Part 25: La Fin Absolute du MondeChapter 18: La Fin Absolute du Monde
What! How! How did he—where did—AAAAAAAAAAAAH
Elly, please don't gibber. It's unbecoming.
You didn't pass us! No one's been up here before! How did you get here?!
Oh, I've always been here.
Now you're just messing with us.
I'm really not. I mean, I've been keeping an eye on you, but I also hang out here. It's kind of like watching TV!
What is tee vee?
Oh, right. You guys haven't invented that yet. Forget I said anything.
What is going on! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
You probably have, with all those steroids you chugged.
Hat Guy is here first.. Has already wished?
Hahaha! Oh, Trog. You're an endless fountain of amusement. All of you are, really.
Well, thanks! But we still don't know how you got up here without passing us or breaking seals.
Oh, it wasn't easy. Bi-location isn't as simple as it was in the beginning. There's so many things to keep track of now...
Bi-location? The existence of one being in two places at the same time? It can't be done. Even with the strongest of magic!
Well, sure, for you. It'd be a lot more possible for me if I didn't have the constant chatter.
Chatter? What say?
Treasure, save their life, that sort of thing. Every now and then you get a "thank you." That's always nice.
What are you even talking about?!
I'd think you of all people would know, Elly, as much as you take my name in vain.
Hat man want to go to top first. Why tell?
As far as I'm concerned, this is a friendly competition. I want to see if you'll be the first to make it there.
Well, you never told us your name, so we kind of had to make one up.
Oh, that. Sorry, I have a lot of aliases in a lot of places. I try not to give out my real name. It makes things a lot easier.
Ah. You're a thief.
That's somewhat of an oversimplification.
Hey, let me ask you something.
Do you ever get the feeling climbing this tower that we're... I don't know. In some sort of game?
No, I don't believe I've ever felt that. You?
I really wasn't lying. I've been called so many different things in so many places that I don't even remember my real name anymore. "Hat Guy" is just as good as anything else.
... oh. Oh my God.
But—But that means—
Allow me to be the first to say...
Surprise! Hat Guy is God. No, seriously. He's God. Not a god, but capital-G God.
Take a moment. Sit. Breathe. Have some water. I'll wait.
I normally wouldn't interrupt the flow of the story at such a crucial point, but this is the single biggest twist I've seen in a video game that isn't named Silent Hill 2, and the fact that it pops out of this graveyard of dead space and horrible translations is just jaw-dropping. It's just so incredibly well done. You bumble your way up the tower, getting advice from this guy in a hat who's surely just an NPC hint delivery system. The entire time, you see these fleeting references to a "Creator." A casual reference in the Paradise subzone. A brief mention in the lab subzone. And then, you finally get to the top, explore this huge empty zone in Paradise, find the bridge... and bam. The reveal.
This right here is one of the main reasons I wanted to do this LP. The whole thing just leads up to this one perfect moment where everything comes together and you realize what's been going on. It's why, despite all of its many flaws, Final Fantasy Legend is easily in my top five* favourite video games.
* The others are Silent Hill 2, Super Mario Bros 3, World of Xeen, and Super Nintendo NBA Jam. That last one may seem weird, but I can't hear you over the sound of Patrick Ewing dunking directly on your head.
You're God. Literally God. Big-man-in-the-sky-looking-down-on-you God.
That'd be me!
At any rate, the legends are true. You made it to the end of the game. You get a wish.
Go ahead, ask me for anything. Anything at all! I'll make it happen, even if I have to bend the laws of nature until they scream.
Still pondering the mermaid bit?
You gotta admit, it's pretty appealing.
What God need with tower?
I... I beg your pardon?
Is powerful. Could visit at any time. Why tower? Why make climb?
Are... are you questioning my decision?
Trog just wonder. Have no answers, maybe?
Last I checked, I didn't have to justify my decisions to mortals. What, you think you can do better?
Wha—Of all the nerve! Trog has been a stalwart companion through and through. Why would you say such a thing to him? Badly done, sir, if I do say so myself! Badly done!
Monster, you best take the bass out of your voice when you address me.
You see? No manners whatsoever.
Yeah. God's kind of a dick.
Trog mean no offense. Is just wonder. Why game? Many compete for wish. Many die.
Ugh, fine. I'll humor you. Yes, the tower is a game I created.
...determination meant. So, I created Ashura to see what people would do.
You did what?!
...wasn't meant to cause that much damage! He always gets away from me, no matter how well I put him together. You'd think he'd learn to cooperate after all these years.
So... it was all a game to you?
...creature, one that was seemingly unstoppable. Your kind always responds best when challenged with the impossible. Besides, it worked, didn't it? The four of you didn't even know each other until I put the idea in Rezen's head.
Hey! You didn't put anything in my head! I came up with this on my own!
