Introduction
The year is 2007. It is the future. The apocolypse has had an apocolypse and from the toxic ashes of Vietnam War II comes....FarCry3: Blood Dragon!
The best way I've found to describe Blood Dragon is that it's a total conversion mod of FarCry3. It's the same engine and assets, but tweaked and reskinned with a new map and new story. It has SNES style cutscenes, tons of hilarious dialogue, and a specially composed electronica soundtrack. The visual style is intended to pay homage to 80's sci-fi/cyberpunk fiction, but the game has basically any reference from the VHS era that they could think of. I'm finding it hard to pick out all these words, so the fact of the matter is, this is a game that is incredibly entertaining and you'll know pretty quick if it's something you'd be interested in.
I'm going to be organizing this LP similarly to the way I did FarCry3, but with only two categories:
- Primary: This is going to be all the story stuff in the game. Put simply, if it has a cutscene, it goes here.
- Secondary: This will include all map control, side missions, and any other bonus type stuff I decide to show.
FarCry3: Blood Dragon Announce Trailer - I legitimately thought this was a joke when I first saw it. Do yourself a favor and watch this.
FarCry3: Blood Dragon Art - This is a neat little post showing some of the early promotional art for Blood Dragon. Worth a look, some of the posters are awesome.
Carlyle's Notes #1
Completed my regular 5 mile run this morning and ready to continue the research on the Blood Dragons alongside the beautiful, intelligent Dr. Darling. The island is a cornucopia of unique plants and animals seen nowhere else in the world. I can't wait to experiment on them and Colonel Sloan seems very eager for the results on the blood of the dragon.
Carlyle's Notes #2
Dr. Darling's hand brushed against mine while we were separating the dragon blood plasma. She said it was an accident, but I know she wants me. And what's not to want. I have less than 8% body fat, I exercise regularly, and I'm 100% human as opposed to these cyber-dolts protecting us. Perhaps she wants a better physical specimen...very well. I will improve upon perfection.
Carlyle's Notes #3
The first batch of Dragon Blood serum is being centrifuged, but Sloan insists on testing it first. I've made extra for myself, naturally. If my test models are correct, and they're sure to be, then the serum will enhance natural abilities to peak. Unlike that Neanderthal, Sloan, it'll also increase my mental capacity to hyper-genius levels. Then Dr. Darling will have no reason to continue playing coy.
Carlyle's Notes #4
Injecting Sloan with the blood of dragons produced miraculous results, if I may be so humble as to espouse my own creative brilliance in improving on God's design. The blood interacted with Sloan's cybernetics, supercharging him, so I will inject myself using a suspended nano-solution since I don't have cybernetics. The nanites should be the perfect bonding agent. Wait until Dr. Darling sees what I've done.
Carlyle's Notes #5
I injected myself. The results were...less than promising. Instead of supercharging me, the dragon's blood supercharged the nanites instead. Now they're running rampant through my system, doing God knows what, but I'm confident my fine physical health and willpower will triumph over whatever they're doing to me. Regardless, I will approach Dr. Darling tonight and state my intentions to mate with her.
Carlyle's Notes #6
Dr. Darling continues to tease me. She said she'd sooner mate with a red-assed baboon with a community college degree and leprosy on its genitals than wear any pearl necklace I have offer (whatever that means) but she can only flirt with me for so long. On a sidenote, I haven't been able to feel my legs since the injection, but I can only assume I am triumphing over the dragon blood-empowered nanites.
Carlyle's Notes #7
I can't walk. The damn supercharged nanites are stripping the muscles from my body and my strength in deteriorating rapidly as the blood and nanites continue to ravage my system. Darling won't even talk to me, obviously off put by the loss of my superb body, while that goon, Colonel Sloan, continues to grow stronger. At least...at least I can still get erections.
Carlyle's Notes #8
Re: My Erections. I can't do that either, now. Fuck you...that's my note for today.
Carlyle's Notes #9
I am through moping. I've been confined to a wheelchair, but where my body fails me, my mind prevails! Sloan says that my...deterioration is an opportunity in disguise, and I must concur. Pure dragon blood is unpredictable, but my research can guide its effects to make slaves or monsters of men. We're moving on to phase two of the experiments. That'll teach Darling to spurn my love!
