The Let's Play Archive

Gazillionaire Deluxe

by Didja Redo

Part 1


Hallo?
Hello. Is this Mr...er...Q'zad-Tezslat?
Is him.
Great. Hi. Uh, you don't know me, but you sold a ship to my...my "business partner", Mr. Tark'la, a few days ago. A Locomotis model?
Oh, yeys. I sell him sheep.
...yes. Good. Well, I'm afraid he made a bit of a mistake. It turns out that a ship is a little too expensive for our budget right now. I was wondering if-
No reefuns.
...I'm sorry?
No reefuns. I don't reefund-a sheep.
No, listen. It's not broken or anything. In fact, we haven't even used it yet. You can still sell it to someone else. It's just, uh, we thought it over and we decided we don't really need it.
I don't reefund-a sheep.
You'd really be doing us a favour, sir.
I don't reefund-a sheep.
Okay, I'll be frank with you. My friend borrowed some money from a loan shark to purchase this ship, and we're going to be in serious trouble if we don't pay it back very soon. Our lives may be at stake here. Please help us out.
Oh. I see. Must get monny back for debt. Maybe legs breaking if not. Maybe shootings. Much dangerous, yeys?
Yes. Very much dangerous.
Yeys. I am...what is word...sympathy. Would hate for to seeing young lives destroyed by bad finance dee-cee-shun. Is would be terrible shame. Terrible.






I don't reefund-a sheep.
so help me god i will fly this thing into your house you HEARTLESS BASTARD
As long as I not haff reefund it. You nice day goodbye.





Told you it was a waste of time.
Urrrrrgh.
Hey, I've come up with a name for us. Tell me what you think.



"And Sons"? Since when do you have children?
I don't. But it gives us that warm, family feel, right? Folks'll eat that right up. Trust me.
If you say so.
Well shit, let's try not to sound too enthusiastic here.
I'm sorry, but I find it hard to be "enthusiastic" about the prospect of imminent death.
Would you shut up with that already? We're gonna be fine. I worked it all out and we've got at least eighteen weeks before we hit our credit limit.



Eighteen weeks. At least that's plenty of time to plan my funeral.
Look. It's not like we have to make a hundred grand right away or die. For now, we just have to make enough that the interest doesn't get out of control. Zinn isn't gonna give a crap if we don't pay it all back at once. Not as long as he can milk a decent profit.
Oh. Okay. So instead of being murdered, I get to starve to death in an inescapable spiral of debt.
Oh, for the love of...what did I tell you about being a businessman? Huh? What's the one thing I said we needed?
...suits?
Confidence. We have to go into this thing and believe that we're gonna kick everyone's ass. You keep up that doom and gloom attitude and we really will end up getting whacked.
Alright. Self-delusion is the key to success. I understand.
Yeah yeah. You just try and keep frowning when we're raking in the kubars, chief. You'll see. We're gonna be rich. And then I'm gonna laugh.