No worries. Keep the hankerchief.
I don't know why this always happens to me. I just want to find a place where I can be happy.
It's a big world, especially with the tower. Maybe your wish will be granted one day.
Meh. Let's face it, people don't just hand out wishes.
And what if I told you they did?
I'm sorry, just trying to cheer you up. Come on. I'll see you home.
Thanks. And... let's never talk about this Christmas party again.
Yeah, well, that's not how I remember it.
Yes it is.
Yeah, that's how I remember wait what did you just do
Whatever I want, which is precisely why I'm baffled you three are so hell-bent on angering me. Elly, please. You're the rational, level-headed one. Can you talk some sense into your friends? The faster we get through this, the faster we can get to dinner.
You son of a bitch!
You used us! You used everyone!
I'm in charge of everything, aren't I? It's my right.
We have names! We have lives! What about the people Su-Zaku killed? What about the people that died because of Ashura? You could've saved them!
..a fight with me. Even for you four, that's real, real dumb. Oh well...
You could've had a wish. Anything in the world. Anything outside this world. But sure, throw it away.
We want no favors from so callous a deity. You can keep your wishes. We'd rather have our integrity.
You guys still don't get it, do you? What are you going to do, go home? You know I'll still be up here, right? It's really, astoundingly stupid to make an enemy out of me. I literally know where you live. All the time.
So you get to lord over us just because no one can stop you? What kind of shit-tacular demiurge does that make you?
What did you just call me?
It's some dumb word we picked up on our way up the tower.
Yeah. Ryu-O said it was the Great Calamity. Sayaka said it was a name for people who lord over others, just because...
...they can... just because... no one... can stop...
You're sure about this? Complete control over the guards and the king?
Oh, I'm quite sure. All you have to do is keep the shield out of other people's hands.
You ask a lot of questions. Are you in or not?
Hell yeah I'm in!
I don't need your help! I'm powerful now! I'm a dragon!
Oh, believe me. I'm not questioning your power at all.
But the others... I mean, I don't want to get anyone in trouble. And I haven't heard anything. But don't you ever wonder... I mean, the way Ryu-O looks at you... What does he say when you're not in the room?
My God, he's right! Sir! Come take a look at this!
This harmonic signature! It could power the whole city! However did you find it?!
Oh, just dumb luck, I suppose...
It was you! From the very beginning, it's always been you!
Do what now?
He's the Demiurge!
...I hate that name.
Then friend Elly is right?
I hate it. HATE IT!
From the way you've been behaving, it suits you.
You don't know what it's like! None of you do! From the very beginning, there's only been one thing wrong with this stupid, rotten planet. One thing I can't put my finger on. It's like an itch I can't scratch, for all eternity. How would you like if the only person in all of existence smart enough to know how to fix it is yourself?
Well... I guess that would kinda suck... but it still doesn't excuse anything! People died because of what you did!
Oh, I keep looking. Believe me. For six billion fucking years, I've been trying to figure out what the mistake was. I set up this tower and watched humanity throw itself at it, one party at a time, in the hopes that great conflict would cause one of you peons to figure it out for me. I still have no idea how or why you kept coming. It was like friggin' flypaper. Then, you four assholes show up, and I get all excited your wishes would show me what needed to be fixed—and you screwed that up, too. It's unbelievable. Out of everyone in the universe, you're the first ones to get here. I'm shocked you can even tie your shoes without falling down and breaking your necks.
Is not easy. Sometimes Trog need helmet.
But even after all this, after watching the biggest boneheads in existence storm right up the tower where others have failed, after watching you blunder your way past every single trap I laid out... I finally figured it out. I know what's wrong.
It's you. All of you. Humanity is one giant goddamn mistake that should have never been made.
And I intend to rectify it.
Big boss music! Listen to this right now, it's rad
Meet the final boss! It's God. Good luck!
Befitting his status, Creator is probably one of the most ridiculous fight in all of RPGs. Oh, don't get me wrong. I've seen a lot of ridiculous RPG bosses in my time. Final Fantasy 7's Weapons, World of Xeen's Barkman and Megadragon, Final Fantasy 5's Shinryu, Bard's Tale's Soul Drinker... There are a lot of really nasty bosses out there that are a chore to fight, requiring an in-depth knowledge of the game engine and a lot of grinding to prepare.
You know what else they are? Optional. If you want to see the end of the game, Creator is mandatory. And, hoo boy, are you in for some tough sledding.
You vile sack of shit! I can't believe I ever loved you!
Oh, give me a break. I know everyone's thoughts, Elly. "Love" is a little strong for what you had in mind.
I am going to kill you!
Mad laughter is... not the normal response to being struck by a legendary weapon.
I think "normal" is pretty much out the window at this point.
