Part 6: GiftWE MADE IT through the first day, everybody! We sat down at our work desk for a whole 15 minutes, before leaving to go talk to occult store owners.
Yes, we alienated the one guy who was on our side.
No, we didn't remember our one domestic task for the day (getting Grace a movie).
No, we PROBABLY didn't actually do anything to advance our careers.
We're HENRY, we're the PROTAGONIST, and we're SPECIAL, darn it! Let's figure out what that insane cart lady was talking about, and CHARGE INTO DAY 2!
Grace, we already established that Henry snores like a freight train derailing, so you should know we were here (and not, say, at Ms. Jones' house).
In your defense, you specifically requested that we sleep next to you for body heat, and we slept clear on the other side of the bed.
In our defense, that's because we're an emotionally distant wreck of a human being.
Wait, that's not a defense. Oops!
- I'm too weak to talk, I hope you don't mind.
My eyesight is quite blurry, am I going blind?
- No Grace, don't worry or fret.
You're just running a fever,
I can tell from all the sweat.
- Go back to resting, I'll be back later on.
By the time I'm back, the fever will be gone.
I'm really trying not to be unfair to Henry. He can be tender, and, uh... PART of his dialogue is written to imply that he cares for Grace.
Heading downstairs to work...
We see a little girl giggle and run away. Not ominous!
- What the...
As we walk to follow her, the screen shakes and sepia-fies straight into a flashback.
- Our hopes and dreams,
they've been washed away.
Like a filthy cigarette,
snuffed out in an ashtray...
- I can't take your silence,
my soul it is crushing.
Henry I beg of you,
speak to me, say something!
- Say something...
And... we sure don't! Loving Husband Henry, ladies and gentlemen!
You MIGHT go easy on 'ol H, and assume it's because he just can't find the words. Instead of THAT, let's check out Henry's bio on the official I Fell From Grace site!
Henry's Bio posted:Henry, the protagonist, is a tired and jaded man.
Putting on a brave face, doing the best he can.
A brave face, for his slowly dying darling wife Grace,
but it’s taking its toll to watch her deteriorating face.
Secret wishes linger for everything to be done,
so she can meet their unborn daughter or son.
In secret he blames her for what happened that day.
She fell down the steps, her pregnancy went away.
Despite the mounting medical bills and crippling debt,
he puts on his fake smile and tries his best not to fret.
He likes to think that deep down he’s a truly good person.
That remains to be seen when his struggles will worsen.
I don't really even... I mean...
Of COURSE this isn't her FAULT, you BLOCKHEAD. What, you think she tripped on PURPOSE?
I mean, look, it was super traumatic (I guess? We were never really told that you had a HUGE desire for a kid) event, so any feelings are fine but... man, that's NOT a healthy way to think about this.
Not that Henry's healthy in any sense of the TERM, but still... sheesh, dude.
Anyway, having snapped out of our reverie, we return to the present and head outside.
AND RIGHT INTO ANOTHER FLASHBACK!
We're really living in the past these days. Good thing it didn't happen yesterday after handling the box, when it would have made more narrative sense, but when we wouldn't have understood it!
"I can't imagine why you'd be here, days after I asked you to analyze Grace's condition. Because I'm too busy thinking about my tanking career!"
- I got the results back from Grace's blood test.
The news isn't pretty, and hard to digest.
- It's terminal, incurable,
I'm sorry to have to say.
There's nothing we can do,
but to higher powers pray.
- Please, take my car for now,
I'm due a new one anyway.
It'll make things a little easier,
to get home via the highway.
I ask you, does this sound like the guy who would completely dismiss Henry from his life after the guy refused ONCE to not house animals?
This guy is VERY involved and caring for Henry.
Though I suppose, between then and now, he would have gotten to KNOW Henry more, so sure, maybe he's at the breaking point.
HOPEFULLY you remembered that Grace wants her magazines, because otherwise you'd forget to check the mailbox, and then a bunch of triggers wouldn't trigger for today, and you'd waste the better part of 40 minutes just wandering around talking to everybody!
