Part 17: Temple of Time.
Chapter 17 - Temple of Time.
I said I'd do some actual-plot furthening, so here it is.
YOU HEAR THAT, AONUMA? FINAL FANTASY CAME UP WITH THE GODDAMN TEMPLE OF TIME FIRST. STOP STEALING THEIR SHIT, K?
Well, of course white wizards can't lockpick.
Thiefs can do that shit easily.
I'm getting more diamond gear. Stuff I don't really need...
They make you swim to get around this place. It's better than going frog, or something.
Sweet. I already have one of these, but a second is nice. It makes McFly that much more kickass.
Behemoths are the hardest enemies here. I'm so hilariously overleveled from the underwater cave it's not even funny.
This temple is essentially a repost if you forgot to get any items before.
See what I mean?
You think this would be hard, right?
McFly kills him in 1 hit
For some reasons, waterfalls hurt you in this game. I dunno, but waterfalls are always a fun experience for me. Plus great porn films are done under/behind waterfalls.
These are kind of nice. They raise vitality, which means more hit points at level-ups. Yay?
Which way? Well, left goes...
For more bullshit items I already got.
Oh hay check it out.
I don't want to hear a song in your shitty 8-bit music.
The game proceeds to play a 30 second long song here or something, it's annoying as hell.
Proceeded by fanfare!
Fuck this, I'm not walking outside.
So, about that Lute.
Let's wake this bitch up.
As you could guess, this wall is fake.
Time to wake up, whore.
The game proceeds to play the lute song we already heard in the temple of time.
This parrot acts a lot like Marcie in Peanuts, calling Unne "sir" as Marcie did to Patty, only this time there's no bimbo lesbian action going on here, unless Unne likes to caramelize this parrot and shove it up her ass on occasion.
Unne does this unfunny dance that just delays my time doing anything.
Did I mention unfunny?
A stone cave is good to you? Jesus, you've got NO standards.
Well, I wouldn't know what he was doing. You see, I've never met the guy, really. He's kind of that head of a corporation that you never really can get a hold of, and he's got that menacing look. His schedule is very tight, you see.
Cross mountains? Yay! Good thing too, because there's shit-tons of mountains in this game for some reason.
Well, Tacos here loves geriatric porn, so this works out well, you see...
Saggy tits joins!
Hey I like fangs, I think.
Well you're useless
Alright, I'm sick and tired of these fangs. Let's get rid of them.
See these statues? You can't get pass them.
Unless you have the fangs to destroy them
And they're gone. If I go any further, the final one would destroy me. I'd lose any saved progress, seriously. It kind of sucks. Actually, it's awesome.
And I got those fangs out of my inventory finally! Jesus.
Meet our next area!
Remember that "undisclosed" area I leveled up at prior to Salonia? Yeah, this was it.
We'll finish it some other time...