Part 8: Ben and the bunnies. And the destruction derby.
Ben's reaction to te spinning Corley Motors sign is another thing you just have to hear to fully appreciate.
Heading up to the front doors..
This is really a religious pilgrimage for me. A religious pilgrimage with a lot of butt-kicking.
Man: Mr. Ripburger has postponed the meeting until Mr. Corlet's murderers are apprehended. All the shareholders were notified.
Ben: Yeah, well I haven't checked my voicemail lately, Mac.
Let's try again for some reason!
B: Hey! Open up! Let me in!
M: Beat it!
Time to look around for something else to do, then. Take, for example, that big stadium out front.
It's none other than Horace the souvenir guy! I've never met him, but the magic wheel of action-picking knows his name!
Horace: What can I get ya?
Ben: Why all the lights down here?
H: We got a demolition derby tonight! First prize is a vintage Corley hardtail completely restored by the Old Man himself! Yep.
B: What's this big arena doing way out here?
H: Corley built the Smash-A-Torium so his employees could have some wholesome entertainment nearby. He sure took care of his employees. I got no idea what's gonna happen to us now that he's gone.
B: I'm looking for a good souvenir.
H: Well, good souvenirs is all I got! What can I fix you up with?
Battery operated bunnies!
B: Something small, furry and yellow.
H: Sorry! This is the only set of teeth I got! Heh!
Dang! There goes another one!
B: How 'bout that little car there?
H: It's small, but it's not cheap, my friend! You better just take it for a test drive to make sure.
So we do.
You don't get to do much before it runs out of juice. Back to pretending to want to get things legally...
Ben: Bunnies, and plenty of 'em!
Horace: You want bunnies! I got yer bunnies. How much you got on ya?
B: Uh, can I just take them out for a test drive?
H: I think you may not be ready for the kind of commitment that comes with the Corley Bunny Value-Pak.
B: Those shirts come in extra-extra-large?
H: Eh..eh, no... But they're pre-shrunk.
B: No thanks. What do those pennants say on 'em?
H: "Can't beat a Corley!" they say. Kind of ironic, actually, considering how he died... Still, look great on your bedroom wall!
B: No walls. My bike is my home.
H: We could set you up with a little flag pole so you could make a flag, y'know, for yer back seat?
B: I'll, uh, think about it.
H: Do you actually have any money?
B: As much as I need.
Seen any Vultures around here?
H: Nah, we don't have much of a Vulture problem here... Even though their hideout is right up the road. They stay pretty much locked up in there... not very social.
B: What's in the hat?
H: I dunno. Came filled with it. Probably some sort of packing material. Packs a punch, I'll tell ya that much!
Looky here. Nothing personal... but why don't you mosey along and stop scaring away all the other customers, all right?
B: Just clearing my throat.
Enough of that crap, then. Pilfering time!
Excuse me, but are those...shirts, uh... are they all cotton?
Horace: Well, uh... let's see here.
Adventure game tactic #31: distract and swipe.
Works every time.
Horace: One-hundred percent cotton!
Ben: Oh, uh... that's too bad. I'm allergic to cotton
Time to visit some vultures. You need to the bike off the road and up to their hideout.
I've heard a lot about the Vultures...
Ben throws a rock.
...and I guess it's all true. I wonder how they keep it so smooth?
Now the moment all the veterans of this game have been waiting for. We summon the noblest of God's battery-powered creatures to clear the minefield.
We take the battery.
This means we can use the remote-control car again.
Driving the car through that turnstile gets it stuck. The door is exit only, you see. It might be a bit of an oversight that you should just be able to drive it back out.
Horace: Now look what you did! The entrance is all the way through the factory! Hang on li'l buddy! Daddy's comin'!
Ben: Now it's just me and the bunnies.
We take the Corley Bunny Value Pack. If you try to use it on anything but the minefield, you get "Not with my box of bunnies.", which is a pretty funny quote out of context. I mean, the person hearing it has to sit there and imagine why you would have a box full of bunnies in the first place.
Anyway, we can't head through the factory entrace Horace took because everyone in there thinks Ben killed their beloved leader.
Tidy little Vultures.
Strength in numbers!
ehh... Well. It's a bit harder than that, then.
Once you use one and leave the minefield, you get this little scene of Horace chasing the car, which is moving on its own at this point somehow. He leaves another box, so I grab one and use it. This time, I take all the bunnies before any of them blow up. Now I have a box-worth of individual bunnies. I grab another box for later, too. You can do this with one box, but I have plans...
If you let the bunnies off one-by-one instead of all together, you can clear a path without needing a full box. I have three left, plus the extra box.
Suzi: You sure?
Mo: Yeah. That's the guy who killed my father.
S: Alright, Vultures! Rack 'em up!
Ben: Listen, Mo! You're making a big mistake!
Mo: Oh, Ben. You're right. We shouldn't do this quickly. We should draw this out, don't you think, Suzi?
