Part 8: The Gond ShowUpdate 7: The Gond Show
Rex was the tallest Citizen of Gondwana ever appointed to his post. He was also the shortest. Also, the onliest.
What's up? Last time we learned the true meaning of love
and now we will spread that love like sweet strawberry jam over the whole wide prehistoric world.
9-Jurassic Park (SNES) - Triceratops Trot
See? Look at how happy they are in Gond. Look at their smiling, joyous faces in the upper left of our omniscient city menu. And why shouldn't they be happy? They have food aplenty, they are rich both materially and intellectually, they are bustling as balls.
Good going, Gond.
No. I already know how things are going. They are fantastic. I will not hear otherwise.
Far to the east, Morta finishes fortifying itself and begins to prepare for future highway-and-byway building.
In the southeast, we make more giant friends.
MANY more giant friends. They are all huge, helpful, and ready to trot.
We're pillaging knowledge
and hunting for Fensalir
and making the odd, small, errant error. Well, it's an Oviraptor it'll be
5-The Lost World: Jurassic Park (PS1) - Laboratory Hunt (again)
Those are Deinonychus. Cousin to Velociraptor and Utahraptor, inspiration for the 'raptors' of Spielbergian fame, and considerably more ferocious, psychotic, and deadly than our Oviraptor in every single imaginable way.
Man, I know how they feel.
Civilization 2 - Funeral March
...I've got to do something about the Fensaliri. They're getting a little murderous. And speaking of murder...
But he lives! Gond bless the huge and ridiculous advantages given to defenders in this game's combat math, BEFORE you take into account the sizable defensive bonuses granted by almost every square of swamp and jungle on this planet!
Oh fuck off I'm having a moment here.
On the bright side, I think we're closing in on the Fensaliri homela
Oh god not you guys TOO.
Nothing we didn't blithely assume already, Maxict. Can you make your next one on pushiness? I think some people need a hint.
A fish in a hut. Yet somehow, not the strangest thing we've ever found there.
Even if the fish in question have been extinct for a hundred million years before the dinosaurs ever-
Wait. It's 395 MYA. We're IN the Devonian period right now. That fish may very well be the only living being in this game that's appropriately chronologically located.
Fuck that's creepy. We'll ignore it and move on to less rattling things, like
training hadrosaurid construction workers
discovering teeth yet again
and of course, snoodling like bunnies.
Where'd you come from?
Oh, right. Probably you.
I have a rule: I don't haggle with people who park Brachiosaurs on my front lawn unexpectedly when they ask for my eternal friendship and goodwill.
And listen, fair's fair and if you already found my backyard I'm sure we can both agree that
You know, I was going to retake this screenshot when I realized that in fact it is entirely appropriate from a narrative standpoint that when I finally discover Fensalir it remains obscured not by mere geography but by the unending demands from the AI that I stop looking at it funny.
Also, I forgot.
Now that Decuma's exploited its landbound resources to the hilt, it's time for it to go deeper a-sea. And once it does, it's going to be HUGE.
For FUCK'S SAKE.
hey there we can finally build Baryonyx for real now neat
Okay, I feel better again. Gond is good. Gond is DOING good. Everything is gonding according to plan. I am a tranquil pond.
i think we may need these
NEXT TIME: RAPS, RIPS, AND TEARS.