Part 83: idspispopd (Except Without the Smashing Part)Update 66: idspispopd (Except Without the Smashing Part)
Why do I get the feeling that I picked a really bad time to go exploring?
I dunno, maybe hat guy and his friends shouting about the "fucking blue pumpkins" has something to do with it.
I don't get this passage in Colette's anthology... Smirking makes humans and demons incredibly evasive? That makes no sense.
M-maybe smugness is the secret to dodging? I-I mean, just look at Nadia...
Oh boy oh boy. 28F is my most hated floor in the entire game. It is absolute hell to go through without using a map, and features really annoying, really deadly FOEs.
...Well then. I see you guys weren't exaggerating about this place.
Everywhere looks like a nice spot to just sit down, have a picnic, and take a nap, right?
With all of the monsters about, that nap might go on for longer than you'd like.
Okay, what's with this weird patch of light?
Yeah, right, sure. This light patch will 100% warp me somewhere when I step on it--
Are you okay? Everyone gets disoriented with their first time teleporting...
Oh man, I'm gonna hate this floor, huh?
W-what if that's the only one?
If I hate something, it's basically guaranteed that there's more of it.
I heavily regret all of my life decisions that have led up to this moment.
HP: 974, STR: 67, TEC: 47, VIT: 46, AGI: 38, LUC: 48
- Vile Fangs: Cannot be disabled. Deals 150% melee STR-based bash damage to one target, and lowers the target's non-base evasion by 500 for 4 turns. Damages the user for 90% STR-based bash damage after use. Has an 80% speed modifier and 99 base accuracy.
- Hell Thread: Used upon death. Cannot be disabled. Attempts to bind each party member's head, arms, and legs, with a 30% base chance.
- Normal: Damascus Claw. 50% chance. Sells for 1440 en. 1 needed to unlock Ogre Claw (+176 ATK). 2 Slaughter Claws and 4 Damascus Claws needed to unlock Noir Queen (+163 ATK). 10 Golden Horns and 6 Damascus Claws needed to make Full Plate (+88 DEF).
"Dark caterpillar fangs resembling needles. Only workable by the most skilled artisans."
- Rare: Soft Black Hide. 30% chance. Sells for 1833 en. 1 needed to make Leather Boots (+30 DEF, +2 TEC, can be equipped by Beasts). 3 Slaughter Claws and 3 Soft Black Hides needed to make Slaughter Collar (+84 DEF). 6 Soft Black Hides and 4 Cat's Eyes needed to make Lunar Coat (+53 DEF).
"Highly flexible caterpillar hide. Absorbs shock, and is thus used in armors."
- Ingredient: Curled Bug. 1 given. 1 needed to make Caterpillar Casserole (Western Food 6; allows one more retry upon Game Over).
"A curled-up caterpillar."
100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100%
50% 100% 100% 150% 50% 100% 100%
100% 50% 50%
0% 50% 100%
The most fearsome and aggressive of forest caterpillars!
High Crawlers are bad news if you kill them first, or even if they kill themselves with Vile Fangs. You can get really unlucky with Hell Thread and end up with most of your party members' key body parts bound, which can really easily be a game over against the wrong enemies.
...Which two Big Caps aren't in the slightest. Even if everyone got completely bound, these things would still die to a stiff breeze.
Eeeewwwwwwwww. The only reason bugs taste good at Regina's is all the extra stuff.
Okay, that takes care of--
If there's one thing I won't miss when this is all over, it's having my body either restrained or crippled by monsters.
Like I said, that could've been much worse if there were other monsters accompanying the High Crawler.
No. Please gods no.
If this floor is nothing but these stupid teleporters, I'm going to punch several walls when we get home.
Yeah, there's teleporters all over the floor that send you to these dead-end corridors, meaning I have to go back down to 27F and then walk back from there.
It's only gonna get worse from here, folks.
Can we just go back home and let the others take care of this?
I'm charging triple...actually, quadruple.
The way this floor's looking right now, fine by me.
Time to play a fun game of "guess which teleporter takes you further into the floor!"
I wonder how long ago we would've just given up if it weren't for this weird magic map.
The first floor, I'd wager...
The bottom one (which I labeled 6) is the correct answer.
This teleporter just takes us back here.