For the first few rounds of combat, Creator gives you some free shots. Seriously. He'll just sit there and let you thump on him for a bit. This is not quite as beneficial as it sounds, as Creator pretty much has O-Everything. Obviously, this means non-elemental magic and Psi weaponry is the way to go. Except there's one small problem...
Is that all? Do you have anything else you'd like to try?
Sure do! Eat stab!
Oop! You'll have to be faster than that!
Gah! *swing* Stand still! *swing* Seriously, quit it!
Oh, careful! You almost got me that time! HAHAHAH—
Deus ex machina!
How you like me now?!
Rez, with her 60-70 agility, is not actually fast enough to hit God.
Fortunately, we have a backup plan, and it's actually the best one available. Squaresoft RPG vets are probably used to Flare being "That Spell That Isn't Meteo but I Guess It'll Do." Here, Flare is absolutely devastating. We've seen it before in boss fights, but we're now dropping 450 on the last boss in the game. If we had more than one mutant at this point, we'd be launching mortars nonstop.
But it only gets worse from here.
You think that cheap shot even fazes me? Come on! What else do you have?
Everyone! For the fate of the world, we will rally and win! Do you hear me, troop? We will win!
Wait. Did you just punch me?
Stick with what know, Trog say.
Creator doesn't like to take damage from non-ridiculous weapons. I won't quote exact figures because I don't have them handy, but little potshots of 180 max damage aren't going to get the job done here.
Especially since your free hits eventually run out, and then this starts happening.
I'm going to fix it! You hear me, mother?! You made the mistake, and I'm going to fix it! I'll be the greatest! Bythos will love me instead! ME!
Ho-lee-crap. God is nuts.
Keep casting spells, Rez! If he wants to die without a fight, that's not our problem!
What was that! What did he just do?!
Give a million monkeys a million swords for a million years, and one will eventually find its way up the tower. You four are absolutely pathetic.
Enough with the insults! This ends now!
Once the fight actually gets rolling, a number of things will happen. One, Creator's defense goes up—way up. (Flare and Psi weapons still work at full strength, though.) Two, he starts attacking with Light, Repent, Left, and Right. Light is a blind spell, which is annoying, but not exactly fight-ruining, as your swords are probably doing piddly damage right now. Repent is a paralyze attack and doesn't seem to connect very well, even with Trog.
Left, on the other hand, is the unnamed group attack you see above. I assume it means "left hand," because the right is far too powerful. Seriously. If Creator uses Right on you, you'll know it.
Oh, and he likes to do this, too.
Obnoxious. You're even quoting me now. Fiat voluntas Dei!
Now that's how you cast Flare.
Every now and then, Creator will decide to straight up nuke you with Flare. Just like when Rez casts it, it does about 300-450 to all of your party members and there's no real protection against it. You eat the damage and like it, then hope he follows up with Light or Repent instead of Left (or worse, Right). I can't emphasize enough how difficult this fight can get.
And it gets even worse.
He's slowing down! We're getting to him!
Elly... I think Trog's dead...
We must persevere! If we do not carry the day, neither Trog nor the rest of this world will be alive!
Heh. Your friend isn't coming back.
C'mon, did you really believe that mumbo-jumbo about Isis? The Aeons didn't know how good they had it. When I blew into town, I made damn sure they got run out on a rail. They aren't coming back.
Just what are you implying?
Your friend's dead. Dead dead. No hearts, no resurrection, no nothing. Nobody comes back from the dead unless I say so.
Then we will honor his sacrifice! Have at you!
Knock one over, and the rest fall down! It's just like playing with dominos!
Die, you fucking scumbag!!
Just when you get Creator down to his last 1000 HP, just when you're on the verge of victory and everything's going your way... that's when the gloves come off. He starts casting Flare every round. Every round. Just nothing but Flare, nonstop. Unless you know the game's bugged and you can take your party's stats over the on-screen caps, you have about 2-3 rounds to get the job done before you're face down in a puddle of your own melted head. And don't look to Masamune or XCaliber for hope, because Creator's defense jumps AGAIN, essentially shutting down all physical attacks.
I will say once more: This fight is difficult, even for a maxed-out party that isn't using exploits. Our group is a loveable bunch of rag-tag ruffians, but what they most certainly are not is maxed out.
Elly, don't leave me! I can't do this by myself!
Rez... honey... you've got to grow up sometime.
I can't... I can't do it...
You evolve to meet challenges. Out of all of us, you're the most powerful. You got this.
I love you, sis. Make us proud.
Alright, here's what's up. You're going to be my new Ashura. That's not an offer, I'm telling you what's going to happen.
