The Let's Play Archive

Gazillionaire Deluxe

by Didja Redo

Part 5


HISTORY OF BASS
Bass is named after the Great Bass Nicolson (Dred Nicolson's grandfather). After Bass Nicolson defeated the Hapa Jillo Empire and the Pirates of Zile, he began transporting all of the treasures he had plundered and pillaged to this planet. Along with the treasures came a legion of accountants, merchants and financial types, whose duty it was to catalog everything, sell off the valuable items, and invest the profites in emerging markets throughout the galaxy.

To facilitate this huge transfer of wealth, the first Galactic Stock Exchange was established. It tracked markets all across the New Realm, set up branch offices on every major planet, and created numerous new investment opportunities. This influx of wealth fueled the growth of colonies like Kukubia. Stock brokers, market analysts and traders congregated on Bass to exchange information and plan their investment strategies.

After the original treasures were all sold, the importance of the Galactic Stock Exchange declined. By this time, other stock exchanges had sprung up all across the Galaxy of Gogg. Thus, the Galactic Stock Exchange had to be renamed the Kukubian Stock Exchange, and its main focus became the 7 planets of the Kukubian System. Today, if an investor wants advice on the Kukubian market, Bass is the best place to go.





Tark'la, I'm starting to think we should take out a loan.
Uh...what? We already got a loan from Zinn, remember? The one that paid for the ship we're sitting in?
I mean a real loan. As in, a legally approved one.
I've been doing some research into the Trader's Union. Now that we're an official company, they'll let us borrow up to 100,000 kubars.
Okay, and why would we do that?
Isn't it obvious? We can use that loan to pay off Zinn's loan.
Ohhh. So what, the Trader's Union has a lower interest rate or something? I getcha. Good plan.
Er, no. Actually, it's five percent per week, so...one percent higher than Zinn's.



...so we exchange one debt for a worse debt? How exactly does that help us?
Maybe because the Trader's Union won't kill us if we can't pay up? Which we can't.
Now what makes you say that? We haven't been doing bad so far.
It's just luck. There's no way this is going to last more than a few weeks. We're going to crash and burn sooner or later. I just know it.
Wow. It's always such a delight to talk to you, Slev. You're a regular fucking sunbeam.
I'm just trying to be realistic. I know it'd be tough on us, but I'd still rather be bankrupt than dead. I don't think we should take any chances here.
See, that's the problem with you. You've always gotta play it safe. You wouldn't even ride a bike as a kid because you were afraid you'd scrape your knee. How the hell are you going to get anywhere in life if you never take risks?
I do take risks!
Yeah? Name one.
...
I...I bought myself a coffee a couple of months ago. Even though I wasn't sure I could afford it.
Mm-hmm. That's incredible. That just blew me away, right there. You're a real daredevil, buddy.
It was one of those really expensive ones. With the syrup and the whipped cream and everything.
Look. Just stick with me on this for now, okay? We'll be fine. Once the cash starts rolling in, I will get you all the whipped cream you want. I will fucking smother you in whipped cream.
...
Uh...you know. Figuratively.
Right.



Why are we buying-
LOW MARKET PRICE. IT'S A FUCKING COINCIDENCE, ALRIGHT?