Part 23

Hey Tark'la. Come and take a look at this.



Ah, crap. Really?
What's the problem?
This is sounding way too much like Monopoly. You know I hate that game.
Because you suck at it.
No, I just never cared enough to play it properly.
Because you suck at it.
Are we gonna buy this thing or what?



You sure you wanna bid that much? That's more cash than we have right now.
We'll just have to get another loan, then. I'd rather we paid the price for it now instead of having to worry about getting charged all the time.
Besides, Pyke gets a lot of traffic. For the engines. I think it'll pay for itself pretty quickly.
Well shit, if we're gonna need a loan, you can go get it. Last time I was there, I got possessed by a mutant toadstool's offspring.
You...what?
Long story.



Ouch. Could'a had that a lot cheaper.
Well, at least we have it.
Hey, maybe we could pass it off as a typo. "What's this shit? We said thirty thousand. You guys must have messed up somewhere."
Okay. Here's the phone. You call Emperor Dred and tell him he made a mistake.
...
Hey Pilot. Mind making a call for me?



Alright. Time to get back in the game. What have we got to sell?
Nothing.
...
So we're off to a good start, then.
I hope you like gruel.



YES. How do you like that, little miss broker? "Flaccid" my ass.
She is so getting it when we go back to Bass. I am gonna rub this in her face so hard. That'll show her who's boss.
...
What?
I think you need to go back to "flaccid" and start explaining from there.





Hey, I was thinking. You know Xeen's famous for its mechanics? Maybe we could find one to do some work on the ship.
There's nothing wrong with it, though.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it, but it could be so much better.
If it ain't broke...
...and someone else breaks it, hello compensation claim.



Hey. I hear you do ship upgrades.
Ah? You are mistaken.
You're not a mechanic?
Non. I am an artist. And I do not "do ship upgrades", monsieur. I speak to ze ship. I whisper in its ear, and I ask, "What is wrong?" I find ze empty places in its soul and I fill them, monsieur. With life. With love.
Fine. Then we want you to give our ship some love.
Ah, yes. Zis, perhaps, I will do for you. Show it to me.



Ah, ze Mantagon. A sleek and slender creature it is. Beautiful. Yes. My muse will allow zis. Today, I will expand your cargo bay. Ze charge will be 600 kubars.
Uh...that sounds great, but I was actually thinking you could do something with the engine. It's a little slow.
I am sorry, monsieur? Does ze canvas tell ze painter what to paint? Does ze marble say to ze sculptor, "I will be an impressionist Lippo Jungie"? Non. Non, it does not. Another week I will improve your engine, perhaps. Today it is ze cargo bay or adieu.
Great. All the goddamn mechanics on Xeen and we get the temperamental bi-
Alors! No more noise. Leave ze ship in my care. What is this fool doing inside it? Out, out. You will ruin my concentration.
I, ah...I am the pilot, sir. I pilot the ship.
Out! I will not have others here while I work! Zis is an act of love and I will have privacy!
...
Dude, trust me. I don't think you wanna be around for this.








Hmm. Not the best selection, but at least there's something this time. I guess we'll take some Gems to Pyke.
Right. But before we go...



...
Tark'la. Fifty one kubars. Protection for almost everything that could possibly go wrong this week for fifty-one kubars. We could make that back just from the interest on our bank account.
Fine, fine. If we must.
I'm sorry it's such an ordeal for you.
Hey. My father was killed by an insurance salesman, okay?
No he wasn't.
How do you know? You've been away.





Oh, incidentally, sir. I made that call for you, sir.
What call?
To the Emperor, sir. About the error in processing your bid, sir?
Wait, you actually did it?
Of course, sir. You did ask me to, sir.
Well...I mean, I was kinda...uh...so what did he say?
I'm afraid I only got through to a secretary, sir. When I appraised him of the situation, he simply laughed for a full minute and then hung up, sir.
Oh. Right.
Should I try again, sir?
No, that's okay. Really.