Part 92: Chapter the Fourth: Draws are boring.
Chapter the Fourth: Draws are boring.October 28, 2019-December 4, 2019
I expect us to slide into the relegation zone for at least part if not all of November. We're facing off against Liverpool at Anfield, and then Manchester City is coming to the Racecourse grounds. Those two clubs are very likely to hand us losses. After that we have a two week international break, and then fixtures against Blackburn Rovers, Wigan Athletic, and Norwich City, which are all teams that we have a chance of taking three points from. But first, we need to repay Everton for beating us at the start of the season in the Capital One Cup.
Buck up, y'all. If we play Everton like we did in our first match we've got a great chance.
At Everton, October 29, 2019
Capital One Cup
We should have beaten Everton in August, but this match is arguably more important to us. Unfortunately, we have to head up to the Mersey river to face them this time, and as such we could be in for a rough day. Still, we've proven we can beat quality teams, so winning this match isn't out of the question.
Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Hurst, Lewis, Todd, Mejasic, Matko, Mair, Bailey, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Bastable.
Subs: Love, Durand, Vaillant, Simpson, Petts, Djurovic, Harrison.
It's trouble for Everton from the kickoff, our duo from down under combine for a goal before I can blink. They're able to equalize early on a cross from the byline, but we take the lead back less than two minutes later when Mair gets his head on a corner kick from Bailey. Bastable adds a second goal just after the half hour, and we cruise to victory from there. Bastable is denied his hat trick late in the game despite being clearly onside, but Bailey scores as time ticks down, and earns his his first goal and assist of the year in this game.
Man of the Match: Rocky “the Bastard” Bastable
Everton 1-4 Wrexham
The goal happened so quickly I didn't even have time to change the camera options to my preferred setting for watching the match.
Really, everyone was great today. The defense was exceptional after halftime, locking down Everton completely and never giving them any chance to get back into the game. I'm very happy with Hurst, after a poor start to the season he's now racked up a 7.1 and 7.6 rating in the last two games.
Liverpool was knocked out by Man U, Tottenham was knocked out by Aston Villa, and Chelsea was knocked out by Stoke. That leaves only two megabastard clubs (Man U and Arsenal) left in the competition. If luck favors the underdog and they also go down in the coming rounds it could be anyone's cup.
Well, it won't be our cup, if our first match at Old Trafford is any indication.
I'm confused, he realizes that he's lucky to be playing at this level, right?
We are raking in so, so much money.
Not nearly as much as this consortium has behind them, though. Arsenal should be called Mint, because owning it is a license to print money.
At Liverpool, November 2, 2019
Premier League
It's right back to the Merseyside for our next match, against giants of English football Liverpool. In the 1980s Liverpool were the best team in the world, bar none. They haven't won a first division title since 1990, though, and in recent years have been deeply disappointing to their fans, not having qualified for the Premier League since 2009. They happen to be the team I support in real life, I first started following them when they were purchased by the same man who brought my beloved Boston Red Sox back to glory. It's taken a couple years for him to work that same magic at Anfield, but it appears to be working this year as the Reds will almost certainly book their first return to the Champion's League in half a decade and have an outside but very real shot of winning the league title this season.
In our AU, however, Liverpool remains mired in mediocrity, reaching the Champion's League just twice since 2013. It's a pity, in real life the Reds look stacked to compete for years to come with excellent young talent like Raheem Sterling, whereas in the 2020-2021 they're coming off of 8th and 7th place finishes. That doesn't change the fact that Anfield is still a remarkably difficult place to play for outsiders, though we're catching Liverpool as they seek to end a three game losing streak and a five game winless streak.
Oh, and as the game is at night on a Monday, is everyone ready for some Monday Night Football? Or should I leave the bad country music in America?
Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Vaillant, Lewis, Todd, Durand, Matko, Mair, Bailey, Mujkic (c), Petts, Bastable.
Subs: Love, Youssouf, Johansen, Simpson, Troelsen, Shirra, Harrison.
