Part 4: There's a Masturbation Joke in This UpdateChapter 4 - There's a Masturbation Joke in This Update
Rhodox has a weakness to Fire and innate Seizure now, making them even more pathetic despite their slightly higher HP. Rhinox is now weak to Water for some reason.
Anyway, time to talk to Banon.
Oh, this is the girl who ruthlessly murdered all those Imperial soldiers with no remorse?
Holy shit, Banon. Don't be such a dick right now.
Now let me shoehorn the Pandora's Box story in for no reason.
You guys look almost exactly the same and everything. Are you brothers or something?
Screw this, I'm going to bed.
Anyway, there's still Locke's "I lost someone to the Empire that caused my tragic backstory and my protection obsession," Sabin's "Edgar's an alright guy," and Edgar's "We don't want to force you to join us even though we kinda are" things.
This dirk boosts Vigor by 3 and does double damage to humans. A nice upgrade to Locke's other Mythril Dirk.
Blocks Imp, Mute, and Sleep, but also boosts Magic Block by 10, Magic by 5, and Speed by 3. A nice accessory for Terra.
I also buy a couple pairs of Goggles and a Star Pendant for the party.
That piece of paper that used to be there? Yeah...
As the hack said, there's no more Gauntlet or Genji Glove. So what items do you get?
Instead of the Gauntlet, you get the Jewel Ring. Blocks Dark and Poison, boosts Evade by 10, and boosts Vigor and Stamina by 3 each.
Instead of the Genji Glove, there's the Fairy Ring, which blocks Berserk and Muddle, boosts Magic Block by 10, and boosts Magic and Stamina by 3 each.
I went with the Fairy Ring because it's a bit more different, plus it was the second one I got and I didn't feel like resetting again to get the Jewel Ring for the run.
Alright, time for Banon's meeting.
So, the Empire wants espers to gather magic, which will end up recreating the world-shattering War of the Magi. So let's beat the Empire to Narshe and have our freak of nature friend talk to the stupid thing.
Well, when you put it that way...
Sabin's just happy to be there.
Locke goes to South Figaro, and then Banon joins the party in his place.
Banon is probably even more fragile now. The Thunder Rod would be nice here I'd imagine if he weren't spamming Health constantly. Also, Codpiece. Yeah.
Still Game Over if Banon dies.
The enemies are much sturdier now. Nautiloids went from 236 to 400HP and have innate Shell. Exocites went up a hundred HP as well.
Even Sabin can't OHKO these guys anymore. These battles are a bit longer now, which is a bad thing.
Health? Still good!
Albatross is at a whopping 500HP, with its weakness changed from Fire to Bolt. You also want to kill it quickly.
Or it'll do a multi-target Fireball spell which can kill Banon in one hit.
The Exocites will also use Plasma when alone, which will kill anyone in one hit.
It seems bullshit, but I also kind of get the idea here. You want to pull all the stops to kill these guys quickly before they use their powerful attacks. It actually encourages Sabin to use his still-awesome regular attack on the Albatross to ensure the thing dies more quickly rather than spamming Pummel on random targets.
It also helps me remember I have the Noise Blaster to help disable these freaks.
Ultros hasn't changed weakness/immunity-wise, but the Printme doesn't give HP values for bosses, so who knows if that's different.
The guy still likes Ink and Tentacle, though.
The big thing is that he's suspectible to Seizure, which helps a lot against him. It'd be smart to figure out if you weren't gonna spam Pummel constantly anyway. Maybe it's a helpful hint for future bosses?
I get lucky that he never single-targets a Tentacle on Banon.
So between my constant attacks and Seizure, Ultros goes down easily enough.
Looks like he escaped.
Screw that! I'm gonna beat it up some more!
How are you doing that?
Sorry, I'm not letting you guys choose this one since it's kinda pointless to anyway.
We'll go ahead and do this one today because it's the shortest, dullest, and most meaningless.
Spoilers, it's still easy. Sabin's gone, but Terra has no reason not to use Fire on these guys.
Also, these ravens use Nevermore. No clue what it does, though.
Anyway, secret entrance and all that.
Mechanix are up to 300HP, and Clawgrips have 400HP. They have the same weaknesses and immunities as their palette swaps.
Though the Clawgrip likes to counter tools with the HP-portion attack Lode Stone.
Yawn, boring "follow the light" puzzle. What a stupid security system.
Yawn, Arvis updating everyone on the state of Narshe and its neutrality.
What the hell are you doing.
And that ends this stupid scenario.
Next time, I'll cut to Sabin's, which will be much more entertaining.