Part 3: Mani Katti (Or: Zack as God)FIRE EMBLEM DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OSTIAN PRINCESS
Chapter 3: Mani Katti
Remember how I said, last time, that chapter 1 is where this hack jumps the shark? This chapter is where this hack sort of implodes in on itself, thanks to its find/replace story. It never really recovers. Fun times!
So hey, remember how Lyn got the Mani Katti? Yep.
Yep. Trust me, the way they 'write' around this is amazing.
But first, Glass has been replaced with a debug placeholder face sprite that just says LOL over and over.
Believe it or not, this exchange is actually kind of funny, at least to me, because the priest's lines are exactly the same.
It leads to this sort of Lassie vibe.
Though maybe I'm just desperate for any joy at all.
Yeah, probably that.
No, wait, this line is new.
Anyway, the map itself is exactly the same, save for three differences. See if you can spot them.
Also, Axel moves up into range of the bandit, baits him out, goes a round with him (he dodges)...
And gets a pretty decent level out of it, in the sense that all I really want from him is Magic and Speed. Incidentally, the hacker didn't bother replacing growth rates, so Axel has Sain's growth rates. Meaning his speed growth is actually only 40%. While that isn't terrible, it's much lower than you'd expect from a guy whose speed is his main asset.
Also, this citizen. I'll go into more detail later, but I have absolutely no idea why he exists. The enemies refuse to attack him, you can't talk to him, you don't get anything for keeping him alive... it's really confusing.
Also, that Assassin down at the bottom. This is a humongous dick move, since while his stats are kinda shit none of our units have the luck to completely negate his crit chance. This is a problem, since the Assassin's instant-kill chance in the GBA games in half their crit chance. My best bet, probably, is to try and Brave Sword or Bolt him, but he doesn't seem to move unless a unit enters his range, and none of units can move far enough to get next to him from outside his range. So, basically, I have to roll the dice and hope I get lucky. Thanks, FIRE EMBLEM DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OSTIAN PRINCESS.
Also at some point this happened. Somebody in the thread mentioned that suspending and resuming makes the -- stats 31, but, I don't remember doing that, and his CON is still --. So I have no idea.
Naturally, I immediately go mad with power. :getin:
Oh. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Besides, 20 defense is still huge for Lyn's story. Wallace was a ridiculous tank in the original game for the last few maps of Lyn's story, and he only had 17. He's, basically, untouchable by physical units. Works for me.
By the way, someone in the thread also mentioned that the +7 HP thing is caused by Lilian's bolt tome. I can confirm this is the case. Which leads to a question: why the hell would you attach +7 HP to a tome that has 10 uses? And, since it's a brave tome, basically 5 uses?
Anyway, our new god, Zack, busts down the wall and gets attacked by a bandit. He laughs in his face.
This is just to show that the brigands here are dropping iron axes. All of them. We wind up with a ton of iron axes. By which I mean three, but still. Does this mean we'll be getting an axe user soon? Maybe we'll actually recruit Dorcas, wouldn't that be swell.
Of course, knowing this hack, Dorcas will replace Nergal and all the dialogue will be exactly the same.
Zack kills the other brigand and gets speed. I can't complain, since it'll help make up for his con. Which is apparently 35, but he's still weighed down by every weapon in the game. For its full weight. I don't know.
Ignore the fact that the brigand is alive, I had to do another run to grab this screencap since it happened too fast the first time. So, yeah, the boss moves, and steals Lilian's guiding ring.
Mercifully, he'll give it back when we kill him, but still. I'm going to assume that this is some sort of quirk in the AI for thieves, and not intentional on the hacker's part, but... it's like Mig64 never even playtested this. This'd be a huge dick move if we let him steal something else, since I really doubt there's a way to get another ring in Lilian's story, but eh. We can kill him pretty easy.
Like so. Lilian goes first, then Axel picks up the spare.
Now it's time for a true display of skill.
Zack baits out the Assassin. Mercifully, he misses his attack. Even if he does 0 damage, he still has a 14~% chance to insta-kill Zack, assuming he hits. Which is a problem, since he's the only guy in our party who isn't held together by paperclips and hope.
These unresized screenshots are just to show that nobody can talk to that random NPC. Seriously, it's like the hacker had an idea, then just forgot to actually program that idea in. Or they realized that programming said idea in would take effort, so they just said 'fuck it.' But then why leave this dude there?
Anyway, Lilian seizes the throne, and we're off. Pretty bland chapter here, really, but then again it kind of was in the original FE7 too.
Yes, she's dressed in the traditional fancy dresses and ribbons of the Lorca tribe.
Are you ready for this, folks? Prepare yourselves for the greatest handwave in the history of fiction.
My favorite part is how the grammar completely falls apart whenever the hacker bothers to insert new dialogue. Either the dialogue is unedited and therefore makes no sense, or it's new dialogue and therefore makes no sense. It's like a coin flip only both sides have 'fuck you' written on them.
Celica, Olwen, and Arthur, just to name a few.
Also, if this were its own thread, the subtitle would be "This Sword is Retarded."
Seriously though, there's no way English is the hacker's first language. I didn't leave anything out there, the line is actually "I think it waited too much for someone that it chose the 2nd person it saw." I'm not even sure how to parse that.
Oh boy, another sword for the guy with 0 con. How many does that put him at?
Also, this exchange is exactly the same as it is in the vanilla game, just with the find/replace job you'd expect.
Go ahead. Soak that screenshot in. We'll never be given any explanation for this. Here, I'll repost it.
Next Time: Marf.