HP: 2823, STR: 65, TEC: 48, VIT: 52, AGI: 43, LUC: 54
- Curse Dance: Uses the arms. Uses the arms. Deals 6-8 instances of 100% melee STR-based cut damage to random targets, including both the party and all enemies besides the caster. Can hit each target once at most. Attempts to inflict cures on hit targets, with a 40% base chance. Has no speed modifier and 99 base accuracy.
- Normal: Slaughter Claw. 45% chance. Sells for 1370 en. 15 needed to make Dainsleif (+165 ATK). 20 needed to make Cursed Ring (Immunity to curse). 2 Slaughter Claws and 4 Damascus Claws needed to make Noir Queen (+163 ATK). 3 Slaughter Claws and 3 Soft Black Hides needed to make Slaughter Collar (+84 DEF).
"Black monkey claw that can cut anything. Through curses, it can be used for many things."
- Conditional: Perfect Hide (Kill with elemental damage). 80% chance. Sells for 2810 en. 1 needed to make Hymn Cloth (Troubadour ultimate armor; +90 DEF, +40 TP, +2 AGI).
"Undamaged black hide of a wild clawed monster. If the faintest scratch is made, it's useless."
- Ingredient: Black Arm. 1-3 given. 4 needed to make Shumai (Chinese Food 6; +80% petrification res). 3 needed to make Black Osuimono (Japanese Food 6; 2x Grimoire Fever chance).
"Powerful arm meat."
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A ferocious ape whose luxurious coat is very valuable yet fragile.
Black Claws are strange enemies, entirely because of Curse Dance. Curse sucks for your party to get tagged with, yeah, but it can vary for enemies. High Crawlers actually want to be cursed, for example, because it makes it easier for them to suicide on you and then use Hell Thread. Ancient Hermits, like the one here, though, can easily one-shot themselves just by normally attacking someone.
What kinda idiot monster can't avoid hitting other monsters?
...Never mind. The monkey's smarter than that crab.
Isn't that kinda overkill for one monkey?
I don't remember why I used Eschaton for that one Black Claw, honestly.
Ooh, a blue pumpkin!
I wouldn't try eating that if I were you, Sophie.
Hat guy and his friends were even more belligerent than usual, shouting about these things...
FUCK THESE FUCKING BLUE PUMPKINS
Wait a minute, where'd it go?
Vanishing FOEs. Sure, I'll take it. That's at least less crazy than some of the other things we've seen.
H-how does a monster even disappear into the scenery...?!
A better question is WHY ARE WE FIGHTING IT?!
I'm not actually going to fight this thing for real. All you need to see for now is how much Terror Pain screws up my party:
We are leaving RIGHT NOW!
Oh, come on, you've got that Healing Touch thing. Just fix us up and we can beat it!
If we die here, it's your fault.
Um, I-I don't think I hurt it... At all...
Cursed Pumpkins have 0% resistance to cut, stab, and bash.
...It tastes kinda like both pumpkins and blueberries, with a hint of pure evil. I dunno how to feel about this.
Note how I have the pumpkin's head and arms bound, as well as the fact that it's panicked. With any other enemy, this would be an incredibly favorable situation.
I hope we have some way of damaging it besides just me...
...The problem is trying to whittle down 18k HP with just Stardust, since Freyja's a non-factor with these things.
This thing will 100% kill me if I try to war of attrition it.
I'm kinda curious, where's this one go?
Probably straight to somewhere annoying.
Or somewhere pointless. That works too.
How about this one?
Oh, this is gonna be fun if the floor's filled with these things.
Getting past the Cursed Pumpkin just means you have to go in the room when it's somewhere around where it is in this screenshot.
It's been a long, long time since we got something good out of these things.
Save the despondency for when we actually end up somewhere annoying.
T-two empty corridors side-by-side...
I'm getting flashbacks to the very start of our exploration.
The deer corridors but with pumpkins. Uuuuuuugh.
How long of a break are you gonna need after we're done with this floor?
Somewhere between "a few weeks" and "until we finish," I guess.
R-Realga, please... I can't breathe...
This godsforsaken Labyrinth's bad enough, going through a room where I can't see without clinging to someone is gonna easily lead to me dying!
It's one pumpkin after another.
