "You appear to be a species or genus unfamilar to me. Can you tell me your affiliation, bat-wise?"
I'm human. I'm from the species that cut down your forests and ruined your lives.
: "Oh, Forest Heart ['s jewel whatever thing]. Well! If you are an official representative of Forest Heart, I can authorize you to distrubute these approved visas for our refuge centers. Should there be an excess number, you can avail yourself of the remainder."
: "He loves to talk that way. He wants you to pass out the visas. The visa will let you stay in the refuge for a little while. If there's an extra visa, you can have it!"
I was hired by your stupid tree to help save the forest, I'm not your lacky. What's stopping me from just walking past you? Do I still have that axe?
Adam picks up the stack of visas.
Fucking hell. This is wasting MY time.
Those aren't visas. Those are LEAVES.
Okay, time to talk to bats, I guess.
: "Follow proper procedure."
GO TO HELL, TRIANGLE-SNOUT.
: "I was on my usual migration when the fire broke out. The Treetop Motel had burned to the ground. I don't care for these accommodations, but it was the best I could find."
: "I was flyin' along. It was a groove, like my tunes were happenin', you know what I mean?"
: "Um, not really."
: "The tuneage, dude! The M-U-S-I-C. It was majorly off the scale. I mean, it was hot. And then, I like realize, no, man, it's REALLY HOT. A radical forest fire. I'd like to catch up to the sleaze bags who set it."
: "They won't let me through to the refuge without my papers. Where am I supposed to get papers? Everything burned! The stuff I'm catching in this underground stream is gross!"
: "I'm cold! I'm not really a cave dweller, you know. A nice leafy canopy bed, you might say, is what I like."
: "I have to admit I am hungry. It has been many hours since the fire."
: "Er, really?"
: "Do not be so silly, Adam! You know those stories about bats sucking blood from humans are insulting. I would like some juicy mosquitoes or other flying things!"
So we have proven this cave is full of annoying idiots. The other bats - I'm assuming - will never be mentioned again, so I'm not going to bother with their "hurr thanks" replies. Since Pequititito is kind of important to the story, I guess, I'll include hers. Under duress.
: "I think I can wrap this up. Go ahead."
: "I will, but I shall be missing you."
Oh just go fuck already.
: "And yet, I wish to find out the news . What shall I do?"
: "Aw, please, Paquita. No mushy stuff, OK? I'll catch up."
That's right, Blondie. Keep it professional.
I gave the remaining
: "I'm just going to add 'Humanus humongeous' to this. You may pass."
Insert comical picture of that cat saying 'we can't stop here this is bat country' and he's wearing a hat or something
Two seconds later.
: "I SAID - climb through the hole. You humans have TERRIBLE hearing."
Impatient little fuck.
Alrighty what do we have here.
Tell me what the cut of your gib is, hanging bat.
: "How can I listen to you if I'm dizzy? I say, climb up here! Speak to me in the manner of the temple priests who cared for us!"
Adam doesn't have a problem being ANYONE's bitch. Well, except for Slaughter but he's obviously evil.
Also, I don't know why that stone thing over there is glowing. I tried to pick it up earlier but Adam just whined that it was hot.
: "I am Chiropterus Handwig, Guardian of the Temple."
OH SHIT TEMPLE GUARD
I ONLY HAVE HALF A PENDANT OF LIFE
: "I'm searching for the City of Gold."
: "Looking for gold? How typical of a human. I can't be expected to help with THAT."
: "No, no, it's not like that! I'm looking for a seedling for Forest Heart. She's dying and another must be found. I must help her!"
I'm pretty sure she's dead now, dude. Didn't they burn her to the ground anyways? ...I don't really remember.
: "That is dark news indeed! Perhaps the time has come for the Creatures of the Night to part with the secret. Long have we known the way to the City of Gold. However, such a secret must be earned. If you dare to face danger, pick up the truth stone."
Apparently it's not too hot anymore.
: "Good, good. Hmm. now I must remember what's next! My great great great grandmother often saw the Temple Priest call forth the Black Jaguar. It has become more difficult to do. Men have hunted him and he doesn't come here happily now. Place the stone in his statue and perhaps he will answer."
It doesn't work.