Carlyle's Notes #10
We've begun the experiments to weaponize the dragon blood. If my calculations are correct, and they are, we will change the world and remake it in our image, Sloan and I. See, Dr. Darling. I no longer need you. I have outgrown such trivial concerns as sex. My genitals can stay where they are in the jar in my desk drawer. I no longer need them since they fell off. What does a God need with balls....
VHS Tape #1: Monkey See, Monkey Kill
In the remote island research garrison, Dr. Emily Waverly and her team are conducting military experiments to turn apes into killing machines. But when their prized ape escapes from his cell during a violent tropical storm, Waverly and the others must survive the night as their experiment turns his training against them and picks them off one-by-one.
VHS Tape #2: You Have the Right to Die!
When the Black Angels turf gang goes to war with the Puerto Rican Hustlers over the local drug trade, LA becomes a blood-soaked warzone. The LAPD is powerless to help, but Det. Cole Gunner is out to clean the streets as a one man wrecking crew.
VHS Tape #3: You May Now Kill the Brides
In this supernatural comedy, professional widower Lance Evans has been marrying rich women before arranging for their "accidents." Now three of his wives are back from the grave for revenge, and Lance is about to learn the true meaning of 'till death do us part.'
VHS Tape #4: Hard Labor - The Seduction of Dale Pretty
When Dale Pretty is given life for a bank robbery gone wrong, he's thrown into the worst prison in the United States where his only hope for survival is his own body. See the movie that shocked America with its graphic depiction of doing "hard time," a film Get Rough Magazine called "A damning indictment of the American Penile System."
VHS Tape #5: Bad Breed
Deep beneath New Orleans' French Quarter, a deadly new species of alligator is born when radioactive waste is flushed down into the sewers. Now Dr. Stacy Chaste and Det. Rick Daring are in a race against time to find the mutant nest before the alligators attack the crowds at the height of Mardi Gras.
VHS Tape #6: The Adventures of Hard Savage
Straight from the comic books, archaeologist and rockstar Hard Savage comes to life in this action-packed blockbuster. While on tour, Hard Savage saves the beautiful Delilah Bangkok from ruthless pirates out to steal the Star of Kiwi. Action and romance follow the pair as they embark on the adventure of a lifetime to explore the lost island of New Zealand to find the riches of the ancient Kiwi Temple.
VHS Tape #7: Drown me to Death!
It's been ten years since Camp Hello lost 12 kindergarteners in a freak flash flood. Now the camp has reopened for inner-city youth, and the 12 missing children have come out of the lake to play with their new friends. Would you like to be their friend?
VHS Tape #8: Bourne to Dance
Michael Bourne is a troubled teen sent to live with his conservative aunt and uncle in a small town that isn't ready to accept his big city ways. But all it takes is one teacher by the name of Mr. Harding to show Michael the kind of love he's never known before...the love of dance. Come see what Thomas Finland is calling the "Feel Good Movie of the Century."
VHS Tape #9: Even Score
When German terrorists take the US President and an entire stadium hostage during an American exhibition football match, it's up to Major Kinkaid and his elite cyber-commandoes of Omega Force to save the day. In a race against the clock, they must free the hostages, disable a nuclear bomb, and deal with the Cyber-Commissar Red Menace in a fight to save Democracy itself.
VHS Tape #10: Boiled Egg
When Det. Eddie "Egg" Brosco is framed for being a dirty cop and forced to resign from the corrupt police force, he has no choice but to turn to Lil' Benny, a wise-cracking street thug he put away years ago, for help in clearing his name. Now, this buddy duo must take down a ring of corrupt cops out to kill them both before Brosco and Benny take them down.
VHS Tape #11: Boiled Egg 2: Boiling Point
Eddie "Egg" Brosco and Benny are back, and the stakes couldn't be higher. When Lil' Benny is arrested for a murder he didn't commit, Det. Brosco is forced to bust him out of prison to help clear his name. Now hunted by the law, the two men are fugitives out to solve the murder and solve the mystery of why Benny was framed for the crime.
VHS Tape #12: Popularity Camp
Eugene Gibson's parents send their nerd son to a popularity summer camp to help him gain confidence. But when Eugene and his fellow nerds are tormented by their jock counselors, they decide to fight back in this summer's funniest coming of age comedy.