It's not often you hear Realga growling like Ursa.
On the one hand, I want to stay as far away from those pumpkins as possible. On the other hand, having a giant empty spot on the map's going to irritate the hell out of me.
She...just took off with the map...
Even I can see this is a bad idea.
You never know until you--
Let's just...go back to town for now.
One rest (in actuality, one day in real life) later...
Wait a minute. Didn't we have a quest about this stone tablet thing? This spot looks pretty suspicious.
SYSTEM: It's a small area of stone floor, and in its center is a square depression. It looks like something would fit inside. You recall that you are carrying a stone tablet for one of the bar's requests... You retrieve it, and compare the two--it appears as though the tablet and the hollow are the same general size and shape. Perhaps if you put the rock into the depression, something will happen.
Well? C'mon and do it already.
SYSTEM: You attempt to fit them together. Everyone gathers around, crouching down to assist you in the placement of the tablet... As you slide the stone into the hollow, you hear a rustling from up ahead! Within moments, you see a small opening. It seems as though you can make your way through... If you feel courageous enough to enter the passage, you may do so.
I see no reason not to...
SYSTEM: You appear to have found the hidden area, but it doesn't seem to differ too much from this floor's usual scenery. Cass will expect more than this in your report... You should find some evidence or other to take back for him.
This room is special. You can see an Icy Bulb in front of us, but it's actually impossible to clear out the room of the fog--because there's three Icy Bulbs, and even if you kill two of them, it's impossible to corral the last one into a spot where you can kill it.
We wouldn't want to kill all of them anyway, because...
There's a teleporter all the way at the back of the room that you need at least two Icy Bulbs for--one to block the path, and another to push through the teleporter.
Yes, Icy Bulbs can use teleporters just like us, and I'm doing this now because it'll be a requirement for fighting a postgame boss later on.
This kinda looks like...a gravestone? What?
I find it difficult to believe that anyone but us has ever been up here.
Instead of questioning where it came from, how about we read it?
SYSTEM: The language is dense, but understandable. It reads...
TOMBSTONE: He of the stone aerie, he of 50 heads and 100 arms, he who would shatter land and sky, he who devours mortal life, here resteth. Dread ye the loathsome giant's advent, for no man or woman of mortal blood may lay hand upon him... Pray thou that he remain in rest, and stray not into mortal lands. If thou be wise and mindful, then heed ye these words. However, if thy heart dost cry out for bitter vengeance, then steal the vision of his hundred eyes with brume and fog. Only thus may son or daughter of man strike true, and pierce the throat of evil with mortal-forged steel.
SYSTEM: That appears to be all the text on this tablet...
...Okay, what? What did any of that mean?
That was some old, old, OLD-fashioned language, too.
Whatever "resteth" here seems to still be dead. I don't think we should pay this much mind.
SYSTEM: You don't understand what the text is alluding to... However, it seems like this is the most you will be able to find in this secret room. It may be best to head back and report with what you've found.
How'd it go? Yeh find anythin' interestin'?
A stone tablet that had a really, really long...epitaph, I guess.
I wonder how long it took to fit that much text on something that small.
Eh...? A stone tablet, but yeh don't understand what's written on it...? Well, if it's beyond even yeh lot, then how the hell am I s'posed to know? Well, s'pose we should tell the Palace about this tablet, and let them handle the rest of it. I'll go let 'em know. Yeh lot just figure out yer next move! Here's yer reward!
I mentioned this before, but we needed to complete The best-laid plans to unlock a boss later on.
Finally, actual progress!
Luca, I think Realga's about to lose it. Even more than that one time we did all those doors and just found a giant empty room.
I can see that, yes.
...Okay, maybe everything isn't so bad.
I was fully expecting to be really disappointed. It's nice to be happily surprised for once!
Food food food food food! Ooh, I wonder what Regina can make from some of the monsters we've run into...
I question how monkey arms can make good cuisine, but that's Apicius for you, I guess.
What you can't see, even if I actually tried to document that room in full, is that there's two pumpkins constantly chasing you. Killing the Icy Bulb is pretty much a death sentence in there.
I've got a bad feeling about this top teleporter.
A-any reason why?
Because hat guy said his guild tried going through it and just ended up all the way back there. See? I already marked it.