- Hmm what's this then?
A strange looking brown envelope.
With a wax seal at the back,
and symbols from the horoscope.
I think this just means 'mysterious symbols'? And not like, the signs for Leo, Cancer, etc.
YOU PICKED UP A MYSTERIOUS ENVELOPE
- Let's see what's in it,
it's addressed to me.
I can feel a few items,
the size of a pea.
- The letter is in a language I don't recognize.
All the characters seem strange to my eyes.
Henry you big liar, those are all punctuation marks. Somebody is clearly swearing in old-timey cartoons in your mailbox!
- What did that crazy lady speak of last night?
She must have planted this to give me a fright...
- When mysterious writings being to appear,
solve the riddle - it'll be worth it, I swear!
- Well, it seems the mysterious writing has appeared...
God, I don't need some loon making my day weird...
I will grant him this, at THIS point, it does probably seem most likely that this lady was the one who dumped the letter in his mailbox.
YOU GOT A LETTER AND SIX PILLS!
Great! Throw them away immediately! No? We're keeping them?
Oh, I get it. We work at a pharmaceutical place, so presumably we could use some of our know-how to analyze them! Great, let's do that.
Since we're used to the general strategy of the days: wake up -> work -> downtown -> home, we motor off to work
- Henry! Not late as usual, I see?
This rain sucks, on that much we can agree.
How are your legs today?
- How are your legs holding up today?
They look a bit worse than yesterday.
- They're hurtin' real bad man,
and my pills are restricted.
The clinic won't give more,
for fear I'll get addicted!
Stinky Pete is indeed rubbing his legs today.
I hope he doesn't have footrot, like that lady did!
Recognize these tablets?
- Ever seen tablets like these before?
They arrived in the mail, but I don't know what for?
Yeah, Stinky Pete, do you know what these pills are on sight? No they don't have any markings, they're featureless capsules!
- Can't say that I have,
but I'll try one and see.
Maybe they'll help,
with the pain in my knee.
- I don't know if that's a clever thing to do?
It might turn your brains into watery goo.
- Heh, you don't want to know all the unknowns I have swallowed.
I'm desperate for relief, and don't care for what might follow.
- OK, well, remember, you didn't get this from me,
if a doctor asks why there's blood in your pee.
Henry we're not giving one of our six mystery pills to Stinky Pete.
WE DID GIVE A PILL TO STINKY PETE?!
You know, it would be one thing if this was a choice, like, help out 'ol SP but be irresponsible, OR hold off and try to get these things analyzed first.
But no, not only is it performed after merely choosing a prompt to ASK him what they are, you actually HAVE to give him one for the day's triggers to start.
Just so you know, that's our baseline. Giving a guy with messed-up legs a mysterious pill that we FULLY REALIZE could do anything to him, and then just saying "OH WELL DON'T BLAME ME! LATER!"
Henry, ladies and germs.
- Unless I want to live on the street,
gotta run, see you later stinky Pete!
- The only road to salvation is a hard sell,
while all of the others, land you in hell.
Uh. You got kind of creepy there at the end, SP!
- Today they'll assess me on some practical work,
however it isn't at all related to my field of study.
I'll do whatever it takes for me to succeed here.
If I had to, I'd scrub floors 'til my hands are bloody.
That's... admirable, I guess, but also the kind of attitude that gets you walked all over in business, lady.
You should just do what Henry did, and have your dad be friends with somebody who's important!
Also note that the leftmost guy, the jerk, is absent from today's interviews. SOMEHOW his attitude didn't fly.
- I'm really sorry but I can't talk right now.
I've got a very important interview today,
I need to make an impression somehow.
- What do you want Dawn, I don't really have time.
I've got a broken career ladder to try to climb...
I'm on time for the first time in half a year Dawn, don't mess this up for me.
- There's murmurs of some glorious song.
Workers are searching to whom it must belong.
- I've heard some fancy suit folk speaking of that singing voice.
They're offering a reward, find the owner and you'll rejoice.
- What? Singing? What are you talking about?
You're drunk at work again, I've no doubt...
