Part 10: Page 10: Oliver Twist

Page 10: Oliver Twist


Legend of the Deep Forest

Yep, this is definitely a crystal room. You know what that means.



Don't make me do this. I really hate this book.

Please? I didn't sign up for this.
...
Wait, it's page what in my contract? Oh fine.


Win Place Show Chocobo!

This book is equally as tedious as its predecessor. Let's get started, then.


Prelude
Unicorn and the Town Musicians: Symphonic Survivor Prologue

Unicorn and his town musicians happily settled down in their new home. One day, though, the town was suddenly overcome by an infestation of malboros! The malboros spewed their terrible breath at the townsfolk and caused them to become ill.
The mayor went to Unicorn and asked for assistance. "Please, I'll pay whatever you want! Just find a way to get rid of those malboros and their horrible halitosis!"
Unicorn and his friends, seeing how much the mayor needed their help, nodded and then... Clop! Clop! Clop! Toot! Toot! Toot! Clang! Clang! Clang! They began performing a spirited melody...

Hey, don't worry about it! I'm a certified Malboro Masher.





It's probably our best shot to getting this in Versus level 1. How fortuitous that we can only access Versus level 1.


March de Chocobo
Symphonic Survivor Versus 1

This game isn't as annoying as Mimic that Melody, but it does come close. The majority of the damage I take is because I'm trying to knock him out of the ring.


Victory

Actually, now that I think about it, it would be easier to get 15 points in the higher difficulty levels. Either way, I've got it.





I'm good. We've also unlocked level 2, so that's what we're doing next.


March de Chocobo
Symphonic Survivor Versus 2

Versus 2 isn't much more difficult. It gets a little hectic when there's four people trying to crowd onto the same instrument, but hey, it's not that big a deal. Again, most of the time I lose lives because I try to knock them off.


Victory

Yeah. Definitely easier to get the 15 points the higher difficulties.



We unlock Versus 3 and an epilogue, so maybe this one restores the crystal?


Prelude
Unicorn and the Town Musicians: Symphonic Survivor Epilogue - Three Trumpets

Clop! Clop! Clop! Toot! Toot! Toot! Clang! Clang! Clang! Mal-mal-mal-boro!
The music of Unicorn and his friends led the malboros out to the river and saved the town. After the exhausting trip, Cait Sith went to quench his thirst at the sacred spring in the town square. Just as he was bending over to take a sip, he slipped, dropping his trumpet into the water! "Crivens! Ma lucky trumpet!"
Hearing the feline's forlorn cries, the goddess of the spring rose from the crystalline waters with a marvelous trumpet in each hand. "Was the trumpet that you dropped into my spring this golden one? Or was it this silver one?"
"Neither one, lassie! Ma trumpet is no as shiny as they are!"
The goddess gave Cait Sith a gentle pat on the head. "For being honest, I shall bequeath unto you both of these trumpets as well as the one you dropped into my spring."



She handed over the three trumpets to Cait Sith. It didn't take long for the group to find members to play the new instruments, increasing their already marvelous musical repertoire!

Far be it for me to say it, but... three trumpets, a hoof, and cymbals do not a musical repertoire make.



Sure. Let's just have an island out in the middle of nowhere. Why not.


March de Chocobo
Symphonic Survivor Versus 3

Just going to say this now: March de Chocobo is getting remarkably irritating right about now.


Victory

Greeble? I hate you. Just wanted to let you know.



At this point I really don't want to do this game any more. And I have two more to do.


Prelude
Unicorn and the Town Musicians: Symphonic Survivor Epilogue - Broken Promise

Clop! Clop! Clop! Toot! Toot! Toot! Clang! Clang! Clang! Mal-mal-mal-boro!
Unicorn and his town musicians entranced the foul-smelling beasts with their lively tune, and led the creatures out of the town to the river. Though the malboro menace was over, the mayor broke his promise and refused to pay Unicorn and his friends a single gil for their honest hard work! Soon after, all the children in the village began to dance uncontrollably.



They danced and danced, led on by Unicorn and the town musicians, until they were taken far, far away. The grieving adults left behind in the town were remorseful for breaching their promise to Unicorn and his friends but their dishonesty had already condemned them.

Good to know that this epilogue goes back to the old standby of everyone being a dick.



Hey, cool. We've saved the day. Go team!


Crystal Room

I am Unicorn, guardian of the crystal of earth. You three young ones are our last--and only--hope. The three of you possess the same key of destiny as the heroes who Bebuzzu four hundred long years ago.

Heroes? Key of destiny? This sounds complicated...

Nah, it's not too bad. When Boco became a Heartless to save Shirma, he created a Nobody named Xoboc who was then recruited by Zuxebzub to be the 13th member of their Organization of Nobodies. Turns out Xoboc can use the Keyblade, and was given the title "Key of Destiny". Not at all complicated, right?

It appears that our conversation must end at an inopportune time.



