Hi, everyone! Long, long ago in the year 2002, I bought a game from Best Buy. I don't remember why I wanted it, or where I heard of it, but I bought a guide with it, too! I played it some, and ultimately I got bored of it and played my PS2 or something. Idunno. I've grown since then, goons, and the game and its expansions have been sitting on my shelf, mocking me.
Well, to be honest, I've been on an Oblivion kick lately, and it's been quite fun, but I can't get that widely-held opinion out of my head:
Morrowind's so much better, you guys!
Okay, so what are your qualifications?
Pretty much none! I have some vague memories of Seyda Neen and Balmora from when I played the game nine years ago, but I'll mostly be doing this blind
YOU CAN'T PLAY THIS GAME BLIND WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
Relax. This is a pretty well-known game, and by all accounts it's way too easy to plow your way through it by know sing where the best equipment in the game is stashed, stuff like that. I feel like I'm pretty competent, so I'll be exploring and playing the game legitimately! Fun for all!
Wait, so what's with the 'mostly' in the thread title?
Well, I have some memories of the game, so I can't honestly call it a blind run. And I'm going to wind up using a few guides to check racial stats, and maybe a few trainer locations, because let's face it, nobody wants a delayed update because I couldn't find some trainer or another to show off maximum acrobatics skill or some tomfoolery like that.
HEY I KNOW WHERE YOU CAN FIND THE GREATAXE OF ANAL RENDING IT'S JUST SOUTH OF-
Please don't tell me outright where the really broken stuff is. That kinda goes against the general thing I'm striving for here. However, if there's something in a specific area I missed, please feel free to post something to the effect of 'Hey man, you should give that pond just east of Canterbury another look.' I really want to keep this thread as spoiler-free as possible.
Anyway, let's do this thing!
We wake up on a ship after a particularly rough dream. Jiub was worried about us!
This has been my go-to name since NieR, and I won't change it no matter how hard you vote.
The guard comes by, and he leads us up. I guess we'll be free to go now!
This is Seyda Neen. Looks like a nice enough place to start an adventure, don't you think?
Let's just go in here...
Old Mr. Ergallus is waiting for us! He can't see too well, and needs us to verify our race. And that's where you come in, goons! You're going to decide who Heinrich is.
HEALTH is health. If it runs out, we die.
MAGICKA is our mana pool. Again, self-explanatory.
FATIGUE is needed for all sorts of physical activities, from running and jumping to attacking. We can technically attack with 0 Fatigue, but it'd be at reduced strength. Unlike Health and Magicka, it regenerates over time.
AGILITY affects our chances to evade incoming blows and land our own, and contributes to our maximum Fatigue.
ENDURANCE affects our starting health, how much health we gain when we level up, and our maximum Fatigue.
INTELLIGENCE determines our maximum magicka.
LUCK isn't really anything special. It increases the chances of finding quality loot in containers, but it's really hard to raise.
PERSONALITY affects our people skills. We'll be doing more fighting than talking in this game, so I have a bit of a dim view of this stat.
SPEED determines how fast we can move, simple as that.
STRENGTH affects our starting health, maximum carry weight, fatigue, and melee damage output.
WILLPOWER affects our chance to resist spells and our maximum fatigue. It governs the skills of alteration, destruction, mysticism and restoration.
All races have the same luck stat, as well as a disposition bonus when dealing with members of their own race.
ARGONIANS are a lizard people with decent(40) strength and intelligence, great(50) agility and speed, and poor(30) everything else. They start with skill bonuses in alchemy, athletics, illusion, medium armor, mysticism, spear, and unarmored. They're immune to poisons, pretty damn resistant to disease, and can cast a spell of two-minute water breathing once per day. Unfortunately, their feet and faces are all gnarly, so they can't wear boots or closed-face helms. Suited for stealth, and possibly a smidgeon of magic.
BRETONS are scrawny little white guys with decent strength and personality, great intelligence and willpower, and poor everything else. They get skill bonuses to alchemy, alteration, conjuration, illusion, myticism, and restoration. Bretons get more magicka out of their intelligence. They also have a 50% chance to resist spells, and a once-per-day shield spell that will halve all damage for 60 seconds. Great if we plan to use a lot of magic!
DARK ELVES are gray folks with red eyes, like our pal Jiub! These guys have a pretty good spread with decent strength, intelligence, agility and endurance, great speed, and poor everything else. They get skill bonuses to athletics, destruction, light armor, marksman, mysticism, and both flavors of blade. They're very resistant to fire, and get a once-a-day spell to increase evasion chance for 60 seconds. Rather balanced over all.
