Part 3: Gond West, Young ManiraptoranUpdate 3: Gond West, Young Maniraptoran
There is no 'I' in Gond. There is also no 'u.' And yet it remains. Bizarre.
Greetings, nice to see you again. Last time we committed genocide and that was a bit heavy but in our defense it was clearly not cold-blooded! Also, it's gained us some sweet digs.
4-Civilization 2 - The Shining Path
See? Groovy. But there's more!
A lot more. A LOT lot more. I still don't know how they fit all that DNA inside these little huts, but I popped open something like a million of them while exploring the next couple updates. Let's keep count!
Spawning grounds are not sanitary but they are useful. Incidentally, this was what our so-called 'wise men' were working on. Boy are their faces red!
But no seriously guys work out how to build us a fort because if you get scooped like this by some wattle and daub again we're dragging you out behind the Arena and eating you.
With the little whoopsie with the Thruthvang over and done with, I'm a bit skittish of heading further east for now. We'll Gond westwards for the moment. Maybe we'll find some sort of goodie hut that makes us better people or something.
And we'll continue work on our infrastructure. Road tiles only consume 1/3 of a single move to travel on, so they start out great and only get better as your units get faster. This Thecodontosaurus is planning for the future.
Except for that little gap just north of Parcae. There will be Consequences for that.
Hut times two, buckle my shoe.
The road to Thrut awaits. Actually, I think we'll veer east just a little bit, to pick up that nice little spot with all the shield grassland tiles - and it's hard to see, but the nearest jungle tile to the northeast of our Thecodontosaurus has a fern on it. This magically makes it four times as delicious as it would otherwise be, and that cannot be overlooked.
While I'm looking at this screen, I can't help but realize that Iguanodon in its center is going to spend the next forty million years moving very slowly back and forth. Let's see if it notices.
wait what you weren't there a minute ago
(CLICK HERE to swoon at the heroism of Gond upon the high seas)
And now you're gone forever.
Damn straight. I think it broke a tooth on that Thecodontosaurus's tender little ribcage.
See? Fear always works as a motivation.
Our architectural repertoire expands.
And soon we will know the secret of giving a shit about those tiny squeaky things that yawp when you step on them by mistake.
But it's hard to care when you can just pull friends out of little huts instead of raising them yourself. I didn't even have to pay this guy, he just wanted a pal so bad. Seriously, we've got dinosaurs coming out of the goddamned trees. What else could we possibly ask fo-
5-The Lost World: Jurassic Park (PS1) - Laboratory Hunt
Well hel-LO there.
This little sonuvabitch is the first step on a road of blood, sweat, blood, tears, blood, screaming, and blood. And he's a GIANT leap over his predecessors. Before this the biggest, baddest badass we had was Baryonyx at 3 attack and 2 defense. This little puppy has 5 attack, 4 defense, and an additional point of movement for a total of 3. It is life and death and love and eventually it will also be obsolete but that's okay. For now, for the moment, it's for Gond.
You're doing good, Parcae. Just, uh, pace yourself. Have a fish or something.
Speaking of fish, our Gyroptychius has found the erstwhile lair of its last lunch. Maybe if it just stretches a little-
well fine then. Asshole.
We have bigger non-fish to fry anyways.
Or maybe not okay look fish are COMPLICATED.
Roads in action. That's a single turn of movement from both the Oviraptor and the Theco. on the screen. The former's headed for uh....
'Beula' for love and for money and for revenge over our sordid past, and the latter's off to build a city very very quickly because holy SHIT Gond has made so many friends it literally has no production left because it's spending all its work on their allowances.
We will gain a reprieve by quietly terminating them without notice.
Much better. Sort of. It's relative.
At least we aren't making more friends or anything. Gond forbid.
Was NOT kidding about Oviraptors. I don't know what we feed these things but they move like greased, deep-fried lightning. He's already almost ready to say hi!
Still, we'll send a few more friends his way. Hi is a big job.
Also, there's a lot of unsightly blank over there. I'd like to find any other neighbours we've got scurrying around. Quickly.
The plight of Gond is accentuated by the greediest of its children having to stop and build its own damned road because SOMEONE forgot to put one down and ruined the whole highway like a chump. The sooner we turn this little resource hog into a city the better.
Hut times three, internal eggs for thee.
We have learned how to Ichthyosaur. Adorable, fast, and largely extraneous.
WOAH THERE HI
yeah let's talk with these guys sooner rather than later. Fish and Baryonyx don't mix unless it's OUR Baryonyx.
Sure why not. A fresh start.
(HISTORICAL NOTE: The finer details of the diplomatic summit between the Gondwanan and Beulaniac civilizations were badly damaged due to errors in screenshotting, poor paleontological judgment, and whoopsies. As a result, no visual record of the Beulaniac Emissary nor Yellow Neck herself exists*)
*Her neck was probably yellow.
(Things appear to have gotten off on the right foot...)
(...at least, until the successful deployment of the classic Gondwanan diplomatic strategy, termed academically as 'hard to get')
(it went downhill from there)
(CLICK HERE for PATRIOTIC RAZING SOUNDS)
Civilization 2 - Funeral March
(Well, temporarily downhill. After that it escalated rather quickly)
Anyways, where were we?
Oh, right! Caring.
We're all about caring.
Especially when it leads to these puppies. Well hey there good mother lizard. I don't know how babies play into construction work, but thank YOU very much.
Now, on to discovering memes.
Boy that paid off fast. We're already pretty great and cool. We just have to make sure everyone else knows it.
You know. Friendly-like.
NEXT TIME: NO MORE GENOCIDE I PROMISE SO HARD.