Part 4
HISTORY OF LORO
Loro became known as the Pleasure Planet because of the genius of Peelia Veelia, the leader of the Mamo Wuzzies. Mamo Wuzzies are a race of bulky, energetic creatures who inhabited Loro before humans ever set foot in Kukubia. Peelia Veelia saw the expansion of the New Realm as the perfect opportunity to satisfy her subjects' basic needs. You see, Mamo Wuzzes crave one thing in life, and that is stimulation.
Mamo Wuzzies continually seek out new experiences, experimenting with everything they can get their sticky little hands on. For example, if a new type of food is discovered, everyone rushes out to try it that very day. However, within a week, a new fad takes over. The most popular hairdo on Loro was only around for 13 days before it went out of style.
This is why in 286 B.B., when Supreme Commander Bass Nicolson (Dred's Nicolson's grandfather) led the Imperial Forces to Loro, he discovered a civilisation unlike anything he had known before. The Mamo Wuzzies embraced Bass and his soldiers with unparalleled enthusiasm. They just couldn't get enough of the strange invaders and invited them to endless parties, celebrations, feasts and festivals.
Bass' army found the Mamo Wuzzies fascinating, as they constantly provided new sources of entertainment. As the Mamo Wuzzies entertained the soldiers, they continually sought out information about the Galazy of Gogg and tried to learn everything they could from their visitors. Peelia Veelia used this opportunity to convince Bass Nicolson to allow her to set up a galaxy-wide entertainment centre.
Peelia Veelia persuaded Bass that this would be mutually beneficial. It would provide much-needed entertainment for the population of Gogg, create an additional source of tax revenue for the Imperial Government, and guarantee her people a constant source of stimulation. Seeing the great potential, Bass Nicolson agreed to help Peelia Veelia. Thus, Loro became Gogg's best known resort destination.
Okay! I just discovered that I'm an idiot.
Really? It's about time.
Gonna ignore that cruel barb, 'cause I happen to be in a good mood right now. Check this out.
What's this?
Supply and demand, my friend.
Listen. The way we're operating right now, we're basically just going by guesswork. I mean, we buy whatever's going cheap at the time, but we still have no idea if we're going to make or lose money until we actually sell, yeah?
Yes.
Right. But that's not how you're supposed to do it, is it? I mean, if that's all there was to trading then it'd be a total crapshoot. The economy would be all over the place and nobody would know what the fuck.
You say that like it isn't true.
Har har. Seriously, scathing social commentary aside, this thing is our ticket to mad moolah. All we have to do is buy whatever goods are in high supply, then ship 'em to the planet that has the lowest supply. Boom. Guaranteed profit.
Okay, but this is what the chart looks like now. It still takes about a week to clear all our transactions and get from planet to planet. How do we know it'll still be up to date by the time we arrive?
Look, I'm not saying it's perfect, but the important thing is that we don't have to take shots in the dark. Besides, I don't think it's gonna change much in one week unless there's a sudden glut or something.
I suppose it's better than nothing, then.
It's way better than "better than nothing", fuck you very much.
What do the markers mean?
Well, the arrows just show where the lowest supply is for each commodity. The red diamond at the top is where we are now. And if I click on a column here...
It'll highlight that planet in yellow on the map. Just so we don't forget where we're going when we set off.
Aww. Little smiley face.
...
What? I just think it's cute.
...
So...er...I suppose we're shipping Lava Lamps to Bass, then?
If you're all done being a five year old girl, sure.
Wow.
Uh-huh. That's right. That is how we roll.
Wow.
Seventeen grand. All ours. One week. Soak it up.
W...
Alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's not "all ours". This is going towards the Zinn repayment fund. Nowhere else.
As you command, oh slayer of buzzes.