Part 15: Preoria Part 1: The Pit Of Mud Wrestling Super ModelsFor a moment there I was afraid that Bandicam fucked up or I fucked up myself and I would have to re-do the mission.
But then it was OK.
Post 15: Preoria Part 1: The Pit Of Mud Wrestling Super Models
Or How I should come up with wittier false chapter titles
Taking a few steps down the stairs... and the level is already shit.
There's also a jumpscare scorp waiting just behind the stairs.
Keith is one of those people that find shooting stuff with two barrels of shot at point blank range challenging.
The village pedophile had been left here to hang out.
And then the worst thing happens: a tiny enemy provokes a group of Aggressive stance warriors!
I don't know who caused more damage: the fun size roaches or friendly fire.
Stumpy and Keith are sent to clear out the rooms on the left.
While ladies go to check out stuff on the right.
Flashman and Stitch are making RP bets on who is going to survive.
Hmm, seems to be clear... and in a better shape than my dormitory loundromat...
Not only is this LP causing a gum phobia, it's also getting me paranoid about giant roaches behind my back. Fuck you, Micro Forte! Humanoid enemies are the best video game enemies, NOBODY EVER WANTS TO FIGHT DOGS AND BUGS
The girls are getting on the poison train. It's what all the cool kids are doing.
More of the little shits.
If this was a horror movie, separating like that would be a deadly (but inevitable) move. However, having BoS' friendly fire in mind...
The room contains nothing besides the faint smell of desk jockey misery.
Small roaches pop quite well to shotgun. Plus, it's kind of fluffy: aside from flame(throwe)rs, shotguns are the best weapon to fight bugs and beasties in any medium.
You're poison runnin through my veins
We kill the big fucker - those shits are sturdy - before some smaller roaches spitr...gang up on Keith.
But hey, we get this sweet color coded security card! An artifact of the dark ages of FPS shooters!
Prof. Emerius JcDent will be hosting an discussion on the subject of 'Tunnels vs. Card Hunting: The Hard Choices in FPS Level Design' in a Community collage with you! Price of admission includes one free cup of coffee and signature on your copy of his book "Goth Literature Fresh(wo)men: Why They're Wrong For Not Putting Out"
We also find some antivenom and Psycho! Hooray!
Ooh, an interesting box! Wonder what's in it!
...Nuka Cola. This whole room is a fucking kitchen. There's a 200 year old sandwich in the fridge that's making spooky sounds.
We'll now be ignoring the gym in favor of the living area. I prefer to face radioactive shitter instead of possible FEV mutated canibal roidheads.
MORE ROACHES! AAAGH!
Seriously, the big ones are a bitch to kill.
Eat soviet power, bugs!
A picture of an eagle... three different flags... I don't know, this guy still seems like he could have been a limp wristed commie pinko. I mean, look at the color codes lockers and doors!
I also want my office to be across the halfway from sleeping quarters of everyone in the base.
And yes, the BLUE lockers contain Fusion Bats, because that's a logical place for them to be, and naturally they would have painted the lockers blue (and not just because they couldn't be arsed to come up with interesting holding containers)
More of the little shits!
Giant roaches: now come in green!
Come to think of it, is both my favorite smiley and a good reaction to this mission.
After some baiting and flanking shenanigans, all the roaches are dead. I'm not happy, not happy at all.
I also find this thing. Not to say that thrown metal balls aren't dead, but spiky bits definitely add to the effect. On the other hand, they might also be bad for aerodynamics...
Ah, who cares. I already contributed to a Facebook discussion on ludicrousness of giant mecha by basically stating "giant robots are sweet, shut the hell up", not going to argue giant spiky balls of death.
Liquefied tribals and Vault 0 citizens? That can't be good.
Also, how did they get here through all the BUGS?
That's only vaguely ominous.
At this point I mixed up this turret section with THE turret section. Thus Becky is left behind while the rest rushes past the turrets
Laser turrets: dangerous if you're a tribal or some other shmuck. He who dares (to run at laser turrets) wins.
Unfortunately, in bustle to clear the initial bug onslaught, Sharon stepped a little too close to the open door at got melted by the turrets. RIP Sharon.
The guys step up their bug cleaning/scorpion scar collecting efforts.
Flashman rushes past the turret (it's on the grey rectangle) which just whirs dumbfounded and sinks back into its hole, clearly impressed by such audacity.
The classic vault terminal on the wall open the door to the operating area.
Nuka Cola(s), a key card... what's this?
Three stimpacks bundled together and strapped to a pump to turbo inject that shit? Sounds potentially dangerous.
Eh, we need the health anyways and Stitch is no mood to charge past the turret.
Nothing to punch (Flashman is, of course, the master of one-punching small roaches) but a table explodes in his face.
Well what do you know, actual trapped stuff.
As with most secure containers and boxes in BoS, it holds failure and shattered hopes.
And improved leather armor, which is supposed to be a new BoS design that has no reason to be here. Thanks, MF!
The brave soldiers run past the turret and engage one of the bigger bugs.
Meanwhile, Flashman defiantly charges down a corridor towards a laser turret to check out a locker. Gee, it's like the turret placement was planned as some obtuse challenge instead of an actual, genuine security plan!
The locker contains the gun I used in Vietnam!
Fuck youuuu, turret!
Remember basic training, how they taught you to draw out and ambush the enemy?
Yeah, that shit doesn't work on stuff bigger than lil' roach.
Jump in, shoot, jump out, regret that there's no way to skip the mission.
Everything's dead? Good! Time to patch up.
Seriously, this mission is just burning through med supplies. Might be even faster than with Flashman's CHAAARGE!
Or I'm just getting worse as I play.
Flashman gets shot (twice) to turn on some switch which... turns on the lights? Don't know, don't care, first part over.
Next time: Preoria Part 2: