Part 39: Long and Winding RoadPart 38: Long and Winding Road
The Green, Green Woodlands
Man it's weird coming back here.
I could kill Fenrir by just looking at him funny.
Ah, another small, innocent creature that does no harm.
Too bad an old white male wants it killed.
We live in a society.
But you all live in a different society. I don't know what point I'm making with this.
300% 300% 300%
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100% 100% 100%
100% 100% 100%
Normal: L Leaf. 100% chance. Sells for 10,000en.
3 required for Moss Band (Accessory, TP+70, AGI+15, TEC+15)
We're starting this update with some quests I accidentally skipped over, but they're quick and easy, so it doesn't matter. The game is being real generous by letting you encounter this monster via a quest. Do not, under any circumstances, try and find it properly, we'll see why next update.
Aw, what, you get a free one of these? No fair. Wait, never mind, you only get the Moss Band from it, I forgot.
The last of the rare plant enemies in this series. This game gives you a freebie here. Take it. Also the accessory is uhhh. I guess Alchemists can make use of it, though there are better damage dealers to be using at this point.
Another good deed done.
I love helping people.
I'll tell the old man when he comes in again. I'm sure he'll be delighted.
Well, gotta do one good deed a day.
Helping old white males and conforming to their world view makes things so much smoother.
We live in a society~
Aww, what a cute little- gaaaahhhh, not the face!
However, the mouse ignores the cheese, instead preferring to take a bite out of you!
Geez! How could something so small be so destructive?
Speak for yourself.
100% 100% 100%
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150% 150% 150%
You've seen crazy quest enemies, but what about optional quest enemies? If you choose the wrong spot, you encounter this little thing. Since you can finish the quest without killing, or even encountering one, it's the only enemy in the game to not be put into the Bestiary. Wow!
...This thing is in Claret Hollows?! It's on B25F in EOU.
This thing hits really damn hard. I mean just look at that STR stat! And it takes a while to take down. Fortunately it's limited to single target damage.
Wrong side, motherfucker.
There's 5 locations we can go for, but it's random which one's correct for each game, so just keep at it until you get it.
Oh joy, a tile hunt that's randomized.
Never thought I'd see a caged rat being brought in by a troupe of squirrels...
Awww, how cute! The ribbon goes so well with its fur... so where was this little cutie? The 26th floor?! How did such a small thing survive all the way down there...? At least the darling is safe now. I'll make sure our client gets it back.
Wonder how it got down there. You able to talk to him, Cheese?
What, just because I can talk to squirrels it means I can talk to all rodents? ...well you're right, every time Latche gets the chance, he runs off to explore the labyrinth. He goes solo, so turned down my masters' offer to join us. A shame.
I feel like I entered the conversation at the wrong point...
By the way yes, 5 measly en is your only reward from this post-game quest. Love you too, game!
Somehow getting levels while beating weak stuff for that dumb quest or whatever. Hexers don't really worry about TP and have 150% HP Up, so we'll go for that or whatever.
We need to get around to these conditionals eventually, so since we're in the area, we'll do it now. Kill within 2 turns, to refresh.
Also got the rare drop to grab. Woo, content.
We're actually still too weak to get this conditional, within 2 turns again, but I still got it afterwards, wow how crazy and surprising.
And then some more random levels. Caduceus now has 320% power and a 75% base chance to stun. It's pretty good! But will usually go last, so it's just a big smack. Also a nice 130% ATK boost. Not that it compares to 300% compared to the Medic, but DH's take what they can get.
Caduceus can be fucking scary at this point. It hits super hard, and if you're lucky, it can buy you a free turn on a boss!
1 Gold Plume is required for Angel Robe (Ultimate Medic Armor, DEF+45, AGI+7, TP+22, must be restocked), sells for 80,000en
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh...? DEF+9 and TP+7 compared to the Rune Tunic, with some barely noticeable AGI added in too. Not gonna bother, since that's some mediocre stat boosts for another 75,000en!
