Part 189: Distance
"Huh? This place.. is ?"
I don't know.
There's just something so sad about this.
I get up.
I remember everything and jump up from the be
Pain causes my back to arch.
I feel my left shoulder.
It's burning hot.
It feels much worse than a pulled muscle.
No, I'm lucky that my arm is still attached after a sword went through it, but it still hurts bad.
"Guh ah, ah, ha"
I slowly get out of bed.
I can bear this pain if I grit my teeth.
"No one's here?"
There shouldn't be anyone.
I remember Tohsaka's words.
She said those words and left.
So she went to fight by herself.
I head to the door.
I have to go outside.
I have to go find Tohsaka.
I almost collapse and support myself using the dresser.
I fall along with the dresser.
"Sorry I made a mess, Tohsaka."
I pick up the scattered stuff.
I find something familiar.
It's a simple pendant made of crystal.
" I think I saw this before"
I saw it somewhere.
Yeah, it was like this back then as well.
The night I got pierced by Lancer
The fatal wound was healed before I knew it.
There was something I picked up when I left the hallway with a tired body.
" Yeah. This is the same one."
I know, but my mind does not think.
Like the thing I dismissed as a dream
Like whose Servant was fighting Lancer at that time
Like who could have saved me and who could have been there at that time
There's no need to think about it, but my head is spinning.
" Damn. What is that? She talked about owing me and all, but this is something I can never pay back"
I feel dizzy.
My head's messed up from pain, heat, and self-deprecation.
I move my legs.
I have to look for her.
I have something I want to tell her, and there's something she needs to know.
That's all I can think about with this dizzy head
Then I can only follow my instincts.
I didn't have any way to look for Tohsaka from the start.
So I can only cling to this thing.
She expresses her anger and stares at me.
he is standing there, telling me silently that I am of no use.
"I won't go home. When I do, it'll be with you. We promised to fight together, right?"
I collect my hazy mind and move my lips.
"Forget about that promise. First of all, what can you do? Without Saber, you're no match for any Master."
"And there's no need for you to fight.
You're not a Master anymore, so you'll be safe if you run to the church. You just need to stay there and the Holy Grail War will come to an end."
"Don't be stupid, I can't leave Saber like that !
Look, I said I'll fight. So I'll fight until the very en"
I can't talk.
Just yelling makes my muscles cramp up, and I almost die.
"See. You had Saber's help until now, but that's how it is once you don't have her help.
Look, Emiya-kun. People normally die when they are killed. Your wound should be fatal, you know?"
Aw, the game beat me to it.
I know that.
I know, but it's so painful that I can't speak
"And you talk about Saber and all, but it's not a problem of yours.
You're not a Master anymore, so it shouldn't concern you what happens to Saber."
It does concern me.
All the more if Saber has helped me with pain like this up until now.
" No, even if I'm not a Master.
Saber didn't want it. I can't have her be controlled !"
Fine. If you don't want to admit it yourself, I'll tell you.
You can't save Saber as you are now."
My heat disappears.
Her cold words freeze my boiling brain.
You lost Saber and you're not a Master anymore.
There's no reason for you to be involved in this massacre, so you can forfeit here, Shirou."
Tohsaka turns and walks off.
"Stop, Tohsaka. But still"
Amidst the blowing winds
Tohsaka kicks the ground without any hesitation.
"You idiot! What are you thinking!?"
I reach out frantically.
There's no need for that.
The knight in red appears next to Tohsaka as if protecting her.
Even if she jumps off from this height, she should be able to land without a problem if she has her Servant.
Tohsaka's lips move slightly.
I can't hear what she said.
But her eyes
You'll die if you keep involving yourself.
Coldly tell me so as if it's the last warning.
I cannot save Saber.
And there is no reason for Emiya Shirou to fight.