Part 35

so i manage to actually land on that roof this time


oh boy. this looks fun.


so im crawling along down these vents or pipes or whatever expecting the usual fare of boring nothingness


when all of a sudden toward the end a soldier opens the back of this pipe and throws one of those exploding backpacks in


now as you may have guessed, this isnt some regular explosion. this is one of those "scripted events"


yes, firey death rushes up the pipe toward you. sure, you can try and walk backwards, but it's completely impossible to get out in time


if only gordon had napalm filled backpacks


the only way you can possibly survive this sequence is if you know about it ahead of time and immediately turn around and start hopping out of the pipe as soon as you hear the soldier opening the door


then jump in and crouch in that water from earlier


it's pretty satisfying killing the fuckhead who threw it in the vent, though


anyways in the next room you can see some soldiers getting brutally raped by a bunch of headcrabs


heh


was it really neccesary? no, but it was fun


eat bee, cock


far be it from me to criticize black mesa's architects, but how exactly is this supposed to be useful?


you have to jump off the railing onto a weird metal pole jutting out into the middle of the room to turn this valve


the best part is if you stand in front the hatch like any normal person would while turning it, it opens up and shoves you off the metal pole thing


fantastic


how did they even get that ladder in there?


dont worry, no giant fireballs in THIS tube


this pipe just leads out into a hallway for some reason


upstairs is a weird empty room that's huge and the walls and floor are solid concrete


there is a broken desk in here too, but seriously. even if the desk wasn't broken and the ceiling wasn't missing, what the hell is up with this room? it's creeping me out


anyways follow me, i need you to open a door downstairs


as you may have guessed, bullets are faster than bees, which leaves me at a tactical disadvantage a lot of the time.


anyways thanks for opening that door


im still gonna kill you though, and theres nothing you can do to stop me. heh heh heh.


i... what? oh you son of a bitch.


you win this round, punk


anyways come on. if you wanna live so bad you gotta work for it


come on you prick! kill them!


UP THERE YOU DUMB FUCKER!!


good work, barney. i give him a congratulatory smack in the face with my crowbar


oh right, that security booth from earlier


fulfill your destiny, barney.


huzzah! the door opens


you know barney, i like you. i like your style. you got spunk, kid. im gonna let you live. however, you do understand i cant just let you walk away, right? you know too much. what if you got captured? itd jeapordize me and this whole operation. dont worry, im not gonna kill you, i got something else in mind.


that should do it. im sure you understand, barney. desperate times call for desperate measures. im sure youll be fine if you just stay there.


anyways good luck with that


oh hey look, some unsuspecting soldiers loitering around. oh well, i guess i gotta kill em.


shit!


hahaha that is fantastic.


ah shit


time for another exciting installment of Run The Fuck Away!


shiiiiit he's right behind me


i dunno, i got some good weapons, maybe i can take on this big blue bastard (or b3)


alright, just gotta wait for the opportune moment


holy shit!


he just flipped a car! how could i ever kill something that can FLIP a CAR???


back to running away. eventually i come to what seems to be a dead end


no time to stop and laugh, i just fire a couple rounds into his corpse for good luck and run past


aha! one of those jumper things


i jump up onto the ledge.


that stupid asshole caught up, but cant figure out how to break open the gate. unfortunately its only a matter of time until he manages to knock it down, so we better hurry up


anyways i really dont know what the fuck this is supposed to be, but i have to get up to that green thing


theres a dead soldier, a radio, and a big fuckin thing. i hear a voice coming from the radio


Gaydio: "Come in! Cooper, do you copy? Forget about Freeman. We're abandoning the base. If you have any last bomb targets, mark them on the technical map. Otherwise, get the hell out of there. Repeat: we are pulling out and commencing airstrikes. Give us targets or get below."


i guess i have to "mark" the "targets" using this big green piece of shit


its about this time that stupid asshole manages to break the door down. however, he doesnt actually walk through it. he just kind of stands where the gate was


anyways i have to pinpoint that big pricks location using these controls, and boy, let me tell you. it is gay


what the fuck is up with these controls? look at all those little buttons or whatever on the right side. why are they there? this panel or whatever only has one function: to move the target left or right. and why the fuck are the left/right controls so far away from the up/down controls? wouldnt it have made more sense to put them, like, together?


well whatever. that looks about right. i guess you just have to hit this button in the middle


yeah blow up you fucker


die you cunt


hells yes


anyways i have to blow up some other shit too. like that big metal door or whatever you see in the background


yeah blow up motherfucka. blow up real good


i gotta blow up that tower too


yea fucker fall over. fall over like a bitch.


i gotta blow up that other wall too.


ta-daaaa. a way out


shit im so smart


anyways this tunnel or whatever is a piece of shit and it falls apart and whatever so you gotta hurry through it


this picture looks more exciting than it actually is


at the end of the hallway theres this. i dont really know why i took a picture of this, but i did, so you have to see it.


jesus fucking christ that chapter is finally over.


well i guess were at that stupid lambduh complex or whatever all those asshole scientests were telling us to go


well a bunch of rocks fall from the ceiling and kill gordon, so this is probably the right place.