Part 10: Gond to SeedUpdate 9: Gond To Seed
The average school bus is half as big as a Gondwanan citizen backed up end-to-end and they do not have schools.
Well shucks howdy there. Last time we developed the capacity for forced labour and untold devastation and swore to step up as good global citizens who would prevent general death and destruction we may have accidentally coated the southern hemisphere in barbarians.
But that was then, and this is now. Forward!
11-Turok: Dinosaur Hunter - Lost Jungle
Wow, there's something we've never seen before. Up until now, nobody but us has had the time or inclination to work on Wonders of the World. Too busy fighting, dying, or feuding, at last the Devaloki have attained enough momentary peace of mind and spare effort to strive to create something greater than themselves.
I'll be damned if I'll let them get away with it. Just you try and outrace Moira, you little weasels.
While we're at it, let's turn Parcae into an experiment in coerced labour.
At last, at last, at long, long, LONG last, we have finally figured out how to pick up our own and/or other's poop and place it somewhere else. Glorious!
Huh. The southwest seems to be clear of barbarians. Guess they're all around the ruins of Maar. Still, there's going to be a lot of them. I'm pulling some of my northern guys off Devaloki-watch and dragging them down here past Fensaliri territor
Wait, what. Where's Diapason? Where's that other ugly little city here that I apparently never bothered to screenshot? What's going on?
Serves you right for trying you little...
Civilization 2 - Funeral March
This is a bit disturbing. The Fensaliri weren't nobodies like the Vithites or Annfwn. They were big enough to eat the Kore, another one of the founding civs for chrissakes. And now the Devaloki have secured a solid grasp on the eastern side of the world, with only ourselves left to (slimly!) contest it.
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Well, the southwest WAS free of barbarians. I've got to stop sticking my head in strange huts.
Note, also, the difference terrain makes. That Brachiosaurus just died to an attack that an Oviraptor survived, because it was safely nestled in a swamp and the Brachiosaurus was on plain ol' grassland. On this map, it's honestly more unusual to have no defensive terrain than not.
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One turn late. One turn! It could've made all the difference to our poor, chewed Brachiosaurus.
As it is, the days of these little bastards are numbered.
(CLICK HERE to witness the wonder of the Swamp Runners)
And now that we have THIS under our belt, it's time for Decuma to learn how to pick up after itself and for us to call up any civilization we please.
Ring ring. "Hey how ya doin' this is Gond here we drove by your island a li'l while ago and never called you back what's up care to swear eternal friendshi-"
THAT'S a new one.
Wait what is the order of operations here. No! No! You don't get to say THAT, and then say THIS. What's WRONG with you!?
You know what I've got a good idea of who I want to throw rocks at let's learn how to do that. Jesus.
He's only mediocre, where did he get that attitude from?
Oh. Oh, there's someone on that list we've never heard of before. Let's say hi.
You know, I'm not going to pretend 'Rex' is the most perfect name, especially in a world where it's everyone else's title.
but who the fuck are you again?
Oh, here's familiar ground. Tiny, timid, wants to be friends. Welcome aboard, li'l fella. Nice to meet you.
Civilization 2 - Funeral March
There is a god and it is a just one.
A bit bloodthirsty, though. Jesus, the Devaloka are NOT the people to try and settle next to.
I'm not so happy anymore either, guys. The world seems meaner than it used to.
Even all the new poop infrastructure springing up across the empire smells sour to me.
But you know what? Our Gondwanan pacifism and kindness does allow one viable target on the Devaloka.
You don't get nice things, Aralu.
Now that our secret technique of piling rocks has given us the tools to exploit the seas to their fullest, it only seems right that we develop the units to follow up on that.
Which we do, and appropriately enough, right as our long-suffering fish completes a circuit of the homelands of the Aalu, which appears to be a near-island subcontinent. Stylish.
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And speaking of suffering...
But look at that yield. Parcae is now not only obscenely rich and well-fed, it's also our most productive city by miles. As a matter of fact, it's so productive that those little hazard signs are warning me it's in danger of polluting the surrounding landscape with its industry. Since we have no mechanization, I'm presuming that this represents us pooping too much.
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More cruelty, more bloodshed. But for a just cause. Gond must be strong in these hostile times. Gond must be brave.
Horns. Crests. We must display strength at every inch.
We must prepare places for every poop.
We must scour every sea.
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And one way or another
(CLICK HERE to witness the wonders of the Evolutionary Spurt)
come hell or high water
Gond is here to stay.
(CLICK HERE for determined LANDSCAPEMANSHIPS)
And by 'here' I mean 'everywhere.' Step off, Devaloka.
NEXT TIME: FARMIN', FIGHTIN', FOULIN'.