...Any reason they couldn't have just told us where all of the trick teleporters were?
They were too busy shouting and sobbing into their mugs to tell me any more than that.
YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Even I was getting really tired of teleporters and fogged rooms over and over.
I get the distinct feeling that the next floor's going to be even worse.
Who cares when I'm not gonna be one of the suckers exploring it?!
The first thing I did upon going back to town was looking at quests.
The studious scholar:
Ah, of course yeh're takin' that request. Heh. I got word that the Master Craftsman's Scholar piece has turned up.
If yeh can get the Scholar, yeh'll have four pieces in yer hands. The Princess piece will be just a hop and a skip away. So, there's a scholar at the bar that's studyin' the lifestyles of monsters. That's yer client, so go ask for the details. And...one thing. The requester's kinda...skittish, so don't just go thunderin' over there, awright?
Shadow of the castle:
I'm so glad yeh're takin' that quest... Yeh're probably the only ones that could do anythin' about it. Remember that weird tablet yeh found in that hidden room on the 28th floor?
The one we just did?
The Palace heard what happened, and they went to go investigate with some other adventurers and the guard corps. The moment they got their hands on that tablet, some...thing came at 'em. Wasn't like anythin' else of this world... After that, things got...messy. Not a single damn guard or adventurer made it outta there alive.
The Palace keeps sendin' out more guards, but they can't do anythin' against a terrible beast like that... Ain't anyone else they can turn to...except yeh lot. Yeh always get the job done, don't yeh...? If yeh could take care of this...it'd be a huge help. Anyways, yeh can go to the Duke's Palace if yeh wanna hear more about it. G'luck!
In a little bit, Cass.
The ancient blade:
Oh, it's yeh lot. Yeh remember the sharpener that left me a quest? Well, looks like we got another one from him. This one's even worse than the last one! He only left me a barebones request with no clues or anythin'. Bring me Flame Marrow that you can get from Salamander...that's all this note says. He probably wants yeh to bring them to his place once yeh get the goods. I guess yeh get the idea, but I sure woulda liked him to write out some kinda details. Without the details, I gotta read it, and interpret it, and play this guessin' game with yeh lot. Damn irritating, eh?
Um, isn't interpreting this stuff your job?
...Yeh know, yeh lot are pretty annoyin' yerselves. Awright, I get it, I get it. Go get the job done.
Good thing we can kill Salamander ludicrously easily now.
Uh, are you the one that posted that quest?
Huh...? Uh, uhm... D-Did you... I-I mean, were you talking to m-me...?
Um, uhm, uhh, I-I'm sorry...but... Could it be that, um...you came because you saw the request I put up...?
Y-You see, I'm a monster researcher... And, um...there's...something I-I really want to...ask...a guild...to do for me... C-Could you please show me your Codex!?
Th-Thank you...so much!
D-Do...do you all love...monsters...too...?
Is that so!? What do you think of Rafflesia!? Isn't the way it squirms just fascinating!? And the way it just sits there, too! Completely still! Simply marvelous! And that Fishman...why, it looks the best of all of them! It's so amazing! I could watch it all day!
I know, right?!
...*giggle* Oh, I-I'm sorry... I guess I was so happy I started crying a little... A lot of people tell me I shouldn't like such weird stuff, or it's not ladylike, so I don't often meet people who enjoy it like I do... I'm really glad that I met you... Maybe I can finally have some confidence in myself... I-I'm sorry for saying weird things... But I was just really glad to hear that from you... And um... This is all for your quest. I was so moved by how many monsters I saw... Thank you very much. Um... Please, make sure you treasure all your encounters with monsters, okay? Now, um, excuse me...
...W-were you talking about eating monsters, Sophie?
Yeah? How else would I be talking about monsters?
Oh! Mission complete, eh? Haw haw! She cowers if yeh even look at her funny, but she's still interested in monsters... Aren't ordinary folks scared of 'em? I guess explorers are all used to monsters by now. Bump into a snarlin' beast, and they just don't give a crap, eh? Huh? Of course, I'm talking about yeh! Ahaw haw haw haw haw! Hey, hey, don't get mad, I'm sorry, awright? Here's the reward. Go on, take it and go!
DID YOU GET THE LAST CHESS PIECE?!