- Check it out yourself if you don't believe me, they're on the second floor!
I'll enjoy you coming crawling back, it's my forgiveness you'll be asking for!
- How did you even find out about this?
You've always got the juicy gossip, Miss.
- The canteen is where you'll overhear everything going on in the area.
There's always juicy details being shared, from infidelity to hysteria.
Yeah, affairs and old-timey medical conditions, all the in FOOD COURT!
- If you're ever unsure about the goings on,
visit the canteen, and often, the doubts will be gone.
Dawn practically turns to the fourth wall and goes THIS ADVICE IS FOR YOU, THE PLAYER. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO THE CAFETERIA AND LISTEN.
And you DO have to! Listening to the cafeteria chatter is ANOTHER requirement for making the story progression flags pop up, along with getting the pills and giving one to Stinky Pete. There are a BUNCH of places you can get lost, today.
So we'll head up to the second floor, and listen in at the cafeteria, first to that lonely lady.
- After my boyfriend and I broke up,
I've been eating lunch alone.
It wouldn't be so bad,
if it wasn't the same at home.
- Every day I dine alone,
people say I'm too much of a moan...
- Have you heard about Cathy on the fourth floor?
She got that promotion because she's a whore.
- You know some workplaces offer staff free food!
I'd bring it up with management, but they're so rude!
True story, I work remote, and at one all-hands meeting, somebody else (NOT me) who also worked remote asked if remote workers could get Starbucks cards, since people that worked in the office got free coffee.
Buddy, working from home is worth MUCH more than all the coffee cards in the WORLD.
- It's really important to me that the meat is ethically sourced.
My manager scoffed and said I was from reality divorced!
But we know that the meat is probably humans! DRAMATIC IRONY!
- You want to pull up a chair and eat?
Having company would be oh so sweet.
Lady, run. Run away and never look back. You don't know what you're saying.
HERE it is. This is the dialogue trigger we need to advance.
Also, just taking a second out here: so working at this company we have:
Chemists, microbiologists, particle physicists, AND camera engineers? WHAT DO WE DO?
And why is it impossible to get fired, even if it's widely known that you murder people, or take upskirt photos.
Or are Henry.
- It wouldn't surprise me,
that guy is a real misfit.
I saw his last psych eval,
it was marked "mentally unfit".
- Apparently, he makes tiny cameras that fit in tubes,
that gets [sic] through tight spaces to catch glimpses of pubes.
- Ok, that's enough, you're killing my appetite.
I won't be able to have one more bite.
- People are always going on about how much gossip happens in the canteen.
But I think the worst offenders are those two by the water cooler, slurping caffeine.
At the... water cooler? Caffeinated water?? I think something is WRONG with this place.
- I mean, you're not wrong. Those two sure likes [sic] a good rumor.
But it's not like the folks in here aren't all a gossip consumer.
And finally, let's see how Doris is d-
- Unless you want you wife to grieve,
if I were you I would leave...
OK! Moving on!
As we go further down the hall, we approach a clique of executives.
- I'm not joking, that singing is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
All of this despite the fact I've yet to make out a single sung word.
- It's peculiar how it can only be heard from the room at the end of this floor.
It sounds so mysterious and inviting... it's stirring my soul's very core!
- I would pay good money to whoever can figure out the words of the song.
I would pay a full 500 dollars, just to finally be able to sing along.
I... how hard to find out can this BE. You're executives, so presumably you would have access to go anywhere?
- Excuse me, I don't mean to sound funny,
but I could really use all that money.
- What is it I need to do?
To get all that cash from you?
- Oh ehm... were you listening to our conversation?
And still you're asking for a short summation?
You must be new to Henry. You'll need to speak slowly and clearly, and repeat yourselves about 15 times.
- Go down to the end of the hallway, and enter the last door.
There you'll find the most beautiful voice you could ask for.
- The singing is coming through the large vent,
we can't make out if it's a song of joy or lament.
- If you can solve the mystery that resides within that room,
I'll give you enough money so you can get rid of that costume.