Suzi: Hey, I got all night. You heard her, kids... Let's DRAW this out!
Just imagine them pulling on Ben and him groaning every few lines.
B: Your father--
M: Don't you DARE talk about my father, you heartless bastard!
B: Corley and I-- OR Malcolm wants... Two options, same result.
M: I said, shut up about my dad!
B: I'm losing my temper, Maureen!
M: You're about to lose much more!
B: Okay, that's enough!
M: Mmmm... not quite.
B: I'm innocent!!!
M: You're in-something all right!
B: Let me go, or else...
M: Or else WHAT?
B: I'll sick the Polecats on you!
M: The Polecats are in jail, Ben. You put them there, remember?
B: I'll tear this place apart!
M: Ironic choice of words, Ben.
B: I'll get blood all over your driveway!
M: That's good for the landscaping, actually.
B: I'll call you names!
M: Ohhh.. like what?
B: Mink Farmer!
Freaky, Toaster-loving Old Maid!
Rat-Bike-Riding, Rubber-covered Vultures!
M: How-- Where'd you hear that name?
B: Your father. He told me just befoe he died.
M: You bludgeoned my father, and then talked about old times?
B: I didn't kill him! Ripburger did! A photographer took pictures, but her camera was stolen by the same thug that came after you.
I'm pretty sure Ben wasn't there when either of those things happened. I suppose it could be an educated guess. Bolus was clearly the muscle.
M: I...I still have that roll...
B: Well, develop it, would ya? While I still fit in my clothes?
M: Okay, you stay here.
Ben: Yeah, well. Don't sweat it...
M: I'm going to get Ripburger, even if I die trying.
B: No. We have to expose Ripburger at the shareholders' meeting. That way, we take him down, we save my gang, AND your father gets his dying wish... You take over Corley Motors.
M: Ripburger canceled the shareholders' meeting. He made a statement to the press that there would be no meeting until the murderers were brought to justice.
B: So, no shareholders' meeting until we're both dead?
M: That could be arranged...
Suzi: Faking Ben and Maureen's death, act one, scene one. Adrian Ripburger, in a desperate attempt to lure our Maureen out of hiding, has developed the following lame-ass scheme: First prize at tonight's smash-up derby is a vintage hardtail that Mo restored with her dad. Rip hopes Mo will try to nab said bike on accounta her sentimental attatchment to it. So Ben and Mo play along, put on disguises, and enter the demolition derby. Which ends tragically when their cars explode and both are presumed dead.
Ben: Ah... question.
S: Please save your questions until the end.
S: This ejector seat projects Mo clear of the explosion, and she parachutes to safety.
B: Don't you think someone will notice her ejecting out of her car?
S: No, they'll all be watching you running around on fire.
B: Yeah, that's another question I have--
I need to see if I can get some bigger pictures of this with no subtitles. I'll add them later, maybe. You can see all sorts of little things written on the blueprints.
S: ...and run around the stadium distracting the audience. In your cute little asbestos suit, of course.
B: That's some plan!
S: Alright, then, let's go blow you little darlin's up!
Announcer: Hang on to your chili dogs, 'cuz it's time to start The Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium Amateur Driver Ultimate Destruction Maximum Canage Marathon! Let's meet our crash-cage gladiators!
A: He prefers to be known as "The Unknown Avenger," and that's just fine with us, isn't it folks?
Ripburger: Who do they think they're fooling with those ludicrous disguises?
A: And next to him is another newcomer. Please give a big Smash-A-Torium salute to the Princess of Pileup, Doreen Schmorley!
R: Alright, boys... Sick 'em!
A: ...and finally, we have a last-minute addition to the lineup tonight. A deadly-looking team known as "The Boom-Boom Brothers."
A: Alright now, are you ready to see some RECKLESS DRIVING? Are you ready to see some UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT DESTRUCTION? THEN, LET THE DEMOLITION DERBY BEGIN!!!
For the record: Nestor and Bolus are in the blue car, Mo in the yellow and Ben in the red.
Mo: Where ae you, Ben?
Ben: Hang on, Mo! Here I come!
I'll explain what you just watched, in case you didn't quite follow. Bolus and Nestor get Mo stuck in a corner. You can't get by them, so you need to go above them. Going off the ramp onto the brown car stalls it, then you push it off the ramp near the Boom-Boom brothers. The brown car gives you the extra distance you need to get on top of the blue car, so once you go over it you win.
Announcer: Can't see any survivors yet... Wait! What's that? It's the unknown Avenger, and he's on FIRE! Let's give him a hand folks. That looks painful! We really should put him out right away, but what a show, huh?
Next: Well, Ben might want to get put out, for starters. After that, I suppose Ripburger gets his- or something, maybe.
You can get some funny quotes from using the bunnies i thw wrong places.
The derby planning scene is one of my favorites, so here it is in video form.