Part 45: Damsel

Chapter 45 - Damsel




And on we go to Da-Chao.



While it's obvious that Da-Chao is filled with Asian imagery, I'd like to ask you to hold your thought.



Is that Buddha statue wearing a belt with bullets? Seriously.



By "we split" he means "me and Rude will just walk around doing nothing".

I'd like to develop on Da-Chao. We've seen that Wutai is based on a Chinese location. Da-Chao uses Japanese sculptures, more specifically those derived from Buddhism.



The statue that looks like Akuma is a Nioo (I believe). The concept is that while the other two Buddha statues are in a blissful pacific state, they're still vulnerable. Thus, anger is justified when used to protect good things from harrm, which is why you always see these status in one of these two states.



In this case, the angry statue is protecting the others.



OH GOD I'M INVISIBLE.

The battles in this place are against critters, mostly. Without a good supply of materias and with limited items, I try to avoid fighting here, even though random enemies in this place drop offensive items.



Being Buddhistic in nature, these statues are obviously not a design exclusive to Japan. They have their origin in India, but the concept is well spread over most Asian countries.



The mountain has some paths but it's nothing complicated. It kinda qualifies as a "dungeon" but it's fairly small.



The [Dragoon Lance] obviously is for Cid. It's also a reference to what his "Class" is. In this case, Cid is a Dragoon, a spear-wielding Class or Job traditional in previous Final Fantasies. Many of his Limits are also a nod to that.



The dark purple color in the Dragoon Lance is, I think, a reference to Kain, from Final Fantasy IV, a Dragoon Knight. Stat-wise it's from the group of "Strong Damage, lots of unlinked materia slots".



There's no way to extinguish the flames in this area for now. We have to turn around.



I didn't think anything I'm just randomly entering places.



Only one place left. Prepare yourself for a journey of mystery, emotion, etc.




















Wait what



Oh God no



Jesus Christ.



This is so, so very wrong.



For all the wrong reasons.



Don Corneo is easily the most disgusting character in the game, and one of the most disgusting I've seen in any game.



The guys nailed "horrible, horrible human being" very well.





It's fucking horrible.



The only appropriate reaction.





This is what I hear whenever Don Corneo says whee.







[Team Planeteers] go!



There's a certain aspect of surreality to all of this.



For example, right now these two girls are in a danger we can relate to. Anyone in that situation would be terrified. At the same time, we are in a world where people fall from 160 feet tall buildings and survive.



Nevertheless the danger is quite there, and it's coming from someone who happens to be very fucking stupid and of no physical prowess, simply because he's rich. And as much of a bad taste as this is, he's doing it for a completely mundane reason, with no special agenda in mind.



The whole sequence is hilarious to some, controversial to some, and downright offensive to others. I find it interesting because there's no gray zone in it - What Corneo is doing is played as downright bad, to the point where two enemy factions will ally temporarily to get him down. He's not glorified for doing it either - he's creepy, and the game treats him as such.



And mostly, I find it interesting because it shows that Cloud & co. are not above the system. This entire side-quest is a good reminder of that. They're stolen by a thief, betrayed, and now a danger is presented from someone whose only resource is money. They got severely side-tracked and all of them are dealing with serious consequences for being naive.




This is something I particularly enjoyed in older Final Fantasies. Things have consequences, and sometimes they're pretty down-to-earth.





Anyway, guess what! It's BOSS TIME!




Rapps is Corneo's newest pet. He's not a particularly difficult boss except for one reason - you're shit out of luck with no materias.

The enemies around Da-Chao can drop the powerful level 3 Materia-equivalent combat items, so this fight can be cheapened if you don't have the resources or limits.

I'm not gonna use the items against this boss though - I need these damage combat items for another upcoming boss battle. This leaves us with standard attacks and limits.

I'd like to apologize in advance, the next video came out a bit weird/glitched, I'm not sure what happened during the recording. I think it captured some other game or something.



His Aero3 is Brutal. The only reason I didn't give him a 5 to Attack is because there are many ways to mitigate that damage and his normal attack is fairly weak. You have plenty of room to heal it, but if you're not on the Back Row (which you should always be) like in that video - it can insta-kill you.

Anyway Rapps is vulnerable to Stop, to make up for the fact you're screwed. So yes, this is another boss vulnerable to Stop, and another boss we get to obliterate with ease.



Our reward is a [Peace Ring], which protects us from Confusion, but also from Sadness, Berserk and Fury.



You know, all the stat ailments we love.



Talking about that - I love Cloud's character, really.





Of course, this is - again - a trick question, just like the first time in the slums.



And just like the first time, it means we're tricked.



Yes, he turned them upside down. This is getting ridiculous.





They didn't censor the T, so I'm reading ASSHAT there



The great thing about Corneo is that he gets to you. I mean, I don't look at Sephiroth and think "man I want to punch him in the face".



No, people draw horrible fanart and write even more terrible fanfic. Don Corneo on the other hand is simply repugnant. There's no way to sympathize with him.



Cue awesome music.




There's something amusing about this situation -



He's only here because of us. Because he leaked the secret to us, which allowed us to live.



And to add to the fuckedupness of the situation, the Turks allied with us to take him down. So it's a full circle.



You'd think that if he wasn't a humongous idiot and didn't kidnap Elena this wouldn't happen, but Elena was kidnap for personally hunting him in the first place. He was screwed from the start, it just happened that this bizarre triangle ocurred on top of it.



RUDE OUT OF NOWHERE



Pro knife-tossing skills

Wait, that isn't working?



Alright guys, listen.



This is the most fitting awesome ending to this arc possible.







IN YOUR FACE



You know.



We're about two updates away from the game going turbo-crazy and shit start happening.



This sidequest is a good change of pace, because as soon as we're out, shit starts to get real. All the things that happen post-Midgar are kinda a setup for what's coming next, starting two/three updates from now.



I'm sorry, there's just not much to say over this. It's simply awesome. Why is it awesome?

1) Because it's awesome.

2) Because the Turks are smooth.

3) Because they manage to present these characters as badass without having to resort to commonplace anime stereotypes.




* Cellphone rings *






Elena: "Was that the Company?"



OH SHI -





And with that another awesome quote, thus ends the greatest display of badassitude in the game. I would golden this quote but I'd really have to golden pretty much everything Reno says in this update.



Oh.

And that concludes the update.




Next time!

We're still not done with Wutai! MORE BOSSES! More Enemy Skills! Field encounters! Glitches everywhere! GOOD LORD WHEN ARE WE GETTING OUT OF THAT TOWN.