- Let us know when you solve the mystery of that beautiful voice.
You'll have enough money to buy a nice new suit of your choice.
O....k. Still seems like you could get, I don't know, a maintenance guy or a janitor to tell you where the vent goes, and then look there? I mean, I'd say it's because you don't care enough, but you're willing to pay FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, so... fine. Whatever. Easy $500!
But first, the other guy reading the paper...
- There's an interesting article here on the ongoing police strike.
They're interviewing officers, to get a feel what their job is like.
Ok. Any more dialogue? No, you just repeat that? Ok! Neat!
Before we enter the room with the vent, THE GYM:
- Damn that's clever, you'll be getting promoted for sure!
You'll be known as the financial services branch's savior!
Yeah in case you haven't been paying attention, this company isn't particularly moral. If you weren't paying attention to THIS, don't worry, it'll come up again with some frequency.
- Hey, what's wrong with you? Why so quiet?
Don't tell me you're still on that bullshit diet?
- Oh, sorry... I wasn't listening. Didn't sleep great.
Phone kept ringing all night, I'm so tired, I ran late.
- Who was it that kept on calling?
That really does sound appalling.
- I don't know, it was just raspy breathing on the other end.
It was freaking the kids out, driving me around the bend.
BOY, WHO COULD IT BE.
- I bet that's Doris fucking with you for taking her parking spot!
Just give it back to her, there's lots of room in the parking lot.
Yeah, your friends sussed out this mystery basically instantly. Do you think the lady that waved her own feces at you MIGHT be the one creepy calling you at night?
Do you think it might be time to involve the authorities?
- Fuck Doris and her stupid little mind games!
If she's doing this, her job will go up in flames!
No? Ok, neat! I mean, you're doomed, guy, but now I don't have to feel sorry for you!
Also note that since it's a new day, we can FINALLY explore the conference room!
- Not sure why folders are kept in the main meeting room.
I don't care enough to ask questions, there's a reason I assume.
And I'm so glad we did! More CRUCIAL details!
- I can't make out the lyrics,
the sound is not very clear.
If I could peek through the grate,
I might both see and better hear.
- I have better things to do,
but I'm so easily distracted.
And I do not really know why,
I'm to this sound so attracted.
Hah, well, at least you have an OUNCE of perspective about this, Henry! Not enough to STOP you, of course.
And again, since this is just a thin grating, you could probably just either peek through, or figure out where the grating leads, and go check there. But, adventure games!
- Besides, those execs in the hallway asked me to solve this mystery that gives off joyous chills.
If I solve it, I'll get a lot of money, that I could spend on paying some of Grace's medical bills.
Sure, that too.
The boss is in his office now, but he's not interactable. He rather sensibly ignores Henry, hoping he'll go away.
Say, how is that depressed guy in the bathroom on floor 1 doing?
Still telling his sad tale, one sentence at a time, over a period of several days. That's how they do it in the midwest, you know. It's slow, but honest.
Also, I hate to burst your bubble, but most farmers own some PRETTY sophisticated equipment. Unless we're talking like tiny subsistence farm, farm tech is actually really really advanced.
OK, so we know the creepo is in 206 in the old block. On we waddle!
OK, molecular biologists actually DO fit the profile of what I think this company does. And asking for him to hire a lawyer is pretty pants-on-head stupid.
- But think about all the regulatory red tape she can help you skirt!
Finding legal loopholes, for faster research, surely couldn't hurt!
- Are you listening to yourself speak?
If everyone shared your mind-set,
this world would be pretty damn bleak.
- This world is already pretty fucking bleak.
Trying to be moral, is just making you weak.
Man, I don't know a lot of people who walk around just going YEAH IT'S AN AWFUL WORLD, BUT THE STRONG CAN PROFIT. It's just too depressing to live that way.
I HAVE met people like the shower group, who do awful things but frame it in terms of personal success. It's not a GREAT life, but at least they aren't drowning in cynicism?
I bet not, lady. Those are called derivatives, and you have to wait until the main drug's patent expires to even start PRODUCING them. Believe it or not, patent law has caught on to SOME things.
