Part 60: The Elder Updates LIX - MS Sleep DeprivationMS Sleep Deprivation
So yeah, that stuff I said about re-recording Fighter's Guild quests? Fuck all that noise. I'm just gonna draw it from memory. As it turns out, however, I'm not the greatest at MS Paint art, so this is gonna be a short one.
But before that, I'm gonna follow up on that rumor I heard ages ago. Y'know, the one about the all-female gang targeting men? We were pointed in the direction of Gogan, who I had assumed was an orc from the name.
Basically, Gogan was seduced by some ladies down at the local inn, went to their farmhouse outside of town for some action, and after they got him in the nude, they robbed him at swordpoint and sent him running home in his birthday suit. More than anything, though, he wants us to recover his wedding ring due to the fact that it's a family heirloom. Because, y'know, the writers need to justify this man's desire to get his wedding ring back.
Rather than going directly to said farmhouse and finding where the ring is stashed, we have to go and get seduced at the inn so we can raid the place.
The innkeeper confirms that, yes, he has seen shady dames around seducing the pants off of his clientele, and that they drop by now and again to do so. I don't honestly remember what he looked like, so I decided to render him innkeeper as a dude who you can easily tell is a bartender-type person. I deeply apologize if this takes you out of the lore.
So, of course, we have to wait hour by hour until one of these foul succubandits shows up. And eventually...
...we receive an invitation to the whore-thief's den of lies. 11 o clock, she says.
Well, no sense letting that waiting image go to waste!
The appointed time approaches, and we make our way to the farmhouse.
At around this time, I went into an Oblivion gate. Or I may have done it well before all the waiting. Or I may have done it during one of the two quests after this. Hell, I may not have even done this quest first, it's all kind of blurred together by this point. Rest assured that, whenever it happened, it resulted in me rubbing a rad elemental damage enchant all over my best sword.
After refusing to literally empty my inventory, they pull their weapons on me. How's Sterv gonna get out of this one?
And then Gogan shows up. TUrns out he was an undercover guard the whole time, including when he got robbed! This kind of makes the quest make even LESS sense, but I'm far, far too sleep-deprived to articulate all of my problems with this quest thus far. Please feel free to discuss that amongst yourselves instead of dwelling on this, the worst possible drawing of an Anvil guard.
For our efforts, We get a paltry 400 gold from this quest as well as a stupid dagger that we just sell for fat stacks because pure damage far outstrips any other weapon enchantment in terms of viability.
Now it's off to the Fighter's Guild, but for real this time.
Do I feel like drawing the interior of the Fighter's Guild? The answer is clearly no. We are sent to deal with a rat problem.
OH SHIT SON. STRICTLY SPEAKING THIS IS A RAT PROBLEM BUT NOT THE KIND YOU WERE EXPECTING. I, BETHESDA GAMES, AM THE GREATEST.
So it's down into her basement and oh no, there's a lion attacking those rats! Not pictured because of effort: a conspicious hole in her basement wall that could conceivably lead outside.
Mountain Lions ain't shit.
This dunmer lady is not satisfied that the threat is gone, and asks us to consult a hunter to see where the hell lions might be coming from.
The hunter takes us, very slowly, to a cluster of lions that are behind some bushes or some shit, and we give them a sound drubbing. They're not native to the area, so disposing of this little group should do the trick!
Except no, it doesn't, because there's another lion in that there basement. After we murder it, the dunmer has an insight - her Argonian neighbor, Quill-Weave, fucking hates rats and is behind all of this probably, so we need to stalk her!
There she is! Is she-
She is guilty as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But she talks us into lying to the rat lady for an acrobatics skill point. I take her up on it because even though she's a horrible person for doing the things she's doing, the alternative is a point in speechcraft, and fuck a speechcraft. We also get gold and some fucking title from the Fighters Guild.
Now, our next quest would've been to stay overnight in some dude's shop, intercept some serial burglars and report back to the shopkeeper, but as it so happens, my game crashed when I tried to exit the shop after killing said thieves.
Trying to google the issue only turned up a post on some obscure message board about how some dude's Oblivion crashed AT ANY TIME THE SUN WAS OUT after finishing said quest. I managed to console command it completion without any issues, but I feel I should stress that at least one person's savegame has become deathly allergic to sunlight because of this quest. And that's all she wrote!