Part 237: Chapter the Fifth: The B Team.

Chapter the Fifth: The B Team.
July 2, 2029-August 1, 2029

I've lubricated the offices of His Imperial Majesty of FIFA, Sepp Blatter.* It seems that we now have a properly outfitted Gold Cup squad:



* It turns out that Blatter decided that his resignation back in 2015 wasn't official, and while he's currently under indictment for massive corruption in 150 nations he never leaves his fortress in Moscow, which was given to him along with a robot body by Vladimir Putin. Also, FSB agents kept killing anyone who claimed he isn't the head of FIFA, so after a few years and a few dozen polonium poisoned bodies later everyone decided to just let him have his way.



Don't do anything stupid, Paul.

vs Cuba, July 10, 2029
Gold Cup, Group C


It's nice to go from facing nations like Germany and Spain to ones like Cuba. Even using a much weaker squad we should do very well in the Gold Cup.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Delgado, Quinn, Ramirez, Klaas, Jimenez, Ramos, Padilla (c), Vazquez, Medina, Clavijo, J. Garcia.
Subs: Toninho, Donaldson, B. Garcia, Hartman, Enriquez, Meza, Moctezuma.

Joey Garcia gets us on the board in the 25th minute and we walk through the overmatched Cubans. The only concern is that we allowed too many dangerous counter attacks for my comfort, and broke up our clean sheet with a last minute goal.

Man of the Match: Rodrigo Moctezuma




USMNT 3-1 Cuba



What?!



For shame. £46.5m is a lot of scratch, but Moctezuma is already good enough to start on a Champions League winner and is only going to get better. You're a fool, Paul Williams! You're going to run my beautiful edifice into the ground!



Good. I'm going to hold you to that.

vs. Guatemala, July 14, 2029
Gold Cup, Group C


A win over Guatemala gets us into the quarterfinal, and shouldn't be much more difficult to obtain than our victory over Cuba.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Toninho, Donaldson, Ramirez, Klaas, Quinn, Hartman, Medina, Vazquez, B. Garcia (c), Clavijo, J. Garcia.
Subs: Delgado, Jimenez, Bartlett, Ramos, Enriquez, Spence, Moctezuma.

Joey Garcia knows he's on the trading block, and is trying to look good for his suitors. He improves on how quickly he got on the board over the prior match, netting after two minutes rather than 25. He adds a second in the seventh minute, and the Serie A squads that have scouts on hand are eager to see even more. He gets his hat trick 10 minutes on thanks to a pretty soft penalty awarded by the Montserrat referee. A lackluster second half sees Guatemala score twice, but we're already so far ahead that there was nothing they could do to catch up.

Man of the Match: Joey Garcia




USMNT 4-2 Guatemala



See how much easier that is than the Confederations Cup? And I'm not even using close to our best possible team.



Oh goddamnit. Who the hell was making him train when we have a game in two days?! Coaches get their brains removed when they take a job with a national team, apparently.



Garcia's been attracting a fair amount of interest, and he was never going to break into the Wrexham squad. He'll do well to play in either Serie A or Ligue Un so long as he has a starting role.

vs. Jamaica, July 17, 2029
Gold Cup, Group C


It would be nice to beat Jamaica, who have also already qualified for the semis, to ensure that we get placed on the opposite side of the bracket from Mexico.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Delgado, Quinn, Donaldson, Ramirez, Jimenez, Padilla (c), Vazquez, Meza, Spence, Moctezuma, Bennett.
Subs: Toninho, Bartlett, Klaas, Hartman, B. Garcia, Morales, J. Garcia.

Atilla Kovacs, head coach of Bayern Munich, has made the trip all the way out to San Jose to scout Rodrigo Moctezuma. Unfortunately we're not giving him much to look at, and after twenty minutes Jamaica has been by far the better team. Moctezuma finally has a chance to show off for his potential new boss, but fluffs an easy opportunity. We allow Jamaica to score not long after and enter the locker rooms looking unsettled and sub-par. Things don't improve in the second half - despite Jamaica being forced to play the final 15 minutes with 10 men due to injury and no remaining substitutions we don't come close to a draw.




USMNT 0-1 Jamaica



Our sleepwalking form against Jamaica means we get to face a pretty good Costa Rica squad instead of minnows El Salvador. Complacency is a bear, and the only silver lining is that we're still on the other side of the bracket from Mexico.