Water cooler gossips!
Keep in mind that these people were ALSO pointed out to us from the cafeteria. Which is, again, good, because while this conversation doesn't trigger a flag, trying to find this bit of the puzzle without them requires a random search. And this place is GIANT.
- This place is crumbling,
really falling apart.
The new block is great,
really state of the art.
- Every time the alarm goes off,
he needs to come down here.
And manually reset the system,
then walk all the way back up there.
Hmm, sounds like a hint!
- Speaking of awful fire safety,
this one really is a disgrace.
The trigger in room 306,
has no glass in the first place.
- So you could trigger the alarm,
and no glass would need to shatter.
You could just set off a false alarm,
and no one could prove the matter.
Oh for crying out LOUD. Sure, ok, thanks for telling me where it is, but what a weird, unnatural conversation. Hey, I heard that COMBINING A FISHING ROD and a MAGNET can help you GET LOST KEYS OUT OF A GUTTER, like the ONE OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT BUILDING. Thanks.
Sorry dude, I WISH. I have daily thrills from almost getting fired. So chin up, you're doing WAY better than me!
OK. 206. Let's charm this guy.
There you go Henry, just let him pretend he's just...
- I just have a passion for the female physique,
from lanky legs to rosy butt-cheeks.
- Is what I'm doing really that wrong?
Sure it's illegal, but I was always headstrong.
Ah. Well, so he's not misunderstood at all! Great! We're still going to buddy up to him, since he has something we NEED, of course.
- I need your help with something,
I hear you have special tools.
Tools we shouldn't be using,
according to corporate rules.
- In order to solve a mystery,
I need to peek through a vent.
I need to make out the words of a song,
my curiosity is set in cement.
- Spying on singing? Sure whatever you say.
I've got just what you're looking for, you can borrow it for today.
This guy sizes Henry up as a fellow creep instantly, and assumes we're using it to spy on ladies. Fine, we can work with that.
- This snake camera will do the job,
it's practically brand new.
It'll reach through any vent,
and has a microphone too.
How... how do you use this to take upskirt photos in the women's res-never mind, I don't actually want to know.
YOU PICKED UP A SNAKE CAMERA
- Of course if you want to borrow this,
and enjoy my hobby that's so rewarding.
You'l have to press the "rec" button too,
and share with me the recording.
Great! I'm sure nobody will notice this camera-snake eye emerging from the vents!
Hey, you know... isn't there a janitor's office near Harris's office...
Yeah, there we go! Let's spy on Harris too!
I uh... is... this a bad time...
- I know deep down it won't be long,
before I do something very wrong.
- Whoever my victim,
on the woman I'll prey.
She had better wish for mercy,
she should already start to pray.
Ok, so since we recorded that, we should probably ABSOLUTELY go to HR with this! Right!?
No? Not an option!
Neat. Ok, well now we know of TWO psychopaths working here, as well as a pervert. Henry's ability to combat any of the horrible things he sees is just officialy 0.
- What the fuck... that guy'll end up running amok...
Yeah. ALMOST SEEMS LIKE YOU COULD WARN SOMEBODY???
Try to spy again...
- I'm not doing that again,
if he sees me I'll end up slain...
OK, so we run back to the vent on the good side of the office, and use the snake-cam.
Any guesses? Taking all bets?
- Making life a pleasure,
taking away the pressure.
- No more tactless lying,
to nosy neighbors prying.
- No more late night driving,
to remote dumpsites arriving.
- Bodies before in bin bags dying,
now instead in pots are frying.
- Business is booming thanks to you,
after all man goes great in a stew.
- Little dream machine of mine,
meat grinding wonder,
manufactured by Stein.
Stein! (registered trademark, not for use on humans)
Yeah, no real big surprise there, I guess.
Though, uh, how DID she get the bodies into the kitchen? Were they workers here? Did she kill them and drag their bodies in? With no questions? And how has nobody at all been back there? Aren't there security cameras? Who IS that guy? A hobo? How is she always at the counter when we go in the cafeteria, but also singing in the kitchen? What about the bones? I don't care how good your meat grinder is, if you're grinding up friggin' FEMURS, that's going to... oh who am I kidding.
