Part 52: Episode 52: Ancient CPU: The Castle’s Secret

Episode 52: Ancient CPU: The Castle’s Secret
Brought to you by Atelier Gust- Gust is the name you trust!

Goodness, what’s going on here?
Monetizing this broadcast. Much advertising space available.
Wait, what’s all this? Ad copy? Are we supposed to read this or something?
Yes, got many customers. Seemed very interested in promised content.
U-Um, I’m worried about anyone who’d buy ad space based on what happens in this episode.
W-We’re not doing some of these. I mean there’s an ad here for some kind of naked butler game, who the hell buys crap like that?
Y-Yes, who indeed? I guess we should get this over with.

Video- “Dolphin Fight”

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Feinne’s Notes:
Here are a couple more skills, I use Nepgear and Uni’s Stark Vita the right way this time as well as Blanc, Ram, and Rom’s ridiculously strong Formation Skill. It’s seriously shockingly powerful, you really need to just see it yourself.

Okay, here goes. “Gust Acquisitions- High quality CPU memorabilia at high quality prices!?”
Are you stealing our stuff and selling it again?
No, let you in on trade secret. Bought hundred copies of stuff you buy, flip for huge profit.



Meh. I don’t see anyone.
Souls can’t be seen by naked eyes.
That makes things more difficult. How can we find something invisible?
I bet if I call for her, she’ll wake up or whatever. Hello, Lady Caelus! Lady Caelus, it’s time for school!
M-Maybe I’ll try to sing a song and lure her out that way. Come and play, before our world decays.
Gah, you’re all so noisy. I doubt she’d bother answering you.
Caelus: What is going on over here? It grates my ears.
She seems to have heard us.
Oh. That’s fine. Whatever.
Are you Caelus?
Caelus: Yes. Jeez, I was having such a good nap. However, it seems like the time has come for me to be awakened once again.
Though having eight goddesses come wake me up is unprecedented.

”Lowee- Because all other nations are crap.” Ugh. I feel dirty. How many of these are just straight slander from the CPUs?
I’m pretty sure most of these are Gust’s businesses and that.
But not all!
Well yeah, there’s also games for perverts.



Caelus: I see.
We cornered her, but our attacks went right through her.
We hear you defeated the Deity of Sin in the past.
Please tell us how.
Caelus: I hear several misunderstandings. First, I was not the only one fighting. Three other goddesses aided me.
They all perished in the encounter. Not even their souls remain.
The strength to kill three CPUs…
Caelus: Even after their brave sacrifices, we failed to defeat her. If we had, she would never have reawakened.
What we managed to do was weaken her temporarily so we could seal her away. Nothing more.
But you were able to weaken her, yeah? That means you could actually hurt her? Tell us how you did it, uh, please.
Caelus: It may require you to lose your physical bodies much like myself, or the loss of your friends. Will you still listen?
Yes, please tell us.
Caelus: No hesitation. You truly are young. Very well, listen closely.
We appreciate it.

Okay, here’s one. Though, I don’t really get it. “Axel- This hero’s so dark, he’s gotta wear shades.”
Yeah, what the hell does that even mean? Any ideas, Gust?
Gust remembers man who bought that ad spot. Very stupid, also shirtless. Was very distressing.



Caelus: Physical contact is not possible, no matter the effort exerted. You must throw another will at her.
Can you be less abstract?
You mean like willpower? Like when you wanna eat a whole batch of brownies and take a nap, but you know you shouldn’t?
If you threw that will at her, Arfoire would be cursed to a fate of morbid obesity.
Caelus: The kind of will is irrelevant. It only matters that it is greater than the evil will she is comprised of.
Otherwise, it will be absorbed, as I was.
So we’d lose our bodies?
Caelus: That is the gist of things, and why a strong, united will is necessary.
A strong will… I want to be Gamindustri’s superheroine! That’s probably my strongest one.
Maybe world peace. Probably good business. Definitely money.
I just want to sing and rock out.
You don’t have to worry about us. That part will be easy.
Caelus: Oh?