You're gonna get me some new fiends. And when you're done, I'm going to wipe the rest of you ants off the face of this earth, and we're going to try something new. Beasts, cyborgs, robots... whatever I think up between now and then. When one of them finally gets here, I'm going to make them the new dominant race. And they better be a lot more grateful about it than you guys were.
So you best start training now, because having six arms takes a lot of time to get used to. Let's go.
...the saw is family.
The saw is family.
What are you talking about?
The saw is family.
What are you doing? Put that down! Put it down! No! NO!
The SAW! IS! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Hey, remember this?
Great, another weirdo weapon we don't know how to use.
I'm getting pretty fed up with weirdo weapons. Throw it in the sack, we'll ask somebody about it the next time we see a weapons shop.
Assuming not killed by it yet.
The "Saw" isn't a hacksaw or anything. It's a chainsaw, and it's an instadeath weapon with style. Unlike the Hyper, it's not guaranteed to hit; you still need to make an agility check to punch it through. However, when it hits, it kills. No questions asked. You just violently bisect your opponent and dance over their mutilated corpse.
And there's no immunity for it in the game. Not even O-Para.
For those of you wondering how a party gets through a fight with Creator, there's two options. One is to bring two mutants (and maybe a powerful spellcasting monster), get him down to his last 1000, and then unload with Flare and the Glass Sword before he nukes all of you down into your constituent molecules. Option two is the Saw, and it's usually the preferred way to handle this fight. If you're fast enough, you can recreate Texas Chainsaw Massacres 1, 2, and 3 before he even starts attacking. If it doesn't hit, just keep revving and try again. Unless your agility is the pits, it'll eventually go through.
I get a wish, right? I made it to the top of the tower. That was the deal.
So, here's my wish...
I want my goddamn friends back.
Hello? Is someone there?
My word. What happened?
Did friend Dente get license of glider hitting us?
Dente! Trog! You're alive!
Looks like. What gives? I thought the Big Jackass in the Sky said we wouldn't come back to life without his permission.
Well, I got wish for getting up here, didn't I?
Oh! Oh, Rezen. You didn't have to do that.
Yes, I did. And you guys aren't gonna argue with it. So there.
You're alright, kiddo. C'mere. *hug*
But what of the Demiurge? What happened?
Uh... yeah. About that.
God is dead, and we have killed him.
Shouldn't reality be falling apart right now? Fires, floods, that sort of thing?
I don't think the Demiurge was actually running things, Ell. Our whole world was just a sandbox for him to play in.
That foul creature manipulated entire civilizations for his own sick amusement. I, for one, will not miss him.
What is door?
Door there. What is?
Hey, it's one of those DOORS thingy! Lemme just push the panel here...
Master DOORS unit online. Please enter dimensional coordinates.
This must be how the Demiurge was able to track us as we climbed.
Huh. Do you get unlimited uses of it or something?
Affirmative. My brothers were cloned by Creator and Ashura from my circuitry. I am a private unit with a self-contained fusion source and unlimited uses. In addition, I am not limited to the space-time continuum of this world and can span multiple alternate dimensions.
Okay, didn't catch a single word of that.
Am I understanding you correctly?
Well, if we can go anywhere we want... where do we go to now?
I'm fed up with adventuring. This whole thing was just a game for some mad deity. I don't know about you guys, but I want to go home and live my actual life. With the Demiurge gone, we might even like it.
Agreed. Besides, I miss my spouse terribly. I couldn't possibly leave this world behind in good conscience.
Trog is wanting talk to lady who smells good!
Yeeeeeaaaah. Before that happens, I need to tell you something.
You could say that.
Rezen? Come on, honey. Let's go home.
You guys... I love you to pieces. I do. I'd really, really like to come back with you.
It's like you said, Elly. I'm powerful. I'm just going to get more powerful as time goes on. At some point, I need to grow up.
Rezen, I didn't mean...
Don't you see? There's others like the Demiurge out there. In other dimensions. Other worlds. People are suffering and dying on on the whims of some jerk with unlimited power and a lot of free time. I can't look away from that! Someone has to do something!
Rezen... just when I think I've discovered the limits of your wonderful heart, you surprise me a little bit more. I consider you the daughter my spouse and I never had, and I wholly respect your decision.
Hey, door guy. You work both ways, right? She can come back whenever she wants?
Then why are we sad? Rez'll be back eventually. Right?
You know it!
I mean, you better. I know where this door is. Don't make me come find you.
Is settled, then. Friend Rezen continue on. For great justice!
Goodbye, you guys. It's been wonderful. Thank you for everything.
Not goodbye, Rez. Just see you later. For now.
And I mean it! No "whoops I came back and you're sixty" or anything! You come back soon!
See you then!
Heckuva story. But... all things have to end.
Guess there's only one thing left to do, then.
Coordinates locked. Ready for travel.
...29 to go.
Next Time: Epilogue