At least she has a nice voice!
Well, ok, now I'm fairly sure we're OBLIGATED to
Yes, I think that HUMAN HEAD was probably from a human person, Henry.
Now trot along, we've got to file a police re-
- I can't tell anyone about what I have just seen...
Lest I'll be the next victim in Doris' crime scene...
Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD.
Yeah I really can't identify with Henry. You have THE LAW on your side, Henry!
This camera RECORDS THINGS. This was SPECIFICALLY POINTED OUT to us! Go to the police! Or HR? I don't care if the local police are all on strike, there's a lady at the desk! If not them, I'm sure SOMEBODY would want to stop the lunch lady LITERALLY GRINDING UP BODIES in her cafeteria!
Heck! Go out and tell the executives that you found out it was Doris who was singing. I'm pretty sure they don't know who you are, so take the $500, and let THEM investigate! Worst case, she guts them instead of you! It's foolproof! YOU COULD GET THE MONEY STILL!
- Wait a minute, what else did that crazy lady from last night say?
It was so bizarre sounding, I can still remember it as clear as day...
- Remember, solve the riddle before it's too late.
You can change the course of humanity's fate...
- The flesh of man torn asunder, for the ignorant to eat...
That's when the time is right to seek help, before you're obsolete...
Yeah we figured that out last night, Henry. Try to keep up.
- She could have planted that letter to freak me out and be mean...
But there's no way she could have orchestrated what I've just seen!
Gasp it's all true.
- So, if it's time to seek help, who could assist me?
There's a linguistics professor at work, but where could he be?
I'm sorry, there's a WHAT? This place employs chemists, microbiologists, particle physicists, camera engineers, and LINGUISTS? How have you NOT realized that this place is Umbrella corp?
- I guess I should seek him out, I'm sure he'll calm me down.
I'm veering off my job tasks, but I'll just risk my boss's frown...
I guess it's at least comforting to know that executives here ALSO don't do any work.
- I uhm... no I wasn't able to figure any of it out.
I couldn't understand what that singing was about.
- Another one bites the dust guys.
Come on let's get going here,
we've got research to analyze.
Oh, never mind. They DO work. We're back to being the worst!
OK, so there's no real hand-holding guides for where to go next, but the receptionist would LOGICALLY be a good place to find out where people are.
Yes, not only do we employ a linguist, it's an ANCIENT LANGUAGES SPECIALIST.
This PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY.
Gah, why do I bother?
- The office of linguistics is still in the old block.
If you try to get hold of them, you're in for a shock.
- The residing professor never answers the phone anymore.
If you want to talk to him you'll have to go knock on his door.
Do we even have a phone?
- His office is located in room 302,
now go away, I'm busy, shoo!
Since we're going to be over there anyway, why not return the snake camera?
Buddy, I TOLD you it was going to be singing.
- Ehm... erm... no sorry,
I didn't see a thing.
The room was empty,
no one there to sing...
- GET THE FUCK OUT!
Was this a HR stakeout?!
Yikes! Well, I guess we can't give it back. Like the guest ID card, it's ours forever.
Like, that he's... doing to himself? To somebody else? That he'd do to you?
Well whatever, just another horrendous crime to be courageously ignored!
So the language professor is... being guarded? He's on the other side of Joe on the third floor.
- Almost back to normal,
or as normal as can be.
I think the asbestos,
is slowly killing me...
- Lets just hope they soon finish the move.
Once in the new office block, your health will improve.
Everybody that works here is going to die painfully! And I guess nobody has ever heard the words "class action"
I'm looking for the linguistics office
- I'm looking for the linguistics office,
is it not on this very floor?
I have something important to show,
they'll be like kids in a candy store!
- I can't let you pass,
as access is restricted.
Their work is top secret,
as on this sign depicted.
Man what. What that's top-secret is an ancient languages expert doing? I mean, I joke about us being an evil corporation but, do we really have like glowing sumerian tablets back here?
