Part 8
Damn it. Only twelve tons of lava lamps left.
What's the plan, then?
I dunno. We won't make a whole lot going back to Pyke with only twelve tons. And they look like they've got a decent supply of everything else.
Maybe we'd be better off taking Frog Legs to Mira. Smaller profit margin on them, but there's a lot more to sell. Probably make us more money overall.
Um, yes. On that topic. Don't you think we should start actually doing the maths, rather than just guessing?
No. Fuck maths.
You know, I've noticed that we've got a lot of unused space on this ship. We should probably consider doing something with it.
Hmm. Yeah, now that you mention it, we probably should. What are you thinking? Golf course?
No. Something useful. Like a second cargo hold, perhaps.
That would be ill-advised, sir. We mustn't weigh the ship down too much, sir.
See? Like I said, we should make it a golf course.
You don't even like golf!
Slev. Nobody likes golf. It's boring as shit. But liking it isn't the point. You know what the point is?
I-
The point is, it's just something you do when you have money. And actually owning a private course? That's like having a licence to say "FUCK YOU, I'M RICH!" whenever you want.
You could always have it converted into passenger quarters, sir.
Passenger quarters?
Yes, sir. It is quite common for trading companies such as yourselves to make some additional money by transporting people as well as cargo, sir. I should know, sir. There were over three hundred passengers on the Noble Venture when it met its end, sir.
Could you please try to avoid bringing that up while you're at the helm?
Very good, sir.
That's not a bad idea, though. I don't think we could take a whole lot of people, but we could jack the ticket prices right up if we did everything up nice and advertised the hell out of it. Make it look like a real first-class ride, you know?
Right. We could install a restaurant, a bar...
A golf course...
A golf-
...
These are wealthy, professional people we'll be transporting, Slev. They need a golf course. We owe them a golf course. My hands are tied. Nothing I can do.
Incoming transmission, sirs.
Hello. You are being owner of ship?
I suppose so, yes. Can we help you?
Yezz.
Alright, better question. How can we help you?
It izz end of mating cycle for space flies. I am having children soon.
Um...good for you.
Yezz. But my asteroid, it izz barren. My children, there will be nothing for their food. You must be giving me your waste, pleazze.
Our waste...?
You are having tank for sewage? For you emptying it here, I will pay 11,600 kubarzz.
You have got yourself a deal, ma'am.
No! We can't do that!
Slev. Perhaps you didn't hear her correctly. This esteemed lady is offering us eleven thousand kubars to dump our crap on her house. How can this possibly be a bad idea?
Because it's illegal.
Oh, fuck off.
It is! The Sanitation Police are cracking down on this kind of thing!
"Sanitation Police."
I'm serious!
Yeah, alright. Look...