At least the loss to Jamaica won't affect our FIFA ranking. We're still not very likely to be seeded, but the possibility remains if we close out qualification extremely well.



I'm going to hold my tongue in the media about this, but Paul Williams knows how poorly I think of this deal. And there was no reason at all to move Moctezuma, he was under contract for another three seasons. He had no ability to force a move and gave no indication of wanting to move.



Mazel tov to Joey G, though. He's now a part of the first team on a good club in a top flight division. That's much better than being a rotation option for Toronto in MLS, which is where I found him before the Partizan Project.

vs. Costa Rica, July 22, 2029
Gold Cup, Quarterfinal


Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing, and I will gut anyone who says that losing to Costa friggin' Rica is OK. They're a bunch of wusses! Their nation doesn't even have an army! We gotta crush these literal tree-hugging hippies! For Freedom!

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Delgado, Quinn, Ramirez, Bartlett, Jimenez, Padilla (c), Ramos, Moctezuma, Medina, Clavijo, J. Garcia.
Subs: Toninho, Donaldson, Klaas, Hartman, Morales, Garcia, Bennett.

Moctezuma can't finish for anything, missing yet another chance in the seventh minute. That's not a problem for Joey Garcia, though, who puts us ahead in the 27th minute on a sparkling volley. That's the slim lead we take into the break, so I give the players a haranguing. It works well enough, with the game sealing goal coming after Clavijo earns a penalty and then converts from the spot himself. Costa Rica bang the post in the closing minutes, but for once we keep a clean sheet despite some hairy moments towards the end of the match.

Man of the Match: Erik Jimenez




USMNT 2-0 Costa Rica








Wrexham has apparently decided to sign every early 20s defensive midfielder in the world.

vs. Jamaica, July 26, 2029
Gold Cup, Semifinal


It's our second match against the Reggae Boyz in nine days. Maybe it's a good thing we got our crap performance out of the way in the group stage?

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Delgado, Donaldson, Ramirez, Klaas, Jimenez, Padilla (c), Vazquez, Moctezuma, B. Garcia, Clavijo, J. Garcia.
Subs: Toninho, Quinn, Bartlett, Hartman, Ramos, Meza, Medina.

Yep. After five minutes of play we've already put more points on the board than in our first tilt with the Jamaicans, thanks to Moctezuma finally finishing off one of the bajillion chances he regularly creates. We should have had a second, but the ref blew the whistle before Joey Garcia could add to his tournament leading total. Clavijo gets the second goal instead, and we roll to a pleasing victory and yet another United States v. Mexico final.

Man of the Match: Rodrigo Moctezuma




USMNT 2-0 Jamaica

vs. Mexico, July 29, 2029
Gold Cup, Final


Mexico hasn't won a Gold Cup in a decade. They have the best striker in the planet on their team, a player who I raised and molded into perhaps the best player on the planet. They have a midfield general who managed to hoodwink me in my club days and was the underlying cause of the disastrous Sinan Ünsal transfer, my single worst piece of business. Beating them is going to be almost as hard as beating Germany and Spain.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Delgado, Quinn, Ramirez, Bartlett, Jimenez, Padilla (c), Ramos, Moctezuma, Medina, Clavijo, J. Garcia.
Subs: Toninho, Donaldson, Klaas, Hartman, B. Garcia, Vazquez, Meza.

Isaac Stringel does that thing he does in the 18th minute, but Bobby Padilla hits right back on a long range free kick. That's where the good news ends.

Mexico scores again five minutes later, and it seems that early match is a track meet. It's the type of track meet where one of the runners trips over a hurdle and eats a face-full of dirt, though, as we quickly fall behind by two goals. That becomes a three goal deficit right after the half, and we don't even come close to getting back into the match. Diego Armando Cardiel of Roma proves the deadlier of the two Mexican strikers, as he completes his hat trick to finish the process of grinding us beneath their boot-heel, and only then lets the ref mercifully whistle the end of the match.




USMNT 1-5 Mexico



I know you can't win 'em all, but losing 5-1 to our mortal enemies in front of our own fans is a bitter pill. Mexico has now beaten us twice in a row by a combined score of 8-1.



Yeesh, nearly a clean sweep for El Tri. They won all six of their matches by a combined tally of 19-3.



I wish I knew how we were going to do come the final five qualifying matches. We've beaten some of the best teams in the world, and also lost to Jamaica in San Jose. I'm confident that we're going to qualify, but beyond that I have no idea what our record will be when the Hex comes to a close in three months.