1 Evil Scale required for Brave Gage (Landsknecht Gloves, DEF+11, STR+12, must be restocked), sells for 63,000en
That's a LOT of money for some extra STR, but it's better than all the garbage we've been seeing recently. If you're gonna stack STR, might as well go all the way.
A piece of ultimate equipment that doesn't suck? Say it ain't so!
1 Evil Crest required for Speed Boot (Survivalist Footwear, DEF+12, AGI+20, LUC+15, must be restocked), sells for 49,000en
Ugh, if AGI and LUC weren't garbage then this would be amazing! Just stick with whatever other boots you fancy, they're cheap and don't offer much, but it's better than this.
Gods I miss when stat bonuses were fucking ridiculous. Whenever I look at the Dragonbane in EON, I just think about how much I miss its EO2 version.
Oh boy, 15 more LUC! I guess you have a slightly better chance of snagging an item drop now?
Only a few days from retirement!
Ah, there you are. We need some money, honourable man, so Cheese said to "fucking hurry up already you useless cretin".
Thanks for finding all those bizarre ingredients. I couldn't resist wondering about the dish, so I finally asked our client. What a mistake that was! Hours and hours of lecturing on his refined palate... sorry I asked. Are all food-lovers weird like him...?
Seems this quest appears when you've done most of the postgame quests, since this wasn't here when we reached B30F.
Ancient relics... this seems like a tough request. Just bring back anything you find in the ruins that seems really old, I guess. Good luck finding them...
Seen anything, Liana?~
What, just because I'm amazing and spot everything no problem it means I've seen various trinkets around the labyrinth? ...well you're right, I'll lead you right to them.
The Cavern of True Red
You ready for a tile hunt with no indication of where to go? Hell yeah you do!
Eugh! Why!? How are you supposed to know where to look in these quests? The later games stopped with this nonsense and just put the target tiles in far more obvious places.
Even I saw this one!
Well, another man's trash...
At least this way I can show off my cool maps, cause I'm making real proper perfect ones. Admittedly they can't be perfect until I stand on every tile so you can see the entirety of an FOE's patrol path but I'm not that crazy! Haven't been tempted to do that! Not once! Haha...
Oh yeah, we've barely explored this floor, so things can be a bit scary.
Admittedly, marking the correct warps really doesn't help when you're trying to do anything else in the floor.
This is nothing to a dragon.
One benefit of Ryu being level 70, these are now one shot, makes my life so much easier.
Alright, five dumb things that are practically useless, let's get- sis has her detective face on again.
Each of these items has a small description, see if you can work out what they are!
Shiny Disc: Mysterious mirror with a hole in the center.
Soft Glass: Looks like a glass bottle, but with a oddly soft feel.
Token: A dull golden token with ancient designs engraved on it.
Clam Tool: Folded piece of metal. Its purpose and method of use is unknown.
I doubt this is what Liana heard, but it's still hard as hell.
Not a problem to me.
Charge: Doesn't use a body part. Charges to use Stinger next turn. Increases ATK by 100% and has an 80% speed modifier.
Stinger: Uses the Arms. Stab attack that deals 120% damage to a single target. Has a 90% accuracy modifier and a 10% speed modifier.
0% 0% 0%
0% 0% 200%
0% 100% 1%
100% 100% 100%
Normal: Odd Fruit. 25% chance. Sells for 1250en.
5 required for Nectar III (Medicine, revives the target by 1200HP, must be restocked)
5 required for Somaprime (Medicine, heals the entire party by 1200HP, must be restocked)
Oh hey it's a crab, except it's a scorpion. At least it wastes turns by charging, but it doesn't make it less annoying to deal with. But hey, since we've got Ryu this time, we'll kill them, since having Odd Fruits are good.
You have no idea how jealous I am of the incredibly fucking weak Steel Barbs you get in EO1. I get to deal with their EOU version, aka that thing that's more deadly than some FOEs.
