Part 36

Probably best to stay away from Pyke, then.
AWRGH. That's it. I'm done trying. We are never going to get this engine up to speed.
I'm sure they'll be cleared out soon. You know riots never last long around here.
Yeah, and then we'll find out that there's been an industrial strike, or a comet landed on the L-Tech factory or some other bullshit.
Face it, Slev. We are destined to be the slowest thing in the universe. In a thousand years time, when everyone else is zipping around at the speed of light, we'll still be puttering along in our five-kuarp engine.
Incoming transmission, sirs.



Howdy! I hear you boys're in the market for a kuarp or two?
How did you know that?
Oh, don't worry yourself about that. Call it divine providence.
...
...
...I, uh. I used to work at L-Tech. Got kicked out. Thing is, L-Tech's got a monopoly on engines these days, so they figure they don't need to worry 'bout customer service much. Lotta people like yourselves don't get what they need when they need it.
I hang around the factories, keep an eye out for that. I see someone who can't get an engine, I give 'em a holler. Tell 'em to give old Teeter a whirl.
Alright. So you have an engine to sell us?
Not exactly, but I can do some tinkerin' with the one you got now. Couple extra nuts and bolts and she'll be just as good as six kuarps.
Before we agree to anything, we need to know why you were fired.
Uh...well. It wasn't over ineptitude or nothin'. I do good work. Y'all can ask anyone.
We didn't ask what it wasn't, buddy.






I kinda pissed in my manager's coffee. And when I say "kinda", I mean "literally".
You...what?
He was talkin' about lowering my pay, reducin' my hours. I'd busted my wheels every day for that son of a bitch and I wasn't gonna stand for it. I got mad.
Right. I'm not asking why you did it. It's just...you don't really seem to have the right parts. For that.
Look, there's no need to go insultin' me. Do you want the work done or what?



So much for our sluggish destiny.
Yeah, yeah. One extra kuarp because we happened to find a travelling handyman. It was a one-off, man. We still won't be able to catch up.




Ah, monsieur. It is good you have come. I had just thought to myself, "It is time to be doing something about zat engine."
Really?
Okay, I take it back. Apparently I'm just destined to be wrong about everything.
I bet a giant sack of money is NOT going to fall on my head right now!






hey destiny i am getting pretty fucking tired of your inconsistency





So...do we go back to bidding normally now? I'm sure we don't need to worry about those leaks anymore.
I dunno, man. Vandergriff might be out of action, but that doesn't mean someone else won't step in.
I say leave the bait out for another week. If they've stopped biting, we'll know we're in the clear.










100,000.
Not doing this anymore. Leave me alone.
100,000.
Look. I can't afford that, okay? Can't afford facilities, can't afford commodities, can't afford lunch. I'm done. Bugger off.
...
Goodbye.





Gentlemen. I trust everything has been going well?
Oh yeah. Great. Peachy. Couldn't be better.
We're out.
"Out"?
Out. Done. Finito. You know why? 'Cause now Puffer's gone AWOL as well.
Has he now.
Yeah. He has. And you know what else? STS has a faster engine now, so we can't even overtake them anymore. For all the difference it made anyway.
You said this would work if we all cooperated, but we're dropping like flies and they're still going strong. So unless you've got the mother of all trump cards ready to play, we're done. Because this shit is not working.
Actually, I think you'll find it's working perfectly well.
Are you blind? We're throwing everything we've got at them and they're still making money! We've hardly even got enough left to support ourselves!
My point exactly.
...what?
You may recall that I spoke to you before of glancing attacks and decisive blows?
It's really quite simple. You were the glancing attacks. You have served your purpose, and your time has ended. I am the decisive blow.



You understand now? As the rest of you fought to cripple Slev, Tark'la and Sons, Hoff Miester has flourished. We are performing better than we ever have, and I expect that we will continue to do so for a very long time.
I am the future of Kukubia, gentlemen. I alone deserve the support of the royal family. And I shall have it. Your purpose, your only purpose, was to strike at Slev, Tark'la and Sons and die in the attempt. You have served it admirably.






Bastard.
Hey, hey. We're still in the game here. Just because you screwed everyone else doesn't mean we-
I hardly see how that matters. Mr. Roke explained your situation quite clearly; you barely have the funds to keep yourselves afloat. You have no clout. No hope of catching up. You no longer present a threat to me, or to anyone.
And as it happens, Mr. Gizzy, I do have quite the trump card indeed.







Incoming transmission, sirs.



Slev, Tark'la and Sons? I'm sure you're busy, so I'll keep this short. Are you interested in earning 5,000 kubars?
That depends on what we have to do.
To be honest, almost nothing. I specialise in making emergency travel arrangements, and it so happens I've got a gentleman here who has some urgent business on Bass. Would you be willing to take him?



Huh. Well, I don't see why not. We've got room, he's willing to pay the ticket fee, and we're headed to Bass anyway.
Then we have a deal?
Sure. Send him on in.



Evenin'.