Part 51
BANDITS
I grouped these guys together because they all basically do the same thing. If you come across any of these ne'er do wells, they will either damage your ship, (costing money to fix) steal your cargo, or both. Voyager's Insurance will cover both of these, if you have it.
From left to right, they are: Cylet Mind Buggers, Fez Fa Fa, Hungo Warriors, Mooglers, Chichi Bobo Rebels, Wicky Wicks.
BROW
Yes, he's an actual encounter! And a sneaky one at that. In exchange for a few (thousand) kubars, Brow will commit acts of sabotage against all of your opponents, which will cost them several times whatever you paid him.
Obviously there's not much point in doing this if you have a good lead, but if the game's coming down to the wire, this will make a big difference. Hope you kept that helmet.
This is an illegal action, and you can be fined for it.
CREW
Occasionally, your crew will demand a raise of 100 kubars per head. If you deny them, there is a chance that they will go on strike. This has the same effect as when you go too long without paying them; you're forced to pay all back wages immediately and raise their salaries by 500 kubars each.
This is no big deal if you're running a ship with a small crew, but god help you if you have Worm Shuttle. I would just bite the bullet and say yes.
CURTONIAN PLUS
Curt's ship has broken down, and he'd very much appreciate you loaning him enough cash to get him home again. Which is quite a lot.
Sometimes he'll turn out to be the son of a wealthy merchant, who will reward you for your kindness. Sometimes he'll just take your money and leave. The latter seems to happen more often. Unless you have cash to spare, you should probably tell Curt to take a hike.
Literally.
Except not, because he's in space.
EMPEROR DRED
Sometimes the Emperor himself will pay you a visit!
This can go one of two ways. The first is that he gives you a speech explaining that your efforts are vital to Kukubia and blah blah blah. This doesn't do anything in itself, but it does count as a good event and will therefore negate a bad luck streak.
The second is that he'll ask you to make a "donation" to the royal treasury. Should this happen, you're screwed no matter what. If you say no, you'll just get a message saying that a special one-time fee has been added to your taxes with no explanation. What a charming little fascist hellstate Kukubia is!
HANDS
Hands will offer to exchange whatever cargo you're carrying for an equal amount of Exotic.
This can be helpful, but it's very situational. If Exotic is in high supply, you might end up making less than if you'd kept what you had to begin with.
Also, he's a smuggler. You can be caught and fined for this. Consider well whether it's worth the risk.
HAPA JILLOS
As far as I can tell, this event is identical to Brow. It does the same thing and carries the same risk of backfiring.
LORD 104
This esteemed gentleman will offer to buy your cargo for three times whatever you paid for it.
This is hands-down the best event you can get on Master difficulty, with the possible exception of Nectum. Lord 104's offer is guaranteed to be far, far more than whatever you'd get in the marketplace, with the added bonus of no import tax. It's also a legal transaction, so unlike Scooter Jay, there's no chance of being fined.
Say yes and laugh all the way to the bank.
MEEG
This is an interesting one. In exchange for a random fee, Meeg offers to reprogram your ship's computer, which will automate some of your ship's thingamabobs and allow you to downsize your crew by one member.
If you get this near the beginning of the game, great. If not, think carefully. The money saved on wages might not make up for the cost of hiring him in the first place. It's also possible for Meeg to screw up and wreck your computer, which will cost you a pretty penny.
The description for this event mentions that it may "upset the Labour Union", but that doesn't seem to come into play. Except for the part where you feel terrible about laying off a hardworking employee, you monster.
MULLS
Mulls is a retired businessman. If you come across him, he'll give you a random hint, like "Don't pay your taxes until you absolutely have to" or "Don't pay your crew until you absolutely have to" or "Don't pay Mr. Zinn until you absolutely have to."
Truly he is a paragon of integrity.
He's totally right, though.
NEBBIT
Nebbit offers to sell you stocks on a certain planet for 20% less than the going rate.
It's usually safe to say yes here. Even if the exchange is on its way down, you can still make a profit if you sell quickly enough. Just beware of sudden nosedives.
PILOT
We saw that our pilot can occasionally pull off some sweet space stunts that get us to a planet more quickly than normal. However, sometimes he'll get lost and cause the opposite effect. Worse still, he can make a navigational error and end up flying you to a different planet altogether.
None of that happened in our game, because our pilot is the best.
QUASO MUTTA
I thought these things didn't talk? Oh well. The Quaso Mutta warns you that if you travel to whatever planet you were going to, your luck will take a turn for the worse. Instead, you should travel to another planet selected at random.
This can be a real hassle, especially if you had some good cargo, but it's worth heeding the warning. If you ignore her and go anyway, your luck will hit rock bottom immediately. If you don't have insurance, this can end up costing far more than the detour would.
QUIST
He'll ask you to invest in a money-making scheme, and promise you a ten-fold return. Turn him down. If you don't, you will never see him or your cash again.
One nifty touch is that Quist is occasionally mentioned in the news as a known con artist. As long as you tune into Channel 7 every week, you'd know not to deal with him even as a first-time player.
I didn't and was suckered in about five times before I learned my lesson. Thanks for asking.
Sidenote: Quist is, I think, the only character who got a makeover in Gazillionaire 3. What does he look like, you may ask?
It's me! I'm Quist!
doctor quist get it
SNOZ LOMBARDO
Snoz is a famous singer who needs to get to his concert in a hurry. He'll pay you good money to fly him to a randomly determined planet.
This carries the usual disadvantages of changing course mid-flight; which is to say, pretty big disadvantages. First, your advertising will go to waste. Second, since you were presumably travelling to the planet that'd get you the best price for your cargo, you won't make as much money at the marketplace.
If you're playing on Master difficulty and you don't have a ship with a high passenger capacity (WHY NOT?) this might be worth it. If you aren't carrying cargo or haven't advertised for whatever reason, this is definitely worth it. Otherwise, consider skipping it.
Best sound bite? Best sound bite.
SQUOWK
Squowk will offer to exchange all the cargo on your ship for a random commodity.
This is rarely worth the trouble, since you can't look at the supply chart before making your decision. Even if he isn't offering cheap rubbish like Jelly Beans, (which he often is) there's often no way to know if his product will earn you more money than whatever you bought to begin with. Unless he's offering Gems and you bought Cantaloupe or something, I wouldn't bother.
TEAL
She's some kind of tree creature who wants you to take her back to her home planet of <insert random planet>.
Teal will always repay you if you give her a lift, so this is basically identical to the Snoz Lombardo event. The only difference is that with Snoz, you know up front how much you'll get paid, whereas Teal will just give you a random amount of cash when you arrive.
WOBBLER
The Wobbler will ask you to invest in his latest artistic work. If you say yes, it can go one of two ways. Either it will be a success and you'll receive three times your money back, or it'll be a flop and you'll lose your investment. Also, Emperor Dred personally bans the piece from ever being shown in public again. Harsh!
This seems to work out more often than not, so I say go for it.
YOYO
He'll ask you to gamble on a coin flip.
You will lose every time. Say no.
WHY DIDN'T HE HAVE HANDS' SOUND BITE