Liverpool do a thoroughly professional job against us. They strike in the fifteenth minute when their target man slips away from Todd to get on the end of a cross, and it's only sheer luck that we don't concede more goals afterwards. We manage just one shot on target all game, and our best chance ends with Daniel Matko putting the ball into the side netting at 71 minutes. I can't complain about a 1-0 loss when it could have been so much worse.
Liverpool 1-0 Wrexham
That's overestimating us a bit, buddy.
Walley is getting regular playing time, while Novotny is sitting on the bench as expected.
I've set Sky Shadowing's morale very low, so he should be stepping down. Regardless of whether he does or not, we're going to have a new president. Everyone is eligible to run, but they have to make their own argument as to why they should be picked. People can announce their candidacy from the time that this update is posted until the next update goes up. After that, we'll have a vote as to which candidate should win. The winner of that vote will become the next chairman. I won't make us use Condorcet voting, but I probably will institute Alternative Vote/IRV because I'm a huge nerd and if we have 20+ candidates first past the post voting would be silly.
vs. Manchester City, November 9, 2019
Premier League
This game is at home, but we're up against a preseason title contender. It's time to batten down the hatches and hope for a little luck.
Maybe more than a little luck.
Starting Formation: 5-4-1 Defense
Starting 11: Higgs, Hurst, Lewis, Todd, Johansen, Durand, Djurovic, Mair, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: Love, Youssouf, Vaillant, Simpson, Bailey, Matko, Harrison.
Our play is much better than I expected and we hold our own in the first half, but Man City are able to take the lead from a corner. Man City adds another early in the second half, but we hit back less than a minute later on yet another Bastable goal. Despite looking dangerous throughout the entire game, and frankly outplaying our opponents for large parts of the game, we just can't find an equalizer. It's a loss we can be proud of. We came in massive underdogs, but City were very lucky to escape with points despite the scoreboard.
Wrexham 1-2 Man City
The Saints are still for sale, apparently.
Sky Shadowing is out! Long live Sky Shadowing!
vs. Blackburn Rovers, November 23, 2019
Premier League
Blackburn are an old club with a long history, they're the oldest extant club to have won the FA Cup, and they won the top division title twice before World War I. They had a long period outside of the top division after World War II, but were back in the top flight when the Premier League was born. In the 1990s they were bought by a local industrialist and he brought them the glory of a Premier League title, making them the only club outside of Man U, Man City, Arsenal, and Chelsea to win it. Their crest has the phrase “arte et labore” - “by skill and labor.”
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Attack
Starting 11: Higgs, Youssouf, Todd, Lewis, Mejasic, Mair, Petts, Djurovic, Matko, Mujkic, Harrison (c).
Subs: Love, Durand, Johansen, Troelsen, Shirra, Argenti, Bastable.
Blackburn is given a penalty just two minutes into the match where I can't even make out what the referee saw. At worst it was a slight tug on the jersey, and a very soft call. Blackburn converts, and we're down one-nil. We respond in short order, with Youssouf playing an excellent ball into space that Harrison can run onto and plug into the top left corner of the net, beyond the outstretched arms of the Blackburn keeper. We give up another go ahead goal in the 33rd minute, though, when Chris Todd is too busy complaining that his mark is offside to actually play defense. From there we meekly submit to Blackburn, showing no spark after halftime and have a final indignity of another bullroar penalty called against us in the third minute of stoppage time. It was our worst game in a month, our fourth league loss in a row, and leaves us in 18th place.
Wrexham 1-3 Blackburn
That goal drought is part of the reason why Billy the Kid is now Billy the Backup.
Come at me, FA.
That's what I thought.
Everyone. My house. Thanksgiving. We need to get our heads screwed on straight, and gorge ourselves on some pumpkin pie.
Pass the gravy, Lewis. I told you guys that brining the turkey was for the best, and so easy too!
Now it's time to start a fire, pour some wine, and play charades until we all pass out full, drunk, and happy.
At Wigan Athletic, November 30, 2019
Premier League
We're starting to fall off the back of the midtable pack. We need to win in order to avoid putting ourselves into a hole that we'll have to dig out of. Playing against the equally woeful Latics is a good opportunity to pick up three points, even playing in Wigan.
Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Hurst, Lewis, Durand, Djurovic, Mair, Petts, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Bastable.
Subs: Love, Mejasic, Johansen, Troelsen, Bailey, Matko, Harrison.
Mathias Durand makes a vital intervention at the very start of the match, making an inch perfect tackle in the penalty area to snatch a big chance from Wigan's grasp. Djurovic follows up shortly thereafter with a goal. We pile on more pressure and create a number of additional chances early in the game, but can't add a second goal. Wigan gets a couple opportunities of their own but are largely punchless, and when Bastable scores at 30 minutes we attain a safe two-nil lead despite the excitement. In the second half we're awarded a penalty, which would have salted away the victory, but Shirra misses. It doesn't matter, our march to victory continues unabated. I'm only slightly irritated that we didn't do more given the myriad chances we created, but we looked a superior class of team than our opponents.
Man of the Match: Dejan Djurovic
Wigan 0-2 Wrexham
He can rest when he stops scoring so many goals.
Our players will be picking these up regularly. The team's average age is only 22, more than half our first team regulars are eligible for the award.
The same names are up for this award year after year. The only person not to have been shortlisted for this award in the past is Charles Asante, who is AU-Andre Ayew of Marseille. Still, it does show that the game is largely moving on from the stars of today, only Messi/Morales and Bale/Davies are huge stars in our world. The name breakdown is below:
Matias Mercado = Erik Lamela, Tottenham Hotspur
Cristian Reartes = Lucas Romero, Velez
Joaquin Morales = Lionel Messi, Barcelona
Shaun Davies = Gareth Bale, Real Madrid
Alberto = Thiago Alcantera, Bayern Munich
Charles Asante = Andre Ayew, Marseille
It's been a while since we've seen our players make the team of the week.
England doesn't have it too bad, but Wales is doomed. Scotland, sadly, did not qualify.
Mujkic is now drawing interest from around Europe. I need to make up a plaque that says “£50m or GTFO” to instagram at the clubs sniffing around him.
At Norwich City, December 3, 2019
Premier League
The last time we went to Norwich we thumped them 3-1. I'm hoping for another result of that like, it would keep us from falling back into the relegation zone.
Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Hurst, Lewis, Todd, Durand, Djurovic, Mair, Bailey, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Bastable.
Subs: Love, Youssouf, Johansen, Troelsen, Petts, Matko, Harrison.
We come out on fire, but all those early chances promise much but come to nothing. Norwich recovers to play better after the half hour, and they play quite well at times after the break, but we prevent them from doing any damage despite 11 shots on goal. Then 19 year old Scott Shirra takes over the game after missing a big chance in the 70th minute. In the 82nd minute he plays the ball forward to Bastable ten yards from the penalty area. Three Norwich defenders collapse towards Bastable, leaving Shirra to continue his run forward, as Bastable passes to the now wide open Scotsman. Shirra's first touch shot doesn't miss, and we're up 1-0. Not seven minutes later he locks the result down, this time scoring from a free kick from 25 yards out, curling it inside the wall and behind the near post for a gorgeous goal.
Man of the Match: Scott Shirra
Norwich 0-2 Wrexham
We're more than a third of the way through the season and look like we're going to be able to avoid the drop. The oddest thing about the season thus far is that we haven't had a single draw. Maybe they know that I'm American and thus am constitutionally opposed to them. Our next set of matches takes us through the new year and won't be easy, with league fixtures against Arsenal and Chelsea and our Capital One Cup Quarterfinal match at Manchester United. Our players have been good for the most part; Rocky Bastable has been even more brilliant than I expected while Scott Shirra is a budding superstar. I may approach the board at Christmas-time for an expansion of our budget, we could use an improved defense and more depth at the wing position, while our coffers are overflowing at £8,908,115.
CHAIRMAN ELECTIONWe are now accepting candidates for chairman of the club. Anyone may put their hat in the ring except for Sky Shadowing, and candidacies may be announced at any time prior to the posting of the next update. Candidates are expected to explain why they, and no one else, deserve to be the Chairman of Wrexham FC. After the next update I will post the candidate list and hold an election to determine who among you will be raised to the most august position in Wales.