Part 154: Interlude: The Election, Round One
Election, Round 1Below are the candidates for the next President of Wrexham FC. Please vote for one. If a single candidate is above 50% after the first round, they will be president. Otherwise, the top two will move to a runoff. This round of voting will be open until Wednesday, August 20, at 9am EST.
Coco13 supports a philosophy of building through our youth team and not declaring war on the Soviet Union.
Coco13 posted:
Scene: An young girl, perhaps 8 years old, is outside of the Racecourse Grounds, surrounded by all of the hardware Wrexham has won. She touches each piece of hardware, counting
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 7... 6... 6... 8... 9... 9...
Suddenly, the scene freezes. As the camera slowly zooms in on the child's face, a metallic voice counts down from 10 to 0.
When it reaches 0, footage of a nuclear blast is shown. Over the fallout, I say.
These are the stakes. To make a squad in which all Dragons can win, or to go into the dark. We must either support Wrexham, or we must die.
Cut to white-on-black text as a man urgently says Vote for President Coco13 in January 2024. The stakes are too high for you to stay home.
Jenner supports a possession and defense tactical style, as well as our current policies of youth and preferably more Welsh players, and promises a sheep in every bed.
Jenner posted:
A disheveled drunken woman staggers onto the stage of a Tom Jones concert right in the middle of It's Not Unusual, she seizes the mic from the Welsh star to the ring of feedback.
[Slurringly] Y... y'should vote fer meee caush I'mma... I'mma clone Jushtin Bailey.
Tom Jones still recovering from the shock as security rushes the stage.
[Slurringly] An... an... everyone getsh a sheep, I'm like... fuckin' Oprah with sheep. You fuckers know who Oprah is right?
Security grapples with the woman as the crowd explodes into applause.
[Howlingly] WE'RE GONNA SCORE SO MANY TOUCHDOWNS!
Security drags her away to a standing ovation and Tom Jones resumes his show.
Style of Play: I and III, this is how you win games right?
Transfer Policy: C, D, some A but low priority
TheMcD supports defensive football, building through our youth squad, and becoming The United States of Wrexham.
TheMcD posted:
Style of play: III).
Transfer policy: A), D).
Country of origin: The USA.
Campaign slogan: Two is greater than one.
Ad:
FADE IN: A pub in Wrexham, standing empty with the exception of one young man standing at the oche of a dart board in the back, one dart in hand.
V/O: Over the years...
CUT TO: The last darts of Burnett vs. Barneveld at the 1995 BDO World Finals
V/O: (From original commentary of the above match) Look at them standing, look at them applauding!
CUT TO: Back to the pub. The man takes aim.
V/O: ...Wales has produced many triumphant victories.
CUT TO: The last darts of Whitlock vs. Webster at the 2008 BDO World Finals
V/O: (From original commentary of the above match) A wonderful, worthy world champion - Mark Webster. [...] A Welshman, on top of the world!
CUT TO: Back to the pub. The man throws the dart.
V/O: Once again, Wales stands on top of the world.
CUT TO: The Wrexham team celebrating after the 2023 Champions League victory.
V/O: That god-damn Yank has done it again! Wrexham has taken the world by storm, and at the center of it all stands Scott Brown!
CUT TO: Back to the pub. Closeup on the dart flying in slow motion.
V/O: One only has to wonder, if one American made raised Wales to the top of the world of football...
CUT TO: The bullseye of the dart board. The dart hits it right in the middle. Pan up to reveal the dart had an American flag flight.
V/O: ...what could two Americans do?
CUT TO: Scott Brown walking into the pub.
V/O: Scott Brown...
CUT TO: The man in the pub walking towards Brown.
V/O: ...TheMcD...
CUT TO: The two shaking hands.
V/O: ...two is greater than one.
Beru04 wants to sign Ivan Drago. He will bury you.
beru04 posted:
Note: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ingPbmcNlkQ is playing in the background.
A series of short fade-in/fade-out montages, showcasing all of the league trophies won by Wrexham is shown, lingering on the Premier League title.
VO: The job of a hero is to do the impossible...
Pan over Scott Brown, arms crossed and with a face looking like he's about to fuck someone up.
VO: The job of a team is to make it possible...
Slow fade to show Beru04 next to Scott Brown, both posing in front of 11 Premier League trophies, all arranged on a mat as if they are 11 men in formation.
Transition to black, words appearing once the transition is complete in elegant golden writing:
Beru04/Scott Brown.
We must break you.
Dreamsicle wishes to keep our focus on young players and formalize our penchant for possession play.
Dreamsicle posted:
FADE IN: An aerial shot of Wrexham
V/O: (Chris Jericho soundalike) 10 years ago, Wrexham took a chance on a just-fired American.
CUT TO: Scott Brown's first press conference at Wrexham
RADIO: The Wrexham Board has confirmed that former Tackleford manger Scott Brown has been hired by...
V/O: Since that fateful day, Wrexham has been on one hell of a ride. From giant-killing...