Gah! Yes we did, why did you storm into the bar all of a sudden?!
Ooooooh yes, c'mon, gimme! I gotta shove it right in that noble's face.
...If you say so.
Hmhmhm... The goldsmith's pieces truly are beautiful... And the Princess is the jewel of the collection... What sophistication and beauty...! Hmhmhmhmhm...
Hey, buddy, we're back. Gimme the Princess now.
Oh, it's you again... But I've been quite clear! You have nothing in your possession worth the--
...Wh-Wh...!? Y-Y-You! Th-Those are the rest of the legendary goldsmith's...!? Guard, Garrison, Duke, Knight, and even the Scholar...a-and they all appear to be quite genuine... T-To actually collect the full set... I'm a man of my word. I promised you a trade, and a trade you shall have. Here...the Princess piece.
Hee hee hee, thank you for the piece. Look at how shiny and beautiful it is! Look at how much you don't own it now!
Nadia, come on, let's go turn in the quest.
But I'm not done flaunting!
I'm sorry, my darling princess... We'll meet again one day...
Ahhh, welcome back! Well, now... I didn't think yeh'd be able to scare up a Princess! I've never in my life seen one of these... Great work! I knew Lumen could do it! Wish I could keep it... I'd never have let my old Guard go if I knew this'd happen... *sniff*
So, uh, how about that reward? It looked pretty important.
Eh? The reward? Aw, I was trying to pretend I forgot! Haw haw! Ah, relax. Just kiddin'... It's a pretty hefty reward... The client was a knight who saved High Lagaard a bunch of times. He always said he'd offer one of his treasures if it'd be of use to the explorers. I s'pose the Labyrinth is part of High Lagaard, too... Well, I'm glad yeh lot were the ones to do the quest! I couldn't just hand out one of our national treasures to some random joes, could I? Here it is...the best axe yeh'll ever see in High Lagaard! The Yggdrasil Axe!
Ooh, it looks pretty! ...It's sharp, too!
W-why did you test that?
Shame that Zack detests using axes now, he probably could've made decent use of this.
Oh well, it's another thing for our ever-growing pile of garbage at the cafe.
I'll be counting on yeh lot even more now!
Given that the true ultimate axe has an HP and VIT bonus in exchange for a few less points of ATK than the Yggdrasil Axe, you could make an argument for preferring the Yggdrasil Axe on an Axe Landsknecht.
Cass, something that smells really strong, please.
...Whuh, huh!? For a second, I thought I saw my old grandma waving to me from beyond the grave...what's in this drink? Oh, Lumen? Huh? Did I...did I pass out again?
Seriously, I'm always in your debt... Heh heh. I usually give my Lilly some exotic food, but it's something different today. See, by defeating a Trihorn while it's cursed, you get this Cursed Horn! I had to beg Marmott again and again to get her to curse that thing for me... Still, I guess it was worth it in the end. It'll be an absolutely perfect fit with my brave, adorable Lilly! Hah... I can't stop thinking about how cute she'll look with this. Lilly really is...an angel.
I think Ursa's upset we don't pamper her as much as Tramonte pampers Lilly.
Let's close out with 29F dialogue.
Oh, that reminds me! I heard the news! You made it to the 29th floor, didn't you? Is that...almost the top?
Given that every stratum's been five floors long so far, I'd guess "yes."
What are you planning on doing once you reach the top? Are you...thinking about leaving this place?
I've spent enough of my life in these frigid mountaintops. I wanna go travel the world with Stardust when we're done with this.
I...honestly have no clue what I'll do when we're done...
Travelling at least the continent looking for new foods sounds fun!
...You know, we're actually a bit shorthanded here at the inn. If it's alright with you, you're always welcome to come work here, you know. Room and board would be on the house! And I know my daughter would love for you to stay.
Give it some thought. I won't force you, of course, but... You're practically family to us, you know!
Someone's sounding stiff and professional today.
...Hee hee, did I surprise you? Another shopkeeper said something like that to me when I was out shopping with dad. It made them sound really sophisticated, so I decided to try it too! When I said the same thing to Dad, he looked so surprised! Hmm...it doesn't really feel right, though. It sounds a little strange coming from me, doesn't it? But I thought I'd do it at least once more, so that you could hear it! Hee hee... I hope I didn't throw you off too badly. Please take your time and look around!