These things are purely designed to be time wasters. Kill one for the codex, and then just fucking run whenever you get into a battle with one these. Unless you're capable of killing it fast, of course. You'll see the reason shortly.
You step back after laying down the meat, when a strong flapping of wings arises suddenly. You close your eyes to shield them from the billowing cloud of dust.
Guess we can be blinded by honour.
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag.
Between the five trinkets and all this, our bag is rather fucking full.
Ugh, at least the meat smelled nice, but what the hell is all this???
Ah, gems as beautiful as your eyes.
See, at least that works since the Black Gem turns a lovely purple when you hold it to the light.
Oh get a room you two! Preferably not the one I share with her!
Is that the bird's feathers? I've never seen one like it... it's certainly beautiful. Our client will be pleased to know the bird really exists. Hm...? A stone? I think all he wants is the feather, so you can keep that for yourself. But you didn't actually see the bird, did you? I guess we'll never know... then again, it's much more romantic this way. Some things are more fun as mysteries.
We'll definitely have some fun looking over this stuff, ufufufufu.
Seriously, is it some kind of spell, how do you keep lighting up your glasses like that???
Still, I wonder what it could be. It's small, and almost... cute.
Oh, how pretty! It looks like a mirror, but there's a hole right in the center there...
Is this a bottle? It's so light, though... and it's pretty strong! I think I want one too... I wonder if I should try to get one... huh? Well, I more meant putting up a request for you to get me one. Heh...
Ah, this must have been a coin! But there's a hole in the middle... how did they do that?! The ancients must have been impressive metalworkers...
How mysterious... were these the castanets of that era? The design is so intricate... hey, it doesn't open again after I shut it. What kind of castanets are these? I guess the ancients weren't as smart as I thought.
So, you found five ancient relics. That'll get you a reward of... 50,000 ental. Thanks to this request, I feel like I learned a lot about the ancient civilization. Seeing that stuff was pretty exciting! Thanks for your hard work, kids.
BONK! Wanna see Caduceus get some really big numbers? Then snag this staff for your Medic!
Now that's the GOOD shit!
You're, uh, drooling all over it.
Like you can talk.
Alright, we're nearly done with quests, thank god, so here's the last lot of preparations before the final floor!
In case you're curious how I quickly get through B29F, just two warps and then walking down. So easy. Remember that you have to travel the entirety of Claret Hollows in one go and that's just fucking miserable.
Yep. Still no shortcuts. This entire trial of misery has to be done in one run.
Eventually these things will do something.
Stopping getting excited as the prospect, you're as bad as Karin!
As you'd might expect, B30F is a long, drawn out gauntlet. So to add to that, I'll be fighting every regular battle we come across.
While you're fine to do this, it can get tedious, and any battle that happens to go south will require you to go through the entire stratum again, so best not risk it, especially if your team comp isn't all that.
Eh, I've gotten over their song.
We'll have FOEs chasing us the entire time, so having battles last longer than 2 turns makes them a problem.
And just in case you think you can take your time, those weird divets have endlessly respawning Teralichs. We can't see them chasing us since I have the walk through walls cheat on, but they're there.
Here's the main gimmick of this floor. You're essentially racing to the end of the floor while FOEs are chasing you down. Admittedly, the Teralichs won't ever catch up to you unless you really take your time, but Songbirds are definitely annoying. You've come this far, don't throw it all away now!
Going straight for the throat. Nasty.
I don't wanna know what the hell these things are.
R Plasma: Uses the Arms. A Cut attack that deals 100% damage to a single target and attempts to inflict Instant Death. Has a 20% infliction chance, a 90% accuracy modifier and a 90% speed modifier.
50% 50% 50%
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200% 100% 100%
100% 100% 100%
Normal: Red Ore. 25% chance. Sells for 710en.
