Part 79: Bonus - The Developers' OfficeBonus - The Developers' Office
After defeating Dark Knight, you gain access to the Lunar Depths, the second half of the final dungeon. So technically we're now in Part Two of the Final Tale, but I figured I'd go ahead and show this off first.
By reaching this point, we also gain access to some hidden place.
So you know those tails we've been carrying around the whole game? Now we actually get to trade them in.
First off is the Green Tail, which I chose as a bonus for snagging all 21 Small Tails in The Gathering. My reward is a Rare Band v2, which slightly increases the likelihood of rare drops. Probably not worth it, to be honest.
The Gold Tail from Edward's Tale results in a Gil Band v2, which has better stats and allows for even more money from battles. I don't know if both accessories stack, but even if they don't money is not a problem for me.
Now this is what I'm excited about. The limit ring lets one character bypass the damage limit of 9999. Otherwise, the only way to do so is through certain bands. This is mainly useful for black mages like Rydia and Palom who deal in high-damage attacks. Palom in particular could put this to good use for reasons we'll see later.
Upstairs is Tradingway, which is where we trade in our slabs of Adamantite for armor. Unlike the original, we can choose between Gloves, which requires 1, a Shield for 2, Helmet for 2, or the Armor for 3. Unfortunately, I only have one piece, and there's too many accessories worth using for me to blow it on Gloves. I might invest in the shield if I happen upon another. The Adamant Armor is still among the best armor in the game, so it's not a bad idea to stockpile on Adamantite in challenge dungeons and the like.
There's one more secret in this place.
Ladies and gentlemen, here are the bastards responsible for making this wretched game.
Akiyama: Thank you so much for playing FINAL FANTASY IV: The After Years all the way to this point! We're all huge fans of FFIV, so making a sequel that everyone would be able to enjoy kept us excited day in and day out.
So to thank us for "enjoying" the game, Akiyama gives us dwarf porn. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised at this point if the entire plot of the game came from porn magazines.
We'll battle this guy in a minute.
Dot Lady: Which character sprite did you like the most? Tee hee hee...
OK, let's kick Kuromaku's ass now.
Kuromaku: ...Huh? The chief wants me? Not again...
Demonichin: !!! How can you use black magic!?
Mad Vegan: Weird... I thought I could use white magic.
Cynico: It looks good to us.
Mild Ghost: No problems here!
Most of the developers here are rather weak.
Demonichin: Oh, whatever! I'll take care of this!
Cynico: Make sure you get it right!
Mad Vegan: If that's how it's gonna be...
Demonichin: I've got a great idea!
Cynico: Oh, no, not that! You coward!
Mild Ghost: You have to use your regular abilities on this!
The Developer's Room is nothing but inside jokes and utter nonsense.
It still makes more sense than this game's plot.
Imuimu is the most common random battle here. He's nothing special.
Ueno: Because when the time comes to act... A man has to move! Got it? That's what being cool is all about.
Niiyama: Oh! Oh, dear, that line sounded like it set off some kind of story flag, didn't it? Well, only one thing to do:
Ishikawa: Not that you can tell from this sprite...
Taniguchi: Oh, hey there! You feel like painting some pixels!?
Iitaka: Wish I could keep a cockatrice around the house...
Momiyama: We threw all kinds of Bands into the system... Bands we just sort of came up with, Bands that should look oddly familiar to many gamers. I hope you're getting a lot of use out of them.
Shit, I keep forgetting to use those damn bands. Seriously, I'll actually show them off soon, just probably after I actually finish the game so I don't keep getting more stuff to bog me down.
Matsuda: Cecil, Kain, Ceodore... This character, that character... All pigs! Seeing pigs floating in the Crystal Chambers was pretty amusing, I have to admit.
I don't remember whether the final rooms of the dungeon have a bunch of our characters' copies floating around doing nothing like the end of the Black Omen in Chrono Trigger did. It's kind of cliche by this point anyway.
Then again, he may just be referencing pigs replacing the Crystal sprites, which would be cool. I'd love to see pigs shatter.
Nah, I've heard enough horror stories about it.
Kurihara: No, you wouldn't... Playing games is far more fun than making them, believe me.
Then again, maybe I would find some enjoyment in it.
Kurihara: Really, now? Well, watch out. This stuff is rough...and it'll take years off of your life, too.
Shingo Narumi: Oh, uh, no! No no no! No problem! I'll do anything you need!
Wanchin: Oh... You aren't?
Wanchin: Get them!
Wanchin: Here it is! The ultimate fruit of our efforts!
Shingo Narumi: Hah! Now the schedule will be no problem at all!
Kurihara: We'll plot through 'em with our Delta Attack!
Kurihara: Wh-what!? Are you serious? I've already cast it!
Shingo Narumi: Whoooa!
Wanchin and Kurihara: Narumi!
Wanchin: Now you've done it, you!
Kurihara: You demon! You monster! You...final boss, you!
Kurihara just bites his tongue instead of attacking.
Kurihara: What're you people doing!?
Just another ordinary day in the life of a video game programmer.
Nakahara: Just let me say one thing before I go... The adamantine pig...lives!
The other random battle I ran into. This guy's the only remotely threatening thing in this area.
Nabeko: Doing PR for this game has been a great opportunity...not that the game needed any PR. It would've been a huge hit regardless!
Man, you got stuck with the worst job of all.
Kaoriko: Natsuko! Now's the time to use our technique!
Natsuko: Like, when you mess something up, or when something unbelievable happens... Or when the face of that guy (or character) across from you turns red at the sight of you...
Kaoriko: How I've dreamt of the day when that man calls me a pig, too!
...You gotta be kidding me.
Hey, the guy responsible for the music of this game! All the original music he's done so far has been good, all two pieces of it. Kind of butchered a couple of remixes for this game, though.
Ichiro Tezuka: *sniff*
We'll revisit this pot in a moment.
This is a major bitch to get to this cat. The pathways are intentionally misleading and lengthy.
Cat Lover No. 1: Whenever you see a cat on the street, you can't bear not to chase after it... Believe me, I know how that goes. I know exactly what you want to do, trust me. So go ahead. Get your cat on as much as you like.
This guy... He just gets me.
Since this pot smells bad, let's throw our pornography in here.
Game Designer: And this...this was my very own copy.
He says this after attacking him once. Upon killing him...
Now, you might think this was useless. The guy almost always drops Lustful Lali-ho upon defeat.
However, there is one item in particular I am hunting for.
See this baby? It adds 50 MP to your maximum. Not 10 like those fucking Soma Drops, 50. And I have two of these things now. Now Palom or Rydia can be a nuking machine. Now Kain can actually have enough MP to buff the entire party.
This is why I've been hoarding as much dwarf porn as I could. Granted, all I had were the two freebies, but hey, dwarf porn is dwarf porn.
So that's the Developer's Room. Next time, we begin the last part of the game proper, and thus begin the carnival of horrors that await us there.