This one looks like some kind of campaign spot? Some guy whose name I can’t make out, running for some kind of office?
Goodness, I’m sorry mister Val-something! I think Neptune must have spilled something on this one.



How can you say that fluffy crap with a straight face?
I don’t think she’s wrong, though. It’s the greatest feeling we have, and we all share it!
Heck yeah. If Gaminidustri goes kablooey, nobody will get to eat brownies and nap!
We won’t get to play any more games. That would be a major problem.
You’re all so faithful to your base desires. N-Not that I care what you all like to do.
Books.
Caelus: Hmm. These are the current CPUs? If we got along so well in my day, perhaps the result would have changed.
I am too weak to leave this place. All I can do now is watch over your futures from here.
Yes. Thank you very much for your help.

Oh, come on! “Gust Holdings LLC- For all your illegal banking needs.”
That one your oracle’s idea.
It does have the reek of Kei on it.



We did.
Now we’re ready to beat up Arfoire!
A strong mutual feeling? I never imagined such a hokey attribute would become necessary in the end.
Don’t dismiss it so fast. The people’s faith is part of their feelings. Feelings can create immense power.
Then let’s go face her again. But…
The day after tomorrow is the deadline set by the Four Felons. Is our timing good, or is it bad?
IF something happens to all of you, we won’t be able to defend our lands. We must address this issue first.
Basically, we have to beat them all in a single day.
Jeez, you’re slave drivers.
Okay, whatever! Monsters that have been revived are weaker than peons. It’s a basic convention of older JRPGs.
It might not be that simple.

Oh, here’s one that’s alright. “Buy Nisa Sausage, the most heroic food in all Gamindustri!”
What I want to know is why sausages?
Maybe don’t want to know, some things best unknown.



Yuck, that stupid perv. We’ll beat him up so bad he’ll never, ever come back!
Uh-huh.
Brave… I thought we came to understand one another.
You must head out first thing in the morning. Rest well tonight and conserve your energy.
That was my plan…
Staying at a different Basilicom makes me kind of uneasy.
I figured as much and have made arrangements for you all. I am confident you will enjoy it.

Hopefully viewers have stayed around for the obligatory hot springs scene, justifying the huge fee I charged.

Video- “The Obligatory Hot Springs Scene”

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What’s this, a secret justice lair!? It’s so spacious.
Hey, no diving!

Gust is proud to present, the obligatory hot springs scene with limited commercial interruption.



Oh, my. It’s so hot.
Hehehe, excuse my splashing.
I didn’t know there was such a large hot spring here.
Yes, I suppose it’s been a while since I last visited one.
This is pretty nice for Planeptune. But I’m just saying it isn’t awful.
Hey, Neptune. Neptune, hey, hey! Let’s race over there!
Hmph, you dare to challenge me? You’ve got guts, kid. The loser buys everyone else milk coffee. Okay, go!
Hey, no swimming!
Blanc, let me wash your back.
I wanna do it, too.
Not yet. I’ll ask you after I get to a certain level of relaxation.

Oh come on, this one is just you offering to sell creepy photos of us. I’m not reading this.
Good enough just to bring up that I’m offering.



Reading in the bath is cathartic.
Lady Vert, may I wash your back?
What a kind gesture. I won’t stop you.
Sweet! Oh…Lady Vert, these are huge. I can tell even from behind you. I’m really jealous.
Hmhmm. I don’t really think so.
Gust’s judgment places Lady Vert first, Compa in second, Noire in third, and…
Whoa, hey there, what’re you comparing!? Are you seriously talking about boobs?
…Then Rom and Ram, then maybe pane of glass… Last is Nisa, probably.
What!? Mine are bigger than those little kids’. Wait, what was that about a pane of glass?
Jeez, no shouting! I can’t even relax at a hot spring.
Iffy, you should let things go because it’s a hot spring. Relax…relax…relax…
She’s right. Things are going to get hectic again tomorrow, after all.
I know. It’s our last chance to play around, I suppose.

That was awful, never again.
Yeah. Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia, Mark Two: Felons Return!