Part 9: Chapter 7x: General Murdock
Murdock was an enemy in FE6. Guess what? He died.
Not that these sorts of plotholes are surprising, at this po- wait, is that the generic queen sprite? Who even uses that?
Oh. If you don't remember this lady, this is Hellene, the Queen of Bern as of FE7. In FE6, Zephiel had no Queen, and his mom here is never mentioned, so she presumably died of RPG Parentitis inbetween games. Or maybe Desmond killed her. Either way.
The funny thing is that for an incredibly minor and incidental character, Hellene got a lot of characterization.
She was petty and spiteful, detested her husband, and wanted nothing more than her son, Zephiel, to take the throne. But at the same time she seemed to sincerely love her son - the revelation that there had been an attempt on his life shocked her to her core, and as the party leaves there's a nice little scene of her promising that she'll be a better mother to Zephiel.
Murdock got a decent amount of characterization too, though in a pretty stock way - he was the standard 'honorable adversary' type.
The fact that they've both been shoehorned into spouting generic dialogue from FE7 that doesn't match their characters at all should come as no surprise.
And Mig64's seriously sticking with this 'Fang Units' thing. What? I'm so confused. Sometimes they call the Black Fang just 'The Fang', but Fang Units?
- Mig64's orders while making this hack
Also, why are Ninian and a random Assassin hanging around?
Oh, and now they're back with the group.
And Kin continues to have brain damage.
Again, nothing left out, mastery of grammar, etc. But here's the thing - that's a fucking terrible plan. The guys attacking from the front are probably gonna be taking the brunt of the enemy, right? And the guys sneaking around should both be facing minimal resistance and keep their numbers low so they can keep sneaking around. In other words, we're literally doing the exact opposite of what we should logically do. Fuck you, Enemok, this plan sucks.
Enemok isn't too hot statwise, either. Compared to Geitz, he's pretty sad - heck, compared to Jaffar, the guy he's a blatant knockoff of, he's pretty sad. Jaffar was level 13, but beats him by upwards of 4-6 in nearly every stat.
... Why does he have the boots on him?
Well, only one thing to do.
As a sidenote, this is the one Yes/No prompt Mig64 hasn't turned into Yep or NO!!!. It's a glorious reprieve.
Anyway, now that we've created this, let's assess the situation and come up with a plan.
This seems like a good team. Why are we bringing Natalie? You'll see.
Anyway, we set up our formation. Ninian's an NPC standing around for some reason, so I guess we have to protect her? Eh, she's in a closed off room, so it couldn't be that bad.
As a sidenote, I've always really liked Ninian's sprite, so I'm glad Mig64 didn't get around to turning her into a Dart recolor or something.
First turn, Matthew pops the door...
Wait, 'general?' And no portrait? I thought it was Murdock.
Oh, it is Murdock. He's just had his name replaced by 'General.' Maybe it's first name General, last name Murdock? Who knows.
Hrm, I could have Sephyz attack this brigand...
But I have an end turn command, now. I'm sure the poor thing's felt so neglected! I can help it out, right?
The enemies move around pointlessly...
And the brigand suicides on Sephyz.
Wait no stop Ninian what are you doing why are you moving ninian no
Don't worry, I'll save you!
I didn't save her. Also Murdock forgot a word.
Oh. Huh. I... dammit, now this gag is ruined.
Wait dammit I forgot Natalie had negative infinity defense no fuck
Okay, I realize I've used that 'went to play something else' gag a lot, but you know what? I saw that one coming. That one is entirely my bad. Ninian moving surprised me, but in the end it wasn't even what screwed me over.
Now, let's load a save and actually, y'know. save Ninian. And actually move Natalie.
But not before getting this entirely necessary and helpful hammer.
Sephyz nukes the thief.
Enemok moves forward, is played for by Axel, then...
I know this looks stupid and pointless, but I have a plan. If Enemok activates silencer, we're cool.
We aren't cool.
Uh, Natalie fries this guy? That's something.
This is clearly how she trained to be a Bishop in Elibian Nights.
Also, this time Murdock didn't miss his handaxe.
... Seriously, why the fuck does she move? Say what you will about Zephiel in Night of Farewells, at least he had the good sense to park his weak ass on a pillar! And could actually take a hit! And didn't rush towards the boss!
Did Mig64 even playtest this? If Ninian moving is beyond his ability to fix, why even have her on the map!? She contributes nothing except fucking over the player their first time through, and maybe their second time if they forget that player units can rescue NPCs. I mean, I get that not everyone is a programming wizard, but even if Mig64 was the best hacker ever this would still be retarded.
I don't have anywhere to go from this rant, and I don't wanna repeat that play something else gag for the third time, so here's a gif of Captain Noa Bright eating a hamburger.
Now, let's reset the timeline.
We only need Matthew, Lilian, Geitz, and Axel. Fuck those other clowns.
Matthew pops the door.
Axel plays for him.
He moves forward.
Geitz moves forward to attack Murdock.
Doesn't crit the second time, unfortunately.
Lilian bolts this dude.
May it rest in peace. Man, remember when Bolt seemed like the stupidest thing about this hack? Good times.
Murdock attacks Geitz and misses.
Geitz, however, doesn't.
... Wait, why did he drop Ninis's grace? Uh, I guess Axel can use this... maybe?
Ninian helpfully gets herself into the nearest corner.
Geitz kills the- wait, brave lance? And 36 HP?
... Why is this guy such a badass (relatively speaking)? Is he the son of the penta-axe general from FE5?
All the other mooks are still level 1-3!
Ah, well. Geitz kills a man.
Axel plays for him...
And Geitz smears his way to another kill.
Lilian uses the other bolt tome to kill this guy.
Matthew grabs the hammer, because why not.
And - wait what? Murdock? We just killed you.
How are you calling for reinforcements? You're dead!
THIS! IS THE FINAL BATTLE!
Then Geitz kills everybody.
Lilian helps too.
This is my favorite dialogue scene in the hack. For some reason.
Wait, what? In the original game, the guy poisons himself. Wait, how did Murdock escape? He's a six foot and some change giant of a man clad head-to-toe in armor. We seriously can't catch up to him?
This is it, folks. My favorite line in the hack. I don't really know why, but even now I can't stop laughing at it.
Anyway, join us next time for- wait, what?
Next Time: We fight another NPC from the actual games.