Part 53: Update Fifty One: The Engineer's TrialUpdate Fifty One: The Engineer's Trial
Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, we completed Bowser's Trial, which included picking him up a badass new accessory and a badass new spear. Today, we're going to do the easiest of the Trials, so let's mosey.
I had to leave this place to boot Goemon's ass back on the bench and pull Cid in.
This is a robe for Kim, and it adds +10 Intellect. I kind of wish I had brought her with me.
We meet a new enemy in this room, too. How exciting!
Stratoavis is a bucket of HP, with 24,458. Like all other flying enemies, he's weak to Throw.
Abel's Lance is Throw elemental, but I don't know why this wasn't a max damage hit. However, one sweet thing about Abel's Lance is that it randomly casts Tornado, which reduces an enemy's health to single digits. As great as that is, it will also work on enemies who are normally resistant or immune to Tornado, which means that Bowser is now King shitkicker and never leaving the party.
I didn't see Stratoavis do a damn thing, other than a weak physical. They're money geysers, though, barfing out tons of cash.
As well as a heap of experience.
But, let's get out of this room. The next room is pretty awesome.
To the left, there is an Item shop. To the right, an Inn.
To this guy's right is an armor shop, while to his left is a weapon shop. Both contain lots of goodies, so let's go shopping.
Starting with the armor shop. This is the point where all of this money is going to be put to good use.
The Assassin Vest is for Goemon, while the Battle Gear goes to Leave.
While we can dress the Twins in fursuits. I'm slightly ashamed of myself. But, they're kids, so maybe it's okay for them to wear goofy ass costumes.
The Maximilian adds +10 to Cid's Stamina, Spirit and Intellect. I'm not quite sure what he's going to do with the Spirit and Intellect, but I'll take it. It might come in handy on a rainy day.
Masa dresses up as a giant chicken and gets +15 Agility for his odd kink.
While Porom dresses as a kitty cat, which gives her +10 Stamina and Agility.
Next up is the weapon shop.
The Gigant Axe is an upgrade for Cid, but he's about to get something better, so I refrain for now. The Rising Sun is the ultimate boomerang, while the Assassin Dagger can randomly instantly kill a foe, but I don't buy one. All I pick up is a Tiger Fang for Leave, which adds +10 Agility and Stamina.
And, finally, we'll hit the item shop. There's an Inn on the opposite side, but it's 1050 gil a night and I don't need the rest.
This is the most extraordinary thing about this item shop, but I refrain from buying any Megalixirs. 650,000 gil is pretty steep and I don't have the gil resources I normally do, so these will have to wait.
Alright, let's skedaddle.
Into another cool room. I like this one, too.
Over in this pot, we find some Firewood, which'll be handy in a minute.
And this door takes a certain "key" to open.
Over on this side, there's just a pool of water.
Oh, hey, this might be handy.
And it's the "key" needed to unlock this door.
This actually stumped me for a second, since I couldn't figure out exactly what to do here. Then, as I was taking a piss, I figured it out and felt like an idiot.
Just beyond that door is a pot full of honey. I'm guessing that Bowser is wandering around with a handful of sticky, delicious honey.
Well, we've got some Firewood, but no fire. Well, actually, we do have Fire, but apparently Masa is too much of an asshole to just burn this door down.
And on the other side, we find a door with a bear on it.
I'm guessing that Bowser just kind of sloppily threw the Honey at the door, hoping for the best.
Oh, hey, a fire. That worked out well.
And then Bowser lights himself on fire. That boy's just slick as snot.
To the right of the fire, there's a doll just sitting around the place. I'm avoiding it for now, as dolls creep me out.
Instead, we come down here to find the path blocked.
To nobody's surprise, there's a secret passage to get around the rocks.
And then another one to get this Megalixir. I think I have five in my inventory now. That's about four more than I usually find in a Final Fantasy game.
Then we pick up this Doll, despite it giving me the creeps.
And we have just what we need to get this door open. The Torch we made just a bit ago is the ticket through.
The next room is just what you see here.
And we already have what we need to get through this door.
Well, at least the Doll went for something good.
Then after that, it's just a simple matter of heading through this corridor and north.
Through this door and we are done here.
We rest up before the Trial, as usual. Even though we don't really need it.
And let's get this fucking thing done.
We start out here, next to an airship. It should come as no surprise that Cid's Trial involves airships.
As soon as we rise into the air, this guy approaches.
And here we find out the gimmick of Cid's Trial.
We serve as a fucking glorified taxi service, but we don't get paid. It's piss-easy and almost demeaning to Cid.
But, Cid is okay with it, so I guess I can deal with it.
Oh, yeah, there's also a time limit for how long we can take in getting the passenger to his destination. I hope you know your world map well!
Though, it's interesting to know that we actually do only take seconds (or maybe minutes) to get somewhere in the world when we fly around.
Oh, yeah, we also have to physically walk into the town, too. Just landing near it isn't good enough.
Maybe if you'd shut the fuck up, we'd be there already.
We start out by flying south.
We pass Mythril and find that the Adamant Grotto is no longer open. At least, in this place.
We hit Mt. Ordeals and then go west.
We make it outside of the town with plenty of time to spare.
Yes, they are. I'm sure someone in the thread can tell us just how fast, if they really wanted to.
Yeah, yeah, get the hell out of my face.
As this lady approaches, that brings me to another common thread of this Trial; most of the people are pricks.
And we have a White Mage to taxi around now.
Troia? Well, that's not so bad and sixty seconds is more than enough time.
Even Cid agrees and this man generally knows what he's talking about.
