Part 13: Fuck the Veldt and everything in itAUDIO: The Veldt
and also Bruce's theme because I didn't post it last time.
So, yes, the Veldt.
The Veldt is kind of a giant museum for enemies you've encountered. If you've fought it, chances are it appears on the Veldt. Randomly. Because we don't want this to be easy or anything.
There are a few reasons you'd want to come here even if you don't have to, but most of them suck, so we'll head straight here instead:
Mobliz, a cosy little village that... co-exists with the world-destroying monstrosities that will be crawling all over this place as soon as I've actually killed some.
They're rather cut off from the rest of the world, obviously, since no one in their right mind would actually visit this place.
That old man has lost his marbles. They say he threw out hs own kid, thinking he was some kind of monster!
I'm sure that's tragic and all but I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell any random person who visits the village about it.
Also, here we can finally buy those claws Matt has been wearing (but never using) since the moment he joined the party!
Steal isn't completely useless, just... most of the time.
NPCs will also tell us about how there's a kid living in the wild (we may have seen him already) and that he likes dried meat. The item store sells dried meat. I'm sure you can make the connection.
I tried to flee, rather than help them attack Doma, but they came after me... I barely escaped alive.
Now I can't even move. I'll never see Lola again...
There's a letter on the desk. Would you be kind enough to bring it to me?
The only thing of major interest here is this guy, and I'm using the term "major interest" lightly.
Not pictured: going to the table, picking up the letter, returning with the letter.
There are even more Imperial soldiers walking the streets of Maranda these days, but things are peaceful otherwise.
The flowers in the garden will soon bloom, and announce the arrival of spring.
How are you doing? I'm worried. I so wish that I could fly to your side and be with you!
Please think only about getting better, and try not to push yourself too hard.
Rest knowing that I spend every day thinking only of you, and wishing I could see you...
Because we are heroes and this is the kind of things heroes do, we're going to send a letter.
Postage to Maranda is 500 gil.
Just for that, I'm looting your house.
While waiting for the letter to reach its destination (by carrier pigeon), we'll poke around some more.
She's talking about these two, but they're too busy fondling each other in public to talk to us. Ugh, teenagers.
So, those letters. Each time you send one, you'll get a reply if you sleep at the inn or talk to specific NPCs, such as the storekeepers.
And of course...
Potion! I don't think she loves her mother very much.
I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please, accept this as a token of my appreciation.
...and finally the quest is over.
The reward is a "tintinnabulim", a relic that heals the wearer for stamina/4 HP per step. It's a goddamn filler relic.
Anyway, we need to pick up the little shrimp we encountered earlier, and since I already know where I'm going, I'm going to spawncamp this cave.
Come on, you little bastard. I know you're out there.
Bruce appears randomly after you end an encounter here.
Personally I'm tempted to just drop him on his head...
...but I'm going to toss him some dried meat instead.
Bruce starts wandering around and blinking and comes to a stop in front of Matt.
What a... peculiar child!
I am MrThou, and this is Matt.
You Matt... you MrThou...
Me want more food!!!
You go... get more for me.
And you... afraid of me!
Me not want hurt you...
Matt and Bruce start bouncing around like idiots.
You're pretty tough... for a little guy!
That fun! You strong!
They bounce some more, but this time Bruce stops halfway through and Matt finishes on his own.
For some reason, he thinks that's hilarious.
You fall for it! Fall for trick!
I wish. But we're not done yet.
And thou, o wild one... Who might thou be?
It's like a nightmare and I can't wake up.
You angry... me?
You angry... me?
...killed by a psychotic clown, yes, we know, you can say it.
Bruce not mean person...
Water under the bridge!
Let us not dwell on such things.
Sir Bruce, I have a feeling we will get along quite well.
Wilt thou join us?
please say no
...that's not a no.
Bruce give MrThou and Matt nice present, thanks for food!
What manner of rubbish do you suppose he's gonna give us?
Bruce's treasure... shiny, shiny!
Shiny, shiny, shiny!!!
...Can anything be THAT shiny?
Mr. Thou like shiny thing?
A shiny thing, eh?
Indy's gonna be jealous when he hears about this!
You've known the guy for like an hour and you already know him that well. And the thing is, you DO know him well. He's not exactly what you'd call a complicated man.