30 required for Ruby (Accessory, DEF+4, Fire Resist Up 30%)
The final regular enemy of the game. It looks like a real pain, and is. Annoying to kill and will just merc someone if they get lucky. Thankfully they're just on this floor, but once you've got a mix of cells at low health, then things get very ugly very fast.
They're far more likely to instantly kill someone in EOU.
50% damage multipliers and a decent amount of HP, because screw you.
This is feeling like my limit. I hate limits.
So long as it's 2 turns, we can ignore all the Songbirds on this floor.
If you were thinking the Songbirds would hold up the Teralichs, nope! They disappear when you get far enough away, so you get a slight relief before the next one starts chasing you.
Aware is also helping immensely, since having a free turn means someone won't be dying, letting me kill them in 2 turns. It also seems like I'm getting into an encounter around when I spawn the next Songbird. I WONDER IF THAT'S INTENTIONAL
Fortunately, it's not. The encounter rate on this floor is actually rather low to middling.
Don't you think that's overkill?
There's, uh, not much to this floor.
Well, I'm trying to help.
While firing three arrows at once is cool, you could at least do something other than random trickshots.
Dark Hunters get 150% TP, but don't really need it all, so we'll divide between TP and HP.
Looks scary, but perfectly fine if we land the Petrify.
Well I revived you, so be happy about it.
An opening onslaught of 5 cells can be pretty nasty, but that last one attacked Liana AFTER she just got revived, which I'm pretty sure is ILLEGAL!!! But enemies will target whoever at the start of the turn, only changing it if they happen to be dead when it gets to that specific enemy's turn.
Passives! It's the part of the game you live for! Passives! 150% for both stats!
Phew, how's everyone holding up?
Feet hurt, but that's a given at this point.
I'm sleepy, but that can wait until we're done!
Everyone's got muscles, it's so nice to see.
Nearly everyone. Like I walk anywhere.
Final floors are super exciting.
They're very nice build up to your final challenge.
One more for the road.
But overall, this gauntlet hasn't been too bad. Couple of scary moments, but we're about done with the labyrinth. Crazy to think, right?
Been a while since we last saw a door.
Their opening sound is still gross.
A seal fashioned after a dragon's face is carved on it. As you approach, the seal on the door slowly fades away. Nothing more stands in your path! The way is clear to continue forth!
Still raspberry, still strange. Alright, what's next?
As you reach out to touch the door, a mysterious voice rings inside your head. "Only those who have bested the Labyrinth's mightiest behemoth shall earn passage here. That mightiest of beasts is... The Grand Wyrmoid. If thou would challenge the transcendent one in the depths, first defeat its guardian!" The mysterious voice withdraws from your head... it seems you cannot yet pass through this door.
Seems the dragon slayers are slacking.
Well feel free to join us!
Where the heck would a warp this deep down even lead?
The 31st floor, surprise, motherfucker!
Do not. Make me think about 31F.
They actually made 31F a DLC floor in EO2U. It fucking sucks, don't buy it or play it.
Wait... is this...?
Oh thank god.
Congratulations, you've beaten the Labyrinth and unlocked the warp from B30F to B26F! But to get through those three doors, you need to do something to unlock them: killing a dragon. To open up the healing point, you need to kill Drake, to open the rest of the floor, you need to kill Wyrm and to open up the warp, you need to kill Dragon. There's a reason it's the easiest dragon, since if you haven't killed Dragon, then you're forced to warp out, go kill it, then traverse the ENTIRE STRATUM to then unlock the warp. There's been no indication for any of this, the warp is like the healing point, but better, so if you killed the other two dragons, but not Dragon for some reason, then the healing point is useful up to a, well, point, otherwise it's whatever. One last final fuck you to end the postgame.
Okay I lied. The game has one true shortcut in this Stratum. And what a shortcut it is! Unfortunately, if you didn't kill Dragon, you would have to do all that all over agian. Wyrm is the only mandatory dragon to kill, but not going after the others just makes life so much harder. You pretty much have to kill Dragon if you intend on completing the post-game, otherwise you'll eat through way too many supplies on your way to the final challenge. Though killing Drake can mitigate that with the healing spring.