I feel like we're doing something wrong by restoring these crystals. Just a hunch, mind you.


Irma's Troupe

It's almost as if you wanted Bebuzzu to be fully restored to power!

As if! Restoring the crystals is the only way to stop him!

I think you have it backwards, you very little man. Come forth! Bebuzzu!


Sealed Book

Bottoms up!



Hmmm... Crunchy!

Last time he was a fire bird. What's next? A Colossus?



What.

Hey, whatcha lookin' at me so funny for? Is it my size? Ya think that just because I'm small, you'll be able to trounce me? Think again!

...what.



No. No no no. I'm done. Game over, Bebuzzu wins. I refuse to fight that.

































Oh fine. Let's just get this over with.



Hnnnnnnnng. I hate rhymes and children.


Battle Theme
Cardgame - Boco vs Unicorn??? Bebuzzu

What I do like is playing card games. Boco vs Bebuzzu's next form is pretty simple, actually. He has a lot of guardian cards, but they don't really have a lot of red blocks. Unfortunately, I couldn't get Omega Cannon to trigger, but it's all good. It'll happen some day. Some day...



For our victory, we get...


Sealed Book

I didn't want a close up of this guy. Really, I didn't.

You won't be so lucky next time, though. I hope you're looking forward to my next incarnation!



Yes, thank you. Get out.

I hope the next one is a little less... vertically challenged.



Yes, and we should do the same. I want to get away from these books.

Things are getting interesting now! Let's head back to the farmhouse.



Darlin' it's better down where it's wetter take it from me~


Chocobo Village

The firs two were in the north and east, so that leaves us with south and west.

Hmmm... I've heard stories about an ancient, underwater shrine to the south. There's also a mysterious tower to the west called the Technolith... South and west--how convenient!

Game, it's no fun when you make the jokes.

But there's no way to get past the ocean in the south or that cliff to the west. We're practically on the precipice of disaster here!

If only Cid were here... I bet he'd know exactly what to do.

What's a "Cid"? A type of salad dressing, perhaps?

Oh, I know what a Cid is. He's that asshole that keeps making those games. I'd like a word with him...

You never had a chance to meet him, did you? He's sort of a...big brother to us here at the farm.

Cid's a brilliant inventor, too! He's the one who invented airships!

But now he's living large in the big city across the sea. I bet he's forgotten all about us...

You know, I fully expected Cid to show up at that exactly this moment. But this isn't that kind of game.



It's this kind of game.



We're upstairs right now. There wasn't any reason to show it off, so, I didn't.

With this remote transmission gizmo, we should be able to contact him! Cid! Cid! Hello? Are you there? I don't think it's working... Maybe if I push this red button here...

...nah. Too easy.



Yeah, I'd be in pain too if I were in the center of what appears to be a camera flash. Those things are fucking blinding, you know?



Now Croma really is a Black Mage

Is it supposed to do that!?

Oh no! This is terrible! Cid's inventions sometimes have the tendency to do this.

There's a fine line between "useful" and "useless."

I bet Cid jumps all around that

Cid seems to tap-dance all over it.

Game, what did I say about making my jokes?



I bet it could cook up a steak reeeal good!



I have to do this sometimes. What better time than now?



Three Versus levels, three unlockables to go.


March de Chocobo
Mimic that Melody Versus 3

Remember the length of time it took to finish the first few levels?


Victory

I feel like the game is apologizing for that.



Fuck.



Gadzooks! I'm finally free of that killer compendium! The smell was killing me! Now I must get back to work. There's shiny eggs to be gotten!


March de Chocobo
Mimic that Melody Versus 4

Volg is a jerk.


Victory

Why do you make me sit there and wait for you to die?



With this, we have unlocked our last Versus level.


March de Chocobo
Mimic that Melody Versus 5

Volg is a JERK.



I don't really know what the fuck is happening here. We both have no life, and it's victory music.


Victory

Yeah, okay. Sure, I'll take it. Whatever.



_{what the fuck has just happened}


Prelude
Unicorn and the Town Musicians: Mimic that Melody Epilogue - Fireworks

Clop! Clop! Clop! Toot! Toot! Toot! Clang! Clang! Clang! The entire town started dancing in synchronization with the music of the chipper trio. Among the participants was a group of men ever so slightly out of place.
"You're not from around here, are you?" mumbled the baker to one of the suspicious men.
"J-just passing through," he replied, fidgeting nervously. Suddenly, a golden watch dropped out of his coat pocket!
"Hey, that's my watch!" accused the baker. "It was stolen yesterday!" It was true--unable to resist joining in the dancing, even the thieves had crept out of their secret hideout!
"Seize them at once!" ordered the constable, who had previously been doing a merry jig.



After the thieves had been locked up, the festive mood grew even more fervent! As the day wound down, a fireworks display was arranged to honor Unicorn and his band.

What will our reward be? What will the next goal be? When will I finally lose my sanity?

Next time: the answer to some of those questions.