The Let's Play Archive

Half Life 2

by Cybershell

Part 11




alright sorry for the delay i was just being a lazy cunt


i decide to blast my way through the door. im never going to get good with grenades if i dont practice.


i suffer an acceptable loss of health and press on


i do not like long dark hallways. first of all they creep the piss out of me and secondly my camera has a shitfit and refuses to take a clear picture unless i hold the camera as still as a statue


what are they even doing? are they eating? into what mouth? they covered up the one on the human host's head and their mouth is occupied with said head. perhaps they are just beating the corpses for fun, an activity i can relate too


some of the animations are kind of silly. i mean look he's falling INTO the explosion.


theres coffee but you cant drink any. which is sad because ill bet gordon could really go for a hot cup of java right about now


someone spilled blue on the ground


i realize ive been locked in and am suddenly very very jumpy


you know following a trail of blood seems like the natural think to do but it really isn't that smart of a decision when you think about it


i guess the security guard beat the scientist to death with that grenade then ripped his own spine out, presumably from guilt.


i think i hear noises but i cant tell where theyre coming from


HOLY SHTZDQXDFUDSSHIT!


oh hey nevermind i guess its just a scientist


oops


i guess it WAS just a scientist


maybe i should just walk around with my shotgun out instead of gernades


these dickslimers are pretty much not scary at all. in fact they actually make it seem less scary because they look so stupid.


hahaha guys check it out


hahaha im BEATING THE MEAT


what the hell this place is like a big loop


eventually i notice some vents up on the shelves and stuff


i guess im supposed to stack boxes, so i try and drag them over to the shelf which would be easier if the physics wasnt so shitty. why does everyone say half life 2 has such a great physics engine anyways


NO DONT DO THAT! THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANTED YOU TO DO


come here god damnit


DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME YOU WHORE


well eventually i manage to make it up to the vents


there is a stupid moving platform timing puzzle thing


okay im going to try and jump in


god damnit its going so fast


shit


okay now


fuck


BOLLOCKS


you are starting to piss me off


well EVENTUALLY i made it, thats all you need to know


god damn i hate these stupid dark vents


FUCKEZXdiqh


oh yea valve your SOOOO clever putting an headcrab in the vent


FAGGOTS COME UP WITH SOME NEW SHIT JESUS


oh wow a skull and a femur. that sure is scary valve. you really know how to set the atmosphere


oh wow more jumping why dont i just get out my nintendos sixty two controller since you seem to like platforming so much valve


i find this security guard crying over his dead friend


geez if you miss him that much ill let you be with him


aw isnt that sweet like romeo and juliets


TOO BAD FAGS BURN IN HELL


BOOM FUCKS


haahahhahahahahahhahahhahaahahhaha


sorry bro but thems the breaks