The Let's Play Archive

Half Life 2

by Cybershell

Part 30




welcome back to my ass. the main reason im even updating is just so people dont think im a quitter, which im NOT. i mean do i look like a scientist to you? Anyways for this next part you have to do a whole bunch of bullshit i dont feel describing in detail, so let me give you the abridged version


gay


gay


gay


Hahaha


gay


anyways this next part is pretty gay too. this whole chapter seeems to revolve around the concept that running around dodging helicopter fire is fun, which it fucking isnt.


i come across a dead soldier surrounded by various health items. its not obvious how he died, since theres really nothing around him dangerous in any way except that god damn helicopter. but seriously, you have to wonder. he's next to TWO first aid kids and THREE of those batteries, couldnt he have, you know, USED them?


anyways you gotta run along this ledge here and try and dodge the helicopter fire which is pointless because it's impossible


im not sure what the hell this area is but i dont like it


uh oh guys i better watch out for Aigh Voliage hahaha


on the other hand maybe i actually should


so much of this area is just squeezing through these stupid narrow as shit cliffs. its not fun god damnit. i got stuck and had to reload a previous save twice


oh god. another hole worm. luckily hes not much of a threat because he cant fucking move and he never gets anywhere near enough to hurt you


great more of these useless little shits


and more stupid crawling through tiny holes


hmmm im not sure but something is telling me the next area may not be entirely safe


luckily i can test the area with these little buggers. finally useful for once


yep, thats a mine alright


most of them just come back and try and kill me though


i find a huge turd surrounded by barbed wire. if i took a shit that big id probably want to keep it too


its rock climbing, joel. rock climbing.


that arrow is pointing back where we came from, so i guess that huge dump was actually the SDH


then something exciting happens! no wait actually just more of this shit. anyways i think im almost done with this area


wait a second, this looks familiar.. this is where i fucking started! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, GAME?


god damnit, as you can clearly see i was supposed to take the right crack in the wall earlier instead of the LEFT one. Thanks for being so clear, Valve, you jackasses


anyways i get to take my frustration out on some queergay soldiers i find


maybe you shouldnt throw grenades in here you dumbass


thanks for the arrows, sign. i never would have been able to figure out which wheel to turn without your guidance


oh boy, we get to go down the storm drain hatch.


im excited already


ahhh the beautiful outdoors. a fighter jet flies by but hes too fucking fast to get a picture of. i tried about a hundred times and this was the best picture i could get, its the blur on the right. I SWEAR.


if you move even one inch outside the pipe you get raped in the fucking eyesocket by a turret which is way, way too far away for you to hit


lets just take another moment to admire the scenery whilst hiding behind this rock. although the more i stare at it, the more it starts to look like donkey kong country 3. that is not a compliment.


again, this next part is a pain in the testiclites so i will just summarize it for you


gay


gay


gay


gay


gay


GAY


Hahaha


oh hell yeah, thats what im talkin aboot


eat shit and die


hell yea motherfucker


its time to kick ass and chew bubble-- nevermind i already made this joke


theres some more jumping bullshit and gay ladder climbing. again, not unlike dkc3


fuck you valve. fuck you right up the nose.


what the hell is this, a boot camp? no. im done for now.