I'm not sure I'd call him "a man" to begin with.
Who Indy? He bad man?
Well... uh. I think what he does is actually legal in Figaro.
Maybe he try steal Bruce's treasure!
Only if the treasure is a comatose girl.
Well, okay, he'd probably steal it regardless; he'd just steal a comatose girl harder.
Indy? Well, he's...
Bruce starts spinning around.
Listen when someone's talking to you!
I believe he's trying to tell us something!
Fine... Well, what is it?
Shiny thing here!
Where Matt is, that Mobliz!
Raidou stand place river bring you...
Bruce stand... Crescent Mountain!
Moon-shape mountain! Shiny thing there!
We might as well see what's at this Crescent Mountain of his.
MrThou and Bruce walk off.
Why'd we have to invite someone like him along?
Yeah, I'm asking myself the same thing.
We leave you behind!
I told you before...
My name is NOT "Mr. Thou"!
And finally the scene is at an end. But wait! There's still a tutorial to sit through!
But hell, if you plan to ever use Bruce, you'll probably need it. Rage is... complicated.
Not complicated in the sense of "I'm in love with this person but they don't know it and I think they may prefer being friends so I'm afraid to tell them in case it fucks up our relationship" - that's baby stuff. We're talking there's a 160k help file on gamefaqs levels of complicated.
Meet "Kappa the imp". He is here to make you less confused. People used to think he was a secret character.
He's not. Point and laugh.
1. Choose "Leap," a command that appears only when you are on the Veldt.
2. Keep fighting on the Veldt, and eventually Bruce will reappear.
3. When he reappears, he will have learned the attacks of the monsters you were fighting when he leapt, as well as those you were fighting when he returned!
4. Choose "Rage" to have Bruce use any of the attacks he has learned.
And now, please continue your quest.
Kappa leaves out a lot - it's more than just attacks. When raging, Bruce also takes on the characteristics of the monster he's imitating. He'll get elemental and/or status protection and weaknesses as appropriate, and there's a 50/50 chance that he'll use a regular physical attack or the monster's special skill every time his turn comes up, but you can't control him while he's doing it. Basically, it's what the Berserk status wants to be when it grows up. Also, it's annoying because you have to hunt down all the monsters on the Veldt. And the Veldt hates you.
I mean it. Seriously, it's sapping my will to live.
Which is why I'm ready to leave right this instant, because fuck Bruce, fuck Rage, and above and beyond everything else, fuck the Veldt.
And where exactly might it be found, Sir Bruce?
I think they actually took HP damage there.
Shall we look around?
It seems we have no choice!
C-could this be Sir Bruce's treasure!?
*sound of something falling*
kill him Matt
you know you want to
there are no witnesses
curse you MrThou
All right. For real this time.
Is this it?
The shiny treasure?
'Tis nothing but a dirty glass bowl...
Kind of looks like it would fit over your head...
Hmm...! I wonder if we could use this!
It might let us breathe underwater.
All right, let's go!
Good idea. I suggest letting Bruce test it before putting yourself at risk.
The party takes the path directly to the south...
Hey, this place looks familiar.
But it's the only way to make it in time to meet up with the others...
Look at Bruce, being all funny. Laugh at him.
Exactly like this.
All right, let's go!
He and MrThou jump off. Bruce waffles about for a few moments, then, just to show how much this game hates me, jumps after them.
Welcome to the Serpent Trench. It's like the raft ride before: you slide along automatically...
...get into the occasional random battle...
...and choose your path a couple of times.
Taking the right path the first time leads to a cave with an X-potion (full HP heal) in it; picking the right path the second time...
...leads to a new hat.
...the party washes up on the docks of Nikeah.
Before anything else, I'm heading for the pub because I need to drink until I can pretend Bruce doesn't exist.
Well, that works, too.
MrThou doesn't seem to agree, though.
Hey, do you like these? I call this one Humpty, and this one Dumpty!
Th-thou art unaffected by these... charms!?
One of hte benefits of all my years of ascetic training!
"Also a side effect of my being gayer than a handbag full of rainbows."
"A fuchsia handbag."
...*rant*... *rant*... *rant*...
...I don't think I'll be getting that drink.
Yes. This place is full of dancers, children and lunatics.
I wonder if the others arrived safely...
I am sure they did.
...and on that note, this episode draws to a close.