Part 142: definition of a hero
Music: Wandering Shadow
But maybe I should've refused.
My nerves are getting strained.
There are goosebumps on my skin, and I might throw up if I let my guard down.
I feel hostility from behind me.
The invisible guard is watching out for the one he has to protect.
Man, how is he a guard?
The hostility I feel is definitely coming from the man behind me.
"Wait. Don't you have something you want to say?"
I glare at the invisible guy.
The leaving presence stops.
He appears, with hostility still present.
Music: Whirlpool of Fate 2
"I have a better opinion of you. It seems you can at least feel hostility. Wow, I thought you were a pacifist who wouldn't even kill an insect."
"Don't mock me. I'm a magus. If my enemy wants to fight, I'll fight back."
I confront the knight in red.
He smiles as if to make fun of me and shrugs his shoulders.
"Don't be ridiculous. A magus that does not smell like blood is only a half-ass.
Didn't you learn so from your teacher, Emiya Shirou?"
My spirits weaken.
Kiritsugu certainly said so.
Magi are tinged with blood.
It doesn't matter if you hurt or don't hurt anyone. This path is a path wet with blood.
Isn't that why Kiritsugu told me not to be a magus?
" Are you saying you don't smell blood on me?"
"Of course not. You're not fit to be a Master in that regard either. You are different from Rin."
"What is that? Are you saying you can smell blood on Tohsaka?"
"Yes. She is rather kind-hearted, but she's merciless when she has to be. She wouldn't go around looking for other Masters every day if that wasn't the case."
She's looking for other Masters every day ?
That means she's fighting other Masters.
It's not like it's over once she finds a Master.
" Then she's doing something like what happened at school every day?"
The event at school.
The same thing that happened in the woods today
"Of course not. I wish today would be the only case. It seems my Master of great skill and mind turns immature only when she's facing you."
"First of all, she doesn't need to cooperate with you with the skills she has.
But she's still doing meaningless things. I am against this cooperationbut well, it cannot be helped. Servants obey their Master."
"Isn't that right, Emiya Shirou? It means that a Servant has to obey its Master, even if he turns out to be a useless amateur."
Talking about me and Saber?
"I see. I feel bad for Tohsaka, partnering with such a cynical guy."
" Man, I'm stunned. Are you still saying such things?
I will warn you. Do not worry about your Servant's personality. We are summoned only to fight. We are only a tool bound by the Command Spell. You guys have total control over us, so ignore what your tool has to say."
I can't tell him that's not the case.
What Archer, the one bound by the Command Spell, said is definitely true.
I can't think of Saber as a tool, but it's true that Saber is bound by the Command Spell.
"So, why did you stop me? Do not tell me it's something as ridiculous as wanting to make friends with me."
I don't have a reason.
I just didn't like him, so I wanted to complain to him.
We all know the real reason.
"Umoh yeah. You want the Holy Grail as well, right, Archer?"
I ask an obvious question in desperation.
"Holy Grail? Oh, the evil treasure chest that is said to grant wishes, huh? I don't want such a thing. My wish cannot be granted by a thing like that."
The knight in red declares contemptuously.
Servants desire the Holy Grail.
Isn't that why they answer the call of the magus and become Servants ?
"Wait, what's with that? Then why are you a Servant?"
"It could not be helped over the course of the event.
I do not have free will. You must think we are answering the call by choice."
Does that mean he was called against his will even though he doesn't want the Holy Grail ?
"How stupid of you. Did you really not think about it?
Look, a Servant is one that is summoned.
No, heroic spirits are summoned not out of their own will, but by the wills of others.
We become heroic spirits because of our achievements, and we become support for people in the future."
"But. Do you think that heroic spirits would really wish to be an aide to humans?"
I don't know.
If they are called heroic spirits, they should be pure.
That's why I imagined them protecting people, but that's not the case for a lot of the Servants I've encountered.
"That's right. 'Heroic spirits' do not have a will.
Heroic spirits are there just to protect the people."
"We are only summoned when there are inconveniences, and we disappear after we finish our remedial measures.
We are beings that should not exist. We are not recognized even if we save the world.
These are the heroic spiritsthe ones of convenience that are called the guardian.
It is all over once we become one. Our wills are taken away."
One that is summoned only to disappear.
Heroic spirits are tools without a will?
"That can't be true. You and Saber have a will. You might have been summoned against your will, but don't you have a choice after you're summoned?
Saber's saying she won't do things that go against her will."
"Of course. We are Servants. I don't know who made this system, but this war is well-structured.
It gives form to what should only be a part of the main body, and we are summoned as the real heroic spirits.
As heroic spirits are given bodies, we can regain our humanity with them. Along with our former desires and grudges."
"That is why Servants seek the Holy Grail.
The Holy Grail should be able to fulfill our desires, and it will allow us to stay in this world as humans, even if it may be for a short while."
"Stay here as a human"
That must mean they can be set free as an individual and not a Servant.
And to add, the Holy Grail has powers to grant wishes.
If it allows them to grant the wishes they had before they died, it's natural for Servants to cooperate with their Masters.
So the Holy Grail must be a miracle for the Servants as well.
" How can you say you don't need such a thing? You can fulfill a wish you couldn't make come true, and you can even quit being a Servant."
"It is a simple story.
I did not have a wish I could not make come true."
"I am different from others. I made my wish come true, died, and became a heroic spirit.
That is why I don't have any wishes, nor do I wish to stay here as a human. That must be the same for your Servant."
"D-Don't be stupid. Saber said she needed the Holy Grail. She's not like you, who's being a Servant without an objective."
Why is it?
It's just a normal murmur, but a chill runs through me.
" Heh. It's the same even if you have or don't have an objective.
Ask your Servant if you're curious. Saber's objective is to obtain the Holy Grail, but she will not use it for herself. In that regard, she is an ideal guardian. She is literally a 'slave'.
If you are to be her Master, do not forget this."