Part 44: Fuck the Soul Shrine foreverSo, we heard there was another challenge waiting for us.
West of Mobliz, was it?
I actually hit the right island on the first attempt. This is the first and only time during this update that I've actually saved some time!
At least this time it doesn't ask us for extra parties, just drops the current ones here, which looks exactly like the entrance to the previous dungeon and I hate this place already.
Recycled assets! From MrThou's dream, this time.
Well, at least it's not a cave. Let's see what the generic ghost sprite has to say.
The only way to quell their blind anger is to defeat them in combat and put them to rest once and for all.
If you so desired, you could attempt to face them...
Oh, I smell bullshit. So much bullshit.
Once the battle begins, they will attack you relentlessly, one after the next...
And if you leave this shrine even once, any souls you defeated will rise again. They do not stay at rest for long...
It will be a very long and difficult battle. You had best make sure you are prepared.
even if I kill them all now, it won't matter because they'll be back again anyway
Let's get it on.
The Soul Shrine is a sequence of 128 battles broken up into 10 waves. You can't do anything but kill shit while you're doing each wave, but you can heal up and switch equipment between them... but not leave the shrine, because fuck you.
No, seriously, there appears to be no other reason than "fuck you".
These early battles are here for no other reason than to pad out the number of fights to a nice round (and ridiculous) amount.
Most of them are just "murder, move on", but...
...there are some that stand out.
Aw, you're such a cute little... thing... uh... anyway, sure, you can have a hi-ether.
Don't mention it
it's a fucking hi-ether, they don't grow on trees
You little fuck.
And then he starts spamming "Punish" which is... an instant death attack.
And never seems to miss.
He finishes with another instant death attack when you kill him.
Take it, Robin, you've earned it!
It's a simple matter of triple-casting Arise (for a total of 3 MP) to get everybody up to speed again, and hey, look, remember these things?
I knew there was a reason I kept a water scroll around!
At least they're slightly more powerful now...
I have no idea why this one is the final boss in this wave. It's pathetic and goes down in one Ultima.
Nine to go!
That's the chest monster from the floating continent, and they both drop Sasukes - in case anyone actually cared.
I certainly don't.
There was a time when Intangir's 32000 HP and meteor counter would have been frightening.
I'll feed you half a dozen Ultimas, how does that sound?
This one counters with a bunch of physical attacks before it goes down.
I don't even recognize those things!
Didn't I already tell you to fuck off?
Are you seeing a theme here?
Because I think I'm seeing a theme here.
Robin has 600 MP and your monsters are dying in droves, you're going to run out of fodder before I run our of MP! You pathetic excuse for an optional challenge!
Oh, I know what you're thinking. "But vilkacis! You don't have to show us every pathetic encounter with weakling enemies that die in one hit!"
Shut up, if I have to suffer through all of this then so do you. Onward!
Are you tired of this yet?
I know I am!
Fortunately these are the nice pot-creatures that don't demand rare items. I hear there's something Bruce could do with these but it wouldn't make him less worthless.
Oh, look, we're at the bosses now! Pity these weren't challenging even the first time we killed them...
These things don't even have souls! Why do I have to fight them again?!
boring boring boring
NO MEANS NO!
I don't remember you at all. If I killed you, you can't have been very memorable.
And that's that.
That wave, I mean. You didn't forget that we're only halfway through, right?
Mother of fuck!
None of these things are anywhere near as annoying as the glutturns. They have huge amounts of HP and they are huge assholes in battle. One of them even casts Ultima every round if you don't feed him elixirs! I'm starting to think I should have brought Gogo.
Remember how Galuf killed one of these all by himself in the coliseum while under the influence of AI?
So yeah, we're up to the dragons... again. Maybe if you crammed more of them into each encounter, it might not be such a waste of space and time?
Well, the Earth Dragon is not a waste of anything. Fuck yes, Earth Dragon, you are the best of dragons!
Sketching the gold dragon: a good way to... heal him by hitting him with lightning magic he absorbs. OOPS.
Skull Dragon has 1400 MP. Robin takes off 1000+ per Rasp. This battle takes one round without Quick fuckery.
Finish it by putting the red dragon on ice, and...
...we're still not finished.
Alfred learns Lv. ? Holy! I actually forgot all about that spell. It targets enemies with a level divisible by the "ones" digit of your money. If you can get it to 1, it will hit absolutely everything.
Why you would actually want to bother and set it up? Beats me!
Same creature as before, same behaviour as before, same loot as before. Extra Behemoth Suits!
I hope you like your double helping of pain, you smug little fucks! Now hurry and come back to life so I can kill you again.
...you are a random encounter, why are you here?
...actually kind of pathetic after all that I've been through since we last met.
(But you're still a dick.)
Look, I managed to capture Hidon's little helpers on camera this time!
Moments before they disappear. Hidon's still undead..
Here's the "boss" for this wave. Fortunately, only half my party succumbs to Lv. 5 Death! And then I heal them and murder Deathgaze because I'm about 8 times stronger now than the last time I saw him. That all you got, soul shrine?
Guess what we're up to!
I humiliate Demon by sketching at him.
I bait Goddess into using Quasar so Alfred can learn it.
And then do the same thing with Fiend and Force Field.
That was quick.
Don't be such a wuss, give me something that will at least pretend to resist!
It's... this again.
Oh, so that's his gimmick? Pity I already have a bunch of evade-ignoring attacks lined up, huh?
Ultima Ultima Ultima Ultima
Flood Flood Flood Flood
Rasp Rasp Rasp Rasp
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Not that light!
He kills himself.
All the dragons also drop the same stuff they dropped before, so you could have people dual-wielding their special weapons now if you feel like it. Except for Bruce, because he doesn't have two heads.
Oh, hi! How nice of you to drop in when I'm low on HP from the last lame gimmick boss!
But you know what?
It doesn't even fucking matter.
This is the reward.
A goddamn key item.
I'm leaving and we're never talking about this ever again.