The Let's Play Archive

Final Fantasy IX

by The White Dragon

Part 60: Lunchbreak






From the TV!


Yup no idea what is even going on here


"Why did we have this turret built with suits of armor that block you in as you scale it, this is terrible design"










Well that it isn't a final dungeon tower, I don't know what is.


Well you had an epileptic seizure every time you tried going somewhere else, it's not like you really had much of a choice


"No... I can't depend on them anymore!
As the queen of Alexandria, I must protect my kingdom.
"

At least you can't say they made Holly into a helpless character. Just a very unlucky one who nothing ever goes right for.


"ALL RIGHT KAWELO LET'S RUN TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHIP NOW!"
"Shoots"
"WILL YOU TWO STOP THAT"


"If you can't take it, maybe you should just hop over the side. Just like your other black mage buddies way back on disc 1 "




"holy shit is that just a clipping error or is light exploding out from inside of you"


"This light...
Maybe it's the Holy Judgment!
"

That was the one big thing that really irked the fuck out of me in playing Radiant Historia: they used the word Judgment a whole bunch of times, but it was spelled Judgement EVERY SINGLE TIME. Maui Boy Zach Meston I trusted you

Can't really remember where, probably some random interview I found years ago trying to news about Working Designs' collapse, but it was a cool interview about how the guy grew up on Maui. And then he said "Lahaina Starcade" and my first thought was "hahaha yeah haoles all live in Lahaina" Still a cool thing to learn when you grew up with one of those Big Book Of Nintendo Games guides that was secretly ghostwritten by the guy, or that you and your nerdy friends all enjoyed the Vanguard Bandits strategy guide without ever knowing the guy was from the same island as you.

As one of my boarding school friends from the island of Hawaii put it, "small world, big island."






"ALLAHU AKBAR"


LENS FLARE

they should totally make an ultimate spell in a game someday and just call it LENS FLARE




I, too, hope to someday own a giant piece of light-producing zirconium.


"MAKIE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FOREHEAD?"
"I HAVE MALE PATTERN BALDNESS "


"Get away from me I don't wanna catch your receding hairline"


"IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW"








"We need to get you checked into an institution when this is all over"


"The light of destiny? Is that anything like the spear? Because I had so much trouble with the Satan Hitler Boss back in the day"
"A summoner's light of destiny, brought on by the hidden powers of the 4 jewels.
This light appears when a holy eidolon calls for its summoner.
Come on, Holly! As summoners, we have to fulfill our destiny!
"




this script is like straight out of fantasy lesbian porn




fantasy lesbian nun porn










At this point I got hungry and got some lunch.







































































and everyone died


FINAL BOSS


A game where a castle with angel wings is the final boss

would be the only time a final boss with angel wings would be acceptable.


it's like patticake for retards










MAGIC ORGASM




no i was kidding






There's a euphemism in here somewhere, but I refuse to touch it.




"I've called a magic carriage for you. I'm sure you'll like it."






aw fuck it's god again, that guy is such an asshole




"I have granted you the freedom to do as you wish in Gaia for one purpose alone."






"But first, I must use the restroom. I knew I shouldn't have had that extra spicy burrito."








HE CAN'T BE WHAT?


the correct answer is "as fabulous as kuja"