...I don't know if I will ever refer to him as the Cidster, but feel free to do it yourself.
Cid also says this at the end of each person's request.
Walking to the airship and lifting off takes time of the clock, too, which can make you feel a slight panic if you're not exactly sure where you're going.
I never realized that it took five seconds to lift off. Huh, you really do learn something new every day.
We fly off to the west to begin with.
After hitting this first mountain range, we head to the north. Now, this might not be the most efficient route to take, but it's the one I know, so if you're playing along, I can get you there no problemo.
We hit this spot after a while and keep going north.
Then, from there, it's just winding west and north for a bit.
Until we hit Troia. We have to enter the town here to complete this one and you can't enter the castle at all.
Inside, it looks like we dropped off an entirely different White Mage, but whatever.
Yeah, yeah, get out of here.
...Date? Unless your date is dying, I don't think that's why we dropped you off here.
Though, I could arrange that for your date and actually make you have to get him some medicine.
Cid's caught onto their bullshit, too.
But, there is shit going bad in Fabul, so we've gotta get the hell out of here, ASAP!
As do I. I already killed a ton of monks, and I'm willing to bet that they were far tougher than you will ever be.
Forty seconds? That's a little strict.
Gotta go fast!
We fly off to the east, as Fabul is pretty easy to get to from here.
We pass by this first desert...
...And then past another one. I think it might be part of the same desert; I can't recall off the top of my head.
Once we hit this desert, it's time to go north.
And viola! We're at Fabul, like it ain't no thang.
...We should shove that collection up your ass.
I like to think that Cid is contemplating hitting him with his hammer here.
But, the guy fucks off, so it's all okay.
And the Elder's blond brother comes asking for a ride.
He better have a good excuse.
Why the fuck aren't you there!?
Well...I agree here, so let's go.
Alright, this one is pretty tight and will probably be the one that has the best chance of fucking you on getting all of these perfect.
But, just fly west and keep your cool.
You'll wind up right here and land in the grass.
There might be plots closer to Kaipo to land on, but this is pretty good, too.
As it was a quick, five-second walk to Kaipo from there.
Okay, this guy isn't a prick like the others.
But, Cid doesn't stick to that sappy stuff for long.
And this little kid is our final fare for the day.
Agart is also pretty easy to get to, too.
Even though that time limit is pretty tight.
The walk back to the airship is probably going to be the killer here.
Take off and start going to the east.
Once you hit the mountains and grass, start sailing south.
And you'll come straight to Agart.
Finally, someone other than Gustav mentions that Cid probably saw dirt get invented.
Rough, my ass, Cecil. He fucking flew around in an airship.
Yes, let's. We have a boss to fight.
As we rise into the air, thunder suddenly crashes through the sky.
Man, I wonder who our Lunar boss is for this Trial.
Well, he's a condescending, smug prick, for starters.
Let's go beat him into submission.
He gets one hell of a fancy entrance, though. He's got some style, I'll give him that.
He's got 90,000 HP to tear through, and he absorbs Lightning, as could be expected. He seems to resist Throw damage, too, since Cecil's strikes do normal damage.
He also counters all physical hits with Thundaga against a random party member.
And it's got quite a bit of power behind it, too.
However, magic isn't a safe way to go, either.
As he'll counter that with Blitz.
Which does quite a bit more damage than Thundaga.
When he raises his stick, he's getting ready for his full-party attack. Also, he blasted Masa with another Blitz to lay him out like a punk bitch.
Also, with the Dragoon Gloves equipped, Bowser's Jump changes to Dbl Jmp, which is sweet as shit.
We'll see it in a second, because right now, Lunar Ramuh is pulling off his full-party Lightning attack.
Which...Jesus, that's pretty pathetic. I was ready to see the Thundaga or Blitz level of damage across my entire party.
Anyways, Dbl Jmp starts off just like regular Jump does.
But, he body slams them twice, for massive damage. Dbl Jmp is fucking awesome and entirely worth keeping Bowser in the party for, as if Abel's Lance wasn't already a persuasive enough reason. There's a damn good reason that he's never leaving the party again.
With all of that out of the way, let's just skip to the end of this fight. I decided to do it with style and blow his head off with a bunch of space rocks.
It seems to have worked just as intended. Perfect.
We get his Grimoire for our troubles, which weren't much. Aside from the constant counters, Lunar Ramuh doesn't have much going for him. As long as you keep your health high, you can just slug it out with him and you should come out on top.
After the fight, this small spark falls toward Cid.
I think it hit him in the back of the head. I'm not sure.
This is Cid's most ultimate weapon and you only get this baby for delivering all of the fares to their destinations on time without any fuck ups.
One last burst of thunder rocks the ship; apparently the space rocks didn't cut out his ability to blast lightning all over.
Oh, hell, this isn't good.
The screen just fades to black...
...And we come to, outside the Trial, no worse for the wear.
Dagnabbit is a word I don't hear often enough. I like the way it sounds.
We're fine, barring Cid's obvious disdain of his age.
He also goes back to party leader, as I've been doing.
Anyways, the Fiery Hammer raises his attack to 255, just like Cecil and Bowser, as well as adding +15 to all of his stats. Cid is now a great fucking wrecking machine, especially since the Fiery Hammer will occasionally cast Flare when Cid bashes something's skull in with it.
That's a nice looking stat sheet, barring that Agility. Cid is slow as balls and there's not much you can do to fix that. But, hey, he's going to hit the enemy like an anvil hits a coyote.
And with that, we're done with this update.
Next time, we'll do the last of the Trials, so stay tuned!