They straight-up did away with this in EOU, and instead kept the traditional reward for dragon-killing of increasing the level cap. You could theoretically get to the end of B30F without having killed any of the dragons!
It's just very inadvisable and you will most likely be very miserable if you try to traverse Claret Hollows without having done so.
30 Red Ore is required for Ruby (Accessory, DEF+4, Fire Resist Up 30%), sells for 100,000en
Hell yeah STR stacking. We've got one last dragon, so let's get to killing. This is what you level up to 70 for.
Alright, this should keep my shield cool enough.
I need a shield that stabs me with every use, it's looks so cool!
An investigation team from the Radha took the Tough Fang back to its nest... they tried blowing into the fang like a horn, and a gigantic red dragon suddenly appeared. The wind from its wings was so strong that they were slammed against the trees... the fang ended up broken. They said that red dragon tried to take over the Wyvern's nest, but couldn't get near it... it most likely was driven away by the sound from the fang. But since you beat the Wyvern, I guess that red dragon saw its chance to take over. It's supposedly incredibly strong--the investigators had to run for dear life. We can't leave a dragon like that alone, so I want you to see if you can defeat it. But it's definitely going to be a dangerous job. Don't do anything rash, okay?
Have you the courage to challenge this fiend? If so, then step forth!
Pretty scary, but it's pretty relaxed, which will be its downfall.
I'll show you who's the real redhead around here!
You'll be seeing red in a moment~
Dyed in Blood
Places you lot, this is what we've been practising for!
Searing: Uses the Head. A Fire attack that deals 900% damage to the entire party. Has a 100% accuracy modifier and a 200% speed modifier.
Assault: Uses the Arms. A Cut attack that deals 155% damage to a single target and attempts to inflict Stun. Has a 50% infliction chance, a 95% accuracy modifier and a 200% speed modifier.
Tailwhip: Uses the Legs. A Bash attack that deals 115% damage to the entire party. Has a 90% accuracy modifier and a 100% speed modifier.
Quake: Uses the Legs. A Bash attack that deals 130% damage to the entire party and attempts to inflict Leg Bind. Has a 25% infliction chance, a 90% accuracy modifier and an 80% speed modifier.
Howling: Uses the Head. Reduces the entire party's ATK by 50% and attempts to inflict Confusion. Has a 50% infliction chance and a 100% speed modifier.
Strike: Doesn't use a body part. Increases ATK by 150% and DEF by 100%. Has an 80% speed modifier.
75% 75% 75%
0% 150% 75%
1% 10% 0%
10% 10% 10%
Normal: Fire Fang. 65% chance. Sells for 8000en.
1 required for Flame Axe (Axe, ATK+200, STR+9, Elem: Fire, must be restocked)
Rare: Fire Scale. 5% chance. Sells for 13,000en.
1 required for Shinryuu (Ultimate Sword, ATK+250, All Stats +20, must be restocked)
Why does Drake use a different track...? Anyway, Wyrm is by far the toughest dragon, for the other two, you could block most of their attacks and only have one person die at a time. Not for Wyrm, it has a lot of dangerous skills, the ability to become even more dangerous and requires you to keep up your physical defense, as well as Antifire. However, its deadliest tool is Howling, able to drag this battle out and crumble your entire strategy if it uses it concurrently. Otherwise, it'll use Searing every 4 turns, usually go for Tailwhip and make itself terrifying with Strike. Once it goes below half health, it has a chance of using Searing whenever, so your Protector is forced to spam Antifire, making your survivability even more suspect and adds in the much stronger Quake to its arsenal. Even with Immunize, this is a very dangerous opponent.
Wyrm is...remarkably identical to its later versions. I mean, I did say that the dragons tend to remain the same from game to game, tertiary gimmicks aside, but eh.
