The Let's Play Archive

Gazillionaire Deluxe

by Didja Redo

Part 42


Captain's log, stardate 4012.7. I have convinced Mr. Roke and Puffer to join forces with our erstwhile enemies, "Slev, Tark'la & Sons." I do this in the hopes of sticking it to Hoff Miester. Also for money.
Though we have much to gain and little to lose from this endeavour, I still find myself uneasy. The bonds of necessity are fragile, and already the shadow of distrust looms large. I fear this alliance may shatter at any-
Sir? I apologise for interrupting, but why exactly are you telling me this, sir?
You're supposed to be writing it down.






it's a log



Hey Slev. Get me the chart for the Nosh exchange, would you?



"Predicting a downward trend." Well god damn if that isn't clairvoyance. Straight-up witchcraft.
Do we have anything invested here, or are you just complaining for the sake of it?
You know, all jokes aside, we haven't bought any shares in a long time. I was thinking we should get back in the game next planet we go to. Could be our last chance to catch up.
Where are we headed next?
Nosh.
So no, I'm not complaining just for the sake of it.
Fucker.



HOLY SHIT IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU ALSO WATCH THE NEWS
YOU ARE AMAZING MISS BROKER PERSON
Look. Imagine you're not a filthy rich business owner. Now imagine there's a job where people pay you to tell them overwhelmingly obvious shit.
...
Congratulations. You are now a stock broker.
I totally am.
How's your husband doing?
Fuck you.






Still intact, or...?
Fuck you.








Damn it. Right when we need to refuel, too.
We don't have to fill the tank. Let's just buy enough to get by until the price comes down.
Wait a second. You don't buy fuel at the station, do you? On Nosh?
Yes. What's wrong with that?
...
God damn.
You can't be serious.
You two don't know Zobrok?
God damn, guys. Even Puffer knows about Zobrok. Puffer.
Yeah, I...
What am I, the shit standard now? What do you mean "Even Puffer knows"?
Dude. 100% of Pyke. That kind of thing doesn't just happen.
IT WAS A BIASED SAMPLE



Alright, so apparently this "Zobrok" can get us gas on the cheap. Nothing shady, just wholesale.
And we missed him all this time? That really could have helped us out.
Eh. I don't think it'll be that big a deal. At most we'll save a couple of...



Uh.
A couple of...?
A couple of to forty thousand kubars.
That's more than forty thousand.
Yeah, thanks.
Closer to fifty.
You didn't know the dude either. Wipe that smirk off.
...
You know, sometimes I smile and it's not at your expense.
Sometimes the planets align.
Excuse me!



Fuel, right?
We're buying, yes. Are you Zobrok?
Yes, I am. And I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to sell you anything this week.
Why not?
...if I were to say that some fuel fiends are having a "party", would that explain-
OH GOD
Yeah. You've met one, then. Sorry. Try me another time.



Boy. Good thing we listened to those three, huh?
This reminds me. From now on, you're not allowed to use the word "protuberance". Too many images I'd rather forget.
I remember you saying that...incident was romantic.
Romance is dead. Forever.





So how're you guys doing now?
Better.
Like, a lot better or a little better?
Better.
Come on, man. Gimme some numbers here.
No offence, but it's only been a couple of weeks. We're not ready to trust you with company data just yet.
...
Captain's log, stardate 4013.1. My colleagues grow more paranoid by the minute. If this continues, I may soon have to-
What are you doing?
Go get a pen.







So. The insects unite against me.
You! Employee!
Mr. Miester?
Stand here and keep quiet. I wish to soliloquise menacingly.
If you must speak, do so in single words only. Oh, and put these on.



...
I'm...I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this, Mr. Miester.
I am fascinated to hear that.
Put them on.