CUT TO: Racecourse Ground, January 7, 2017: Wrexham vs Derby FA Cup Third Round
RADIO: Bailey sending another corner in... AND ADRIAN READ SCORES! Wrexham four, Derby nil!
V/O:... to three consecutive promotions...
CUT TO: Stadium of Light, May 4, 2019: Wrexham vs Sunderland
RADIO: Mujkic to Pym who is all alo- GOAL! Wrexham is now 20 minutes away from going to the Premier League!
V/O:...to European Glory, Scott Brown has done it all.
CUT TO: Santiago Bernabeu, May 27 2023: Wrexham vs Manchester United Champions League final
RADIO: AND IT'S ALL OVER! WREXHAM ARE NOW THE CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE!
V/O: And if I get elected, I guarantee that Wrexham will experience European Glory and more for as long as I am around. Vote Dreamsicle, and Wrexham will never EVER be disrespected again! And one more thing. Megabastards, the worst is yet to come.
We'll play possession soccer as it has not failed us in the last few years. Wrexham shall stay the course on it's youth oriented style. (C and D) Also I just realized my slogan (the last sentence in the ad) is very easy to be misconstrued but I like it.
TheGreyGhost supports youth and possession football, and seems to have forgotten that we lost in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy final.
TheGreyGhost posted:
Celebrating History in the Making
FADE IN: A shot from behind of a peaceful farmer that slowly rotates around the farmer. Farmer is wearing a Justin Bailey jersey in the field. He is tending to his sheep.
V/O: (Liam Neeson in the calmest tone possible) Wrexham, a city of work
CUT: Scott Brown holding the Johnstone's Paint Trophy at midfield with Justin Bailey at his side
V/O: Where we celebrate the fruits of our labor.
CUT: The Dragon statue in front of the Racecourse Ground
V/O: Where we have honored the road traveled. Where we construct to honor what has been built.
FADE OUT: to Black
FADE IN: The Team Hoisting the Premier League Trophy and the Champions Cup Trophy in a split screen
V/O: Where the best team in football can be found amidst a small city away from the spotlight.
Begin Music: http://youtu.be/Hq8VPYPzKHk
CUT To: The team scoring on PSG at home with the Racecourse Ground packed
V/O: Now, we have learned this, that the road is never any easier. But the path is what separates us from them.
CUT TO: A Wrexham pub littered with soccer hooligans wearing Wrexham kit
V/O: This city built this club. These fans put their dreams in that red dragon, and now we honor them with these solemn vows.[/b]
CUT TO Kais Rouissi and Ryuta Ikeda training in the youth facilities
V/O We will continue to push on with our own and train for the future.
CUT TO The Team's 3 goals against Shakhtar.
V/O We will push the envelope for who can truly be a megabastard.
CUT TO Thiago celebrating a goal.
V/O We will play the dynamic attacking football that you love.
CUT TO This statue with Scott Brown's face carved in
V/O And we will never forget the people who pushed this town of shepherds even harder to become the best in the world.
CUT TO Video of the Candidate taking part in the construction of the Racecourse Ground expansion.
V/O (Voice has changed to John Boehner soundalike) I'm TheGreyGhost, and I promise you this. In our future together, we will have a statue of the man who shepherded us from nothing. We will have a dedicated hall of fame to the players that changed our lives forever. We will continue to develop the next generations of those players in our academy. And we will never back down from the assertive football that has brought us this far. We have changed the game for who can become a megabastard. Now, let's change those rules and be megabastards on our own terms.
Play Possession Football (I.E. 4-2-3-1 Control)
Develop Through Youth
Dane thinks Hamlet and Laertes would be super sick on the pitch, and supports attacking play.
Dane posted:
A Great Dane for the Great Game
FADE IN: DRONE SHOT, CRAGGY HILLS, CLASSIC WELSH LANDSCAPES
M&E: FAINT WIND NOISES (FX NOTE - WINDS SUBSTANTIAL BUT SOOTHING; NOT THREATENING); SLOW FADE UP - SOOTHING TRADITIONAL MUSIC (MUSIC NOTE: TRIPLE HARP, HAUNTING FIDDLE IF POSSIBLE. HAS ENYA BECOME PUBLIC DOMAIN YET?)
V/O: STRONG OLDER MALE, GRUFF - THINK WELSH CONNERY OR SOMEWHAT LOWER PITCHED JOHN RHYS-DAVIES; A COMFORTING, SOLID VOICE - THIS MAN HAS WORKED FOR A LIVING; GRANDFATHERLY; WISE
We're a small country, but proud.
FADE TO: EXT., OUTSIDE VILLAGE HOUSES. A GROUP OF MEN DRESSED IN WORKER'S CLOTHES (PRE-1950S) AT THE END OF A WORKDAY, TALKING, SMILING, JOKING (BUT RESTRAINED)
V/O: We know what it takes to make something that lasts, something that's worth holding on to. We know what has value. We know what has worth.