Something interesting to note about the dragons in this game, is that they're actually fairly distinct from each other. They don't really feel like you're fighting the same creature again and again. Which is kind of what the later game versions can sort of feel like. Anyways, Wyrm is awful. Not because of Searing, but because of Howling. With a whopping 50% infliction rate on that thing, he has a 96.875% chance of confusing at least one party member! If that lands on your Protector, and Wyrm decides to use Searing next turn... yeah, say hi to the game over screen.
Oh lordy dragon slayer's coming!
By the gods, he's coming!
You can see how much it does with Tailwhip WITH Defender WITH F.Guard. Having the Pain Shield is a terrible idea for this battle, but we'll make it work and hey, Gerson has some Smite turns! They're pretty infrequent, but it's an option! An awful, idiotic option.
Please, you're not the only one who can hit the ground to sharpen their claws! ...ow, my hand!
Important to refresh Defender so it doesn't need reapplying on a Searing turn.
Stupid limits. I need to go beyond them!
You can only get so strong, otherwise the power structure gets so inflated there's no way for it to make sense.
So yeah, that's fucking terrifying. The only way Gerson survives this is with Defender, F.Guard and the Town Medal. Everyone gets pretty rocked, but thankfully we can relax on Searing turns.
This is what I was saving a fair few healing items for. Somas are particularly useless at this point of the game, but we need to kill Wyrm to get to where we can unlock Somaprimes and that. If you can fucking believe it.
Alright, well have fun guys.
This is going swimmingly, especially since Lavin was about to Somaprime everyone.
Ah well, at least we can bounce back. Our frontliners need Nectar IIIs now, if only we could actually get any more.
This thing is way too fast...
We will survive!
Lavin's having fun since he missed the last Defender, but better him than Gerson!
Thankfully it used Strike before a Searing turn, so that's something we don't have to worry about.
Ooh, using his shield to kill him, that's new.
Well at least it wasn't me.
Ugh, that's one hell of a screech, making me... less... murderous?
We can't be having that!~
The only reason this battle went so smoothly is because it only just started using Howling. Yes, everyone nearly dying and having Strike up for half the fight is... smoothly. Howling can really screw you over if it lands confusion, but since that effect only applies if it lowers your ATK, if you already have an ATK buff, it just cancels that out instead and leaves it at that. This makes a Troubadour mandatory, doing this battle without Bravery is miserable.
Later games separated effects like this, so even if you cancel the debuff, the game still rolls to inflict attached disables, for example.
And here's another example of a mistake in programming making the post-game significantly more tolerable. Howling's confusion effect only goes through if the debuff actually landed on the party member. As such, you can use Bravery as a shield, and make this battle possible and less luck based to win! Yeah, the post-game sucks and is a miserable pile of content. Later games fixed this bug, but gave you more ways to deal with Howling.
Double Dragon Slayer!!!
Oof, you're welcome.
And because we have to have Bravery up, this battle doesn't take long at all. Either you murder it quickly, or it murders you quickly, there's no middleground.
Oh hey, you've still got some spikes in your brain.
I don't think it makes a difference.
Oh excuse me, I only make the dragon fights remotely possible, best be on my way then!
Thanks so much for getting rid of that Wyrm. I knew I could count on you guys. You're amazing... that's the only word for it. I'll let Radha Hall know about the Wyrm's defeat at once.
1 Fire Fang is required for Flame Axe (Axe, ATK+200, STR+9, Elem: Fire, must be restocked), sells for 99,000en
That's every quest in the game! Yeah, it wasn't worth it... And neither is the Flame Axe, since, unlike the other elemental weapons, it's not the best option in its category, as the Meteor Axe is muuuuuuuch stronger. Fire's a rubbish element anyway.
Phew, with all three dragons down, it's time for the last few fights of the game... cause we've got some cleanup to do before the actual final fight. Oh joy.
Finally. Our suffering can end at long last...