This cafe serves food made from the ingredients gathered by the realm's heroes! ...Or so they say.
D-does that annoy you?
Hm? Oh, no, I have no problems with that. As long as they try the food, they'll figure out that it's good on its own. It's pretty funny to see those that aren't expecting much from the cooking take a bite. Their jaws drop, and eyes widen. Hahaha...
I cooked some foods.
Hermit Sugata-zukuri makes it so that Fire, Ice, and Volt Jars are infinite use. Absolute garbage, why would you take this over the Attack Item Up effect?
Black Osuimono doubles the chances of Grimoire Fevers occurring. Again, I must ask, why use this over the DLC if you have the DLC?
It took us FOREVER to get past that stupid teleporter fog floor, but we're finally moving again. 29F, here everyone-but-me comes.
Damn... it goes that high up, eh...? Wonder how that Yggdrasil thing even got there in the first place... I hear rumors here and there, but it's gettin' harder to tell what's the truth and what's just a story. I can't even imagine what the truth behind it is... It's the kinda thing that keeps a man up at night. What do yeh think?
Well, I'unno, what do YOU think, Cass?
Eh...? I'm the one asking the question here! Whaddaya mean 'What do I think'? I dunno, that's why I'm asking yeh! Yeh making fun of me or something!? Arrgh, now I can't stop thinkin' about it again! C'mon, yeh know the secrets, don't yeh? Just give me a hint. That's all I want.
Given what lied at the bottom of Ginnungagap, everyone's probably better off not knowing.
Good typo. Good copy-paste, too.
(In the original EO2, your guild basically unleashes a bunch of monsters out of the Forbidden Wood and near the city by trying to go further. That got dropped in EO2U, but Marion still talks about it.)
...Hm, well let me tell you something.
Someone at Atlus USA didn't do their message box length check properly.
(EO games don't automatically do word-wrapping, the writers have to manually insert linebreaks where applicable to stop dialogue from overflowing out of the text box.)
There is no need for you to falter. You should finish this the way you see fit. Even if the results will gather criticism, as long as you don't waver... That is all that is necessary. Well, that is all I have to say. If you need nothing else, then I won't keep you further.
Dubois greets us with his Shadow of the castle text.
No, no, it's not illness. You needn't worry. Now then, is there something you wish?
We're here about that ancient monster quest?
The...request, you say!? Absolutely not! I intend to have the area sealed off, so that there is no further bloodshed! I thought I had taken down that request already. We cannot afford to risk any more... I have made a grave miscalculation.
...Listen, members of Lumen. You are the heroes of this country. You represent more than simply explorers. If we were to lose you, on top of all we have already sacrificed, then there would be no possible redemption...
C-can you at least tell us what happened specifically?
...I cannot. Please, as a favor to me, I ask that you reconsider.
...No. We've fought far worse than whatever this thing could be. If you won't brief us on the details, we'll just go out and kill it on our own.
...You're right... You are not simply explorers, you're heroes. I'd be taking away your purpose... In which case... please, forgive me for dispatching you to these dangerous lands! That...thing appeared on the 28th floor, and it tore apart both guards and adventurers alike. Its name is Hecatoncheires. The old documents call it a monster born from the evil within the castle. It seems Hecatoncheires assaulted the one who gave him life, and was made a prisoner in that forest. But now... he has escaped his chains, and feasts on our guards and explorers! At each count of the casualties in the beast's attacks, our situation looks more and more bleak... We cannot afford another loss! I am relying on you all to come back safely! On my honor as a Minister, may your quest be successful!
Hecatoncheires, or "that thing most people I talk to about EO2U can't spell."
Anyhow, Dubois's normal dialogue.
Nothing. We just told Marion that, too. Why does everyone think we look upset?
Maybe because we just went through that teleporter and fog hell?
Hrm, judging by your faces... You may have done something that you greatly regret, no?
...Well, I will not press the issue. Regardless of your decisions, we will stand behind them, and support you. Whatever the matter is, don't worry, and press onward. Do what must be done.
Are you trying to, like, reverse-psychology us out of fighting Hecatoncheires?!
I'm sure you could infer this, but next time: Hecatoncheires.