HIGH ELVES have poor strength and speed, great intelligence and decent everything else. Their natural aptitudes include alchemy, alteration, conjuration, destruction, enchanting and illusion. They benefit from disease resistance and an even greater magicka boost than Bretons, but a weakness to all elements. They make extremely effective mages, but, well, I think you can see the drawbacks.
IMPERIALS are humans that have united a good chunk of the world with the magic of manifest destiny. They've got great personality, poor willpower and agility, and are pretty average otherwise. They get bonuses to blunt weapons, long blades, hand-to-hand combat, light armor, mercantile, and speechcraft. They can absorb a shitload of fatigue from their enemies once per day, and make someone instantly warm up to them once per day. Kinda general with a leaning towards melee combat.
KHAJIIT are goddamn furry cat-people. They have exceptional agility, poor intelligence and endurance, and average everything else. They get bonuses to acrobatics, athletics, hand-to-hand combat, light armor, security, short blades, and sneaking. They can use a night vision of sorts any time they please, and can force a humanoid to run the fuck away once per day. Their feet and faces are just as messed up as the Argonians', so no footwear or closed helms for them. Good for stealth and not much else.
NORDS are basically vikings. They've got great strength and endurance, average willpower and speed, and just kinda suck with their other attributes. They get skill bonuses to axes, blunt weaponry, medium and heavy armors, long blades, and spears. They're immune to frost damage and resistant to shock, and can cast both a decent low-level frost spell and a shielding spell once per day. Great if we wanna beat shit up!
ORCS are pretty close to Nords on the stat table. They've got a little less strength, a bit more willpower, and a bit less agility and speed. They gain bonuses to armorer, axe, block, and heavy and medium armors. They have a bit of spell resistance, and they can hulk the fuck out once a day for 60 seconds to get some extra melee damage output. A different flavor of brute!
REDGUARDS are the hardy, dark-skinned denizens of Hammerfell. Their strength and endurance is pretty great, and their agility and speed are average, but they're sadly lacking in their magical stats. They get skill bonuses to athletics, axes, blunt weaponry, both flavors of blade, and heavy and medium armors. They have damn good disease and poison resistance, and can buff their combat-related attributes for a full minute once per day. Good for combat, and possibly branching out into some stealth elements.
WOOD ELVES are short forest folk with poor strength, willpower and endurance, average intelligence and personality, and exceptional agility and speed. They have skill bonuses to marksmanship, sneaking, light armor, alchemy, and acrobatics. They can force low-level animals to help them in combat once per day, and have decent disease resistance. They're pretty much based stealth/ranged combat, and I hate them.
Cast your votes, goons, and I'll see you tomorrow!
Table of Contents
- The Wizard Lizard Cometh
- Adventures in Spelunking
- YGS - Your Grotto Sucks
- Balmora Ho!
- Magic, Mixology, and Mycological Monotony
- Diary of a Lizard Wizard: A Substitute Update by Chaz GELF
- Wherein Wizard Lizard gets tired of Mages' Guild quests for a while
- Gnaked Gnords and Gneedless Gnorthward Detours
- To Gnaar Mok and Back
- Slaves to Molag Bal II: Dwarf Fortress
- Micro-Update: Welp.
- Wander Lizard Mage Mage!
- Scamps Gone Wild!
- Lizard Wizard and the Best Day Ever
- Duties Interruptus
- Lizard Wizard Does Vivec
- Things Get a Little Crazy
- Shit Let's Be Jesus
- Micro-Update: SOOOOOUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL.
- Of Corprus and ADD
- Seriously, fuck goblins.
- And then I saw everything.
- What? More Distractions?
- Wait, Wait, Don't Tel Me
- Lizard Wizard, Chief of Staff
- Lizard Wizard II - Wizard Harder
- Chores of a Wizard Lizard
- Solstheim is Awesome.
- Solstheim got caves, man.
- Wherein we carry out tasks to do with Raven Rock
- Lizard Wizard gets Stoned
- Wizard Lizard does the Raven Rock quests. ALL of them.
- Of Skaal and Stahl
- Werewolf? Okay. Werewolf.
- Bye, Bye Bloodmoon
- Christmas Wizard, Ho Ho!
- Back to the main game!
- Two Dungeons, One Cup
- Wherein Lizard Wizard continues to be bad at following directions, but does some quests anyway
- This is a democracy, not a Hortatorship!
- Go, Lizard Wizard, Go!
YE OLDE FANART SECTIONEAs the name suggests, any and all thread fanart will be magnet'd to this proverbial fridge for everyone to see.
Egadsman drew an alternate version of Lizard Wizard from the shirtless universe.