FADE TO: STILL MONTAGE OF WREXHAM FACILITIES EVOLVING OVER THE YEARS (AERIAL SHOTS IF POSSIBLE, NOT SATELLITE)
V/O: We know that building something that lasts takes more than just throwing a pile of money at it. That it takes time, and sweat, and toil, and character. We have always known this. It's in our bones.
FADE TO: (SOME OF THE) SAME GROUP OF MEN, NOW WITH FAMILIES, EATING TOGETHER. THERE'S LOTS OF BACON AND BUTTER AT THE LUNCH TABLE
V/O: For almost two hundred years we've chosen Danish butter and bacon because we've known that it's the best, made by craftsmen who take the time needed to do the job right.
INSERT: A GREAT DANE FOR THE GREAT GAME
V/O: Danes - because if they can make butter and bacon this good, just think what they might do for the best football club in the world.
Play attacking football.
Sign players from the President's nation (DENMARK)
Develop through youth.
Xtanstic wants us to become Chelsea if Chelsea was all about scoring 6 goals a match, and picked the best song to portray a megalomaniac that was actually produced by a megalomaniac. (NB: I love me some 'Ye)
Xtanstic posted:
Election campaign
Ad script
Set to the tune of Kanye's power https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L53gjP-TtGE
[BLACK AND WHITE; Racecourse Grounds]
Wrexham gets scored on as a deflated crowd heads to the exit
[CUT TO]
Indiana Jones style flight from the US to Wrexham with Scott Brown stepping off the plane
[CRESCENDO]
Montage of Racecourse Grounds being upgraded in the background. Mujkic, Shirra, Bailey flank and pose behind Brown as our trophies rocket from the sky landing in front of our team
[LIGHT DIMS]
President Candidate Xtanstic walks up to Scott Brown putting his hand on Brown's shoulder
[LASER SHOW LIGHT EXPLOSION]
A pedestal erupts from the ground carrying the team towards higher and higher heights as trophies start raining down around us.
Style of play
II - Attacking style. We will impose our will and we will crush all comers
Transfer Policy
Continue current policies of C and D but with more of B. We will continue our current path while expanding our development facilities. I expect within 5 years time that we should hoover up all youth prospects, selling off our excess in order to fund strategic mega-transfers that will simultaneously enhance our megabastardom while also weakening our opposition.
canti32 is all about the literal mountain of trophies I promised, and wants us to play attacking soccer while continuing our youth movement.
canti32 posted:
I am officially throwing my hat in the ring, to help guide Wrexham through to eternal glory!
Imagine a boot, stamping on the face of the world, and the camera slowly pans up to reveal Justin Baily, right as he hulks out, then quick action cut to Man Utd tied to the side of a rocket, as Shirra slams his fist down on the launch control. Mujkic and Laux doubling up on chain guns, blowing away Man City. Hammet boots Chelsea into a pit. Then, a slow pan up a mountain of defeated rivals, Barca, Madrid, PSG etc before reaching a solid golden throne made of EPL, champions league, and other cups before reaching Scott Brown, seated, staring intently out into the middle distance as the World Cup fades into view. 2026 flashes across the screen, and fade to black.
While I'm in charge we are going to focus primarily on Offense while Continuing to build our youth and sign young superstars.
Ghostwoods posted:
[INT. Night.]
JUSTIN BAILEY is in a darkened sports hall in the middle distance, picked out by a spotlight. He's playing keep-up with an odd-shaped ball, pulling off athletic moves to bounce the ball off knee, shoulder, chest and head as often as off his feet. The only sounds come from his amazing ball-work. As we close in, he lobs the ball into the darkness. Another spot picks up MATEO MUJKIC, who charges into the lob with a roar. He taps it back up into the air as we swoop in towards him, and then slips into a spinning roundhouse kick. The ball seems to almost hang in the air as he whips round to hammer it. Just before impact, the camera zooms in to clearly show that it is, in fact, the severed head of Man City manager PATRICK PATTISON.
Pattison's head flies through the air in a shimmer of lightning. Tall iron braziers flame to show the head smashing into an eight-foot-tall pyramid of severed heads. Many of the faces are painted with Tackleford colours on their cheeks. A blood-red throne sits atop the mound, snarling Welsh dragons its arms. Seated within it, managerial candidate GHOSTWOODS glowers out at the camera.
A golden slogan in a simple, sans-serif font fades in over the screen:
WREXHAM
A moment later, the rest of the slogan appears below it:
TOTAL CONQUEST
[Fade to black]
Style: II
Policy: A, D.
Lynneth doesn't think we should fix what ain't broken, but wants to see us pummel opponents even harder. He hired Michael Bay to produce his ad.
Lynneth posted:
For the slogan, 'Friendliest Megabastard or bust!'
For the ad, it would be 30-45 seconds of me, the candidate, jumping off buildings, out of planes and cars as they explode, culminating in me standing in front of the Racecourse Ground's main entrance as the ISS crashes down to earth in the distance, exploding violently.
At the end of the ad, only one word is said, 'Wrexham'. Then an overlay to elect me for board president and so on while I smile.
For the categories, I choose
II
and
C, D. Why change what's working?
As P Diddy used to say, Vote or Die.