Part 69: Insert Obligatory Sex Joke

Yeah, mine has the Thunder tooltip and it was bought in November, even though I didn't get to play it until Christmas. FF9 came out in 2000 anyway, even in Japan (though they got it in July).


No, I'm not classy. You'd think one would know this by now.




We begin our update today rounding out Iz's Blue Magic library.


Also this place really drives the point home that moles used to live here. I honestly have no fucking idea what this is meant to reference, because this sure ain't Breath of Fire IX.








I really hate you sometimes, game.

The Vepals you fight in Mount Gulug have an ability that makes them immune to elemental magic. They like to use it after you've already issued a summon command. Faaaaantastic.




Anyway all the Moogles in this area are crucial to completing the Mognet sidequest on disc 4. You can't come back here once you finish the third disc, but since it's just a sidequest, I can't consider this a Dick Move.


The idea is that you can miss a certain number of deliveries critical to the completion of this sidequest while still being able to complete it, but there's like three or four Mognet Moogles in this area alone, which either puts you dangerously close, or just straight-up over, the amount that you can miss.


Now, I can't really quite remember why I got this screenshot. I think it might've been to show off some of the architecture, but I'm pretty sure it's because Gaia Gears are a horrible reward for having gone all the way out here to get a shitty treasure.


Anyway, this is on my way back. This is more about the moles


and that is one ugly motherfucker.

RED DRAGONS are not-bosses that have infested this area. They only make scripted appearances, so once you've fought all of them, you aren't getting any more.

I can't consider them minibosses for reasons we'll address in a couple of images, but they are important because they are one of only two (possibly three) enemies in the game that can teach Twister to Iz. Twister is a horrible spell because its formula is largely random, but if you're a completionist, this is the easiest way to get it.

Your alternative is to eat a boss, which you may or may not actually be able to eat, or a rare encounter monster on the second- or third-to-last screen before the final boss. Yeah.




i really do not want to think about what this item that these furball creatures rub all over themselves is


If you haven't been reading the bulletins around this area, the "trick" here is to kick this lever three times.


It drops a bucket down to the bottom of an empty well so you can climb down this rope.




DRAGONS DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT >8U














Red Dragons can't be minibosses because they are vulnerable to instant death attacks


oh no


i've stumbled upon a gamefaqs convention






"I know. We all know how you feel."








--wait what




"I don't want to hear excuses!




"I need an eidolon more powerful than Alexander!
An eidolon with the power to bury Garland!
His powers are so incredible; I cannot even come close."


something tells me there is more at work here than kuja trying to achieve war criminal levels of dickitude


"he is so full of it"
"dude we can take him"
"hell yes let's do it"




"oh curse our attention deficiency"




if you cut off the pompom

its soul dies




"Mog, what are you saying?"










Problem: when you have flat pixel objects, ePSXe really knocks the ball right out of the park making sure you know there are some faking-it pieces in an animation.

I mean seriously those are Suikoden 1-style rocks.

Man, Suikoden.

Who knows, maybe I'll just say fuck Vagrant Story and do Suikoden Marathon 1-3 after this instead, haha. Screw 4 and 5, and even a part of 3, that series just tanked and became modern-anime-bad after the lead designer left.




moogle fursonas work the exact same way as people fursonas







The battle theme continues to play here, and it's pretty effective.


"Don't worry. I'll always watch over you, kupo."




"I never knew that Mog was an eidolon."




The Ribbon, of course, teaches Madeen--that is, Terra Homing--to Makie. It also substantially raises your stats, but its resistances are pretty lackluster so once you're done grinding your hidden level bonuses with the Ribbon, it's time to retire it for a Protect Ring.




no were you even fucking listening it was an eidolon in disguise you shit


"It's not the desire to live, nor is it the desire to protect another!"


"That means... I simply need a powerful soul, even if that soul is not my own!"








Kuja has the best poses.


"Of course, they're really not twins at all..."




what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck




Well now that's just disgusting.

Virus is a not-Zombie status effect that sets your EXP gains to 0. Unlike Zombie, you can still generate Trance, but you also don't receive AP after a battle. This doesn't apply to me because I'm pretty sure I mastered everyone's abilities thus far while grinding Grand Dragons, but I still hate seeing the post-battle summary with darkened-out characters.


hair of the dog i suppose

But if you were smart and bought Vaccines from their airship earlier, you don't even have to worry about this anyway.






See, I told you guys about Twister.






I was just too lazy to use those Vaccines. Oh well.




"He said that our life spans can't be extended, and that we were fools for believing him.
They were so shocked to hear it, they're all sitting down over there.
Kilika! What am I supposed to tell them!?"







NEXT TIME

KUJA'S FABULOUS TRANSFORMATION