The Let's Play Archive

Front Mission 3

by Smasher Dynamo

Part 141: Emma's Branch Alternate Mission #15: A.I. Suicide is Painless

I swear this LP is almost over.

Emma's Branch Alternate Mission #15: A.I. Suicide is Painless



: Yes. Listen to this.
OCU Operator: This is WHITE STORK. The gift from GWEN will soon be delivered.
Control Tower: Roger that. It's FRAGILE. Approaching Sumatra now.
OCU OPERATOR: This is WHITE STORK. Roger that.
OCU PILOT: The guys at the base are so neurotic.
OCU OPERATOR: Yeah, but at least these new transports won't be shot down so easily.
OCU Pilot: What' wrong!?
OCU Operator: A missile just locked onto us!
OCU Pilot: An enemy attack!? But this is OCU territory!
OCU Operator: Mayday! Mayday! This is WHITE STORK. We're under attack!
Pilot: It's gonna hit!!
: So WHITE STORK is a transport.
WHITE STORK is a terrible code name. Why not something like Cobra-Bird, or Knight-Zilla.
: Yes. GWEN is a laboratory in Ayutayu, Thailand. FRAGILE must mean top secret.
: They got shot down by the guerillas while transporting...
: And the OCU retrieved the cargo. They probably carried the cargo to Thailand.
: We'll check the contents there.



Much like The Hangover, Part 2, I expect this mission to be a great commercial success, as well as featuring full frontal male nudity.



: I'm positive it's here. The OCU research lab is under this place.
Well, I guess we haven't committed any cultural desecration yet in this game.



: Who're you calling a dog? We're here for MIDAS!
: MIDAS? Hehehe, what are you on? There's no MIDAS here.
: Liar! I know you're transporting top secret cargo!
: Yes, we DID transport top secret cargo to the OCU base. I sent my prototype wanzer, not MIDAS.
: !
: Are you shocked by your stupidity that you can't speak? Hah! MIDAS and its scientists are on their way to the Philippines.
Yep, this alternate branch was a wild goose chase that ends with the mini-boss flat out telling us where we're supposed to go. I must say, over 130 missions into the game, and I'm still surprised by the joy the developers seemed to have in making Kazuki look stupid.
: You mean the scientists from Japan!?
: You're awfully stupid, yourself, telling us all this! Is this a trap?
: Heh, I could care less about you or the OCU. Nevertheless, there's nothing you can do. You're going to be guinea pigs for my experiment.
: Guinea pigs!?
: Are you crazy!?
: Hyahaha! Of course! I AM the supreme creation. I'll show them.
: Supreme creation? Them? What're you talking about!?
: There are those who turn humans into instruments for war. Those very people claimed I was a failure! I'm going to show them my true power!
: Turning humans into instruments of war? A failure!?
: Hehehe, you're the one who made MIDAS. I'm sure you'll understand.
: How do you know me!? What am I supposed to understand!?
: Give it up, Emma. There's something wrong with him!
: Hyahaha, this wanzer was crated for me! It's unstoppable! No one can stop me now!



The mission is to kill Serov in his Genie Arm. It shouldn't take you more than two turns.



As you can see, this Genie Arm has had its stats nerfed, making the job even easier.



The legs, Emma? After all this time, that's how you pay me back? Anyway after a bit of a beating, Serov will lose his mind (again).



: Agh, I...can't move... W-Why? The controls don't... Agh, my head... Uaaaaaaaaaagh!
What're you...!?
: What's wrong!?
: I don't think he's sane.



So, Dennis almost kills Serov, and that's the effective end of the mission. Why?



Because the AI isn't quite smart enough to realize how to handle this situation. After the last cutscene, Serov now starts attacking his allies, and the AI has the enemy grunts counter-attack when possible, meaning that one of the grunts kills Serov and wins the mission for me. I've never seen a game literally beat itself before.



: Did we do it!?
: Enemy reinforcements!?
: Damn! We wasted too much time taking out the prototype...
I just realized that 'Damn! We took too much time!' is basically Kazuki's catchphrase.
: Kazuki!
: Heh hehe, I...am...the...supreme... Hehe...he... I...I am... I...am...
: Holy... He's still planning on fighting...



Ah, trusty Lukav, always there to save our asses.
: Lukav!
: Time's up. We'll take care of the rest. Pull out!
: But...
: You're just going to get in the way! Pull out!
: Kazuki, we got what we wanted. Let's do what he says.
: All right. Take care, Lukav.
: You don't need to worry about me. Purple Haze, spread out and strike the reinforcements!
: Roger. Cindy, Gastor, it's showtime!

Next Time: The last set of missions! The Senor Badtimes Saga, Part 1: Through the Gates of Hell!