- What could possibly be so secret,
about linguistics research here?
Have they found the secret to eternal life,
in the works of Shakespeare?
- I don't ask any questions,
to stand here I get paid.
To know what goes on around here,
is beyond my pay grade.
Can't you let me by?
- Can't you just look the other way?
Come on Joe, show some leeway.
- I guess all the talk of your work ethics are true.
Turn around and walk away, your presence here is undue.
I mean, all the talk ABSOLUTELY is true, but this is more just being over-privileged than having a poor work ethic.
Why so grumpy?
- Woah, woah, why so grumpy?
Your week must be really bumpy.
- Just because I'm security,
doesn't mean I hate my work.
I take pride in what I do,
and don't need your condescending smirk.
You should ALWAYS assume Henry has a condescending smirk when talking to anybody that isn't his superior. That's when his grovellin' face comes out.
- Don't think for a second,
that you and I are friends.
I won't put my job on the line,
for your career to get dividends.
- See you later gator
Hahaha. "I don't like you, I won't help you, leave." "LATER POTATER!"
Yeah just like they told us downstairs, you can trigger the alarm here. Just... assume that Joe doesn't notice you walking into the room with the busted fire alarm in it, OR doesn't put two and two together when the klaxons start screaming.
TRIGGER FIRE ALARM
I really do think the dev assumes that again is pronounced "uh-gain". So I guess we're dealing with a fancy guy in a tuxedo and spats?
He's down resetting the fire alarm for infinite time, he only resumes his position when you leave the floor. Notice the light on between the bathrooms. The lights flare on and off, and a VERY VERY LOUD alarm sounds constantly. It's loud enough to be jarring, given the softness of the other music in the game.
Sure would be annoying to have to trigger this every time we want to get past Joe!
- They don't even give the security guards chairs to sit on.
It's little wonder all their work moral is completely gone!
Of course, we wouldn't be Henry without some obsessive exploration!
- This plant has a very synthetic feel.
It's most likely because it isn't real...
- They used to do quality assurance at these workstations.
Back then it was important to adhere to industry regulations...
- These filing cabinets are still filled with old reports.
Assessments of many differing drugs of all sorts.
Oh! Can I look for a description of my mystery pi.... no. Ok.
"Ah, the good 'ol days". One of the four or five sentiments that we will hear probably 50 times in this game.
- Nothing new or interesting inside.
Same junk that is always supplied...
Henry is the kind of guy who looks for novelty in vending machines, and is actually disappointed when it isn't there.
The artist, at this point, FINALLY gets tired of drawing useless crap, so we get a TRULY empty office.
Does... this floor literally JUST contain the lingust?
If he's so important, why hasn't he been moved yet? We were told that basically anybody who was anybody was moved literally years ago. There are much more secure places in the new building! I just...
Dr. Livingstone, I presume?!
- This guy has his own printer?
He must be a real winner...
Henry, your definition of success is the saddest thing I've seen all day, and I've literally seen a guy get murdered and made into bratwurst.
- So many foreign language books, I'm really impressed!
To learn these many languages, you have to be obsessed!
Henry thinks being good at your job requires some kind of weird obsession.
I'M of course much more interested in how DAPPER this guy is!
(Yes, I noticed that he's dressed all in purple. Kind of a theme coming through here. It also doesn't erase how impeccable his fashion sense is! He COULD have been in a purple t-shirt!)
Are you the professor of Linguistics?
- Are you the professor of Linguistics around here?
I would love it if you could lend me your ear.
- You have found whom you're looking for, but I'm very busy.
My workload is so high, I'm almost feeling dizzy.
"Or it could be the asbestos! Hey, don't you need clearance to be here?"
Nice office you've got here
- Nice office you've got here, I love all the greenery.
Almost makes for pleasant indoor scenery[
- Why thank you very much, that's so kind of you to say.
My daughter gets me a new one, for each father's day.
Can you help me with this letter?
- Please, it will only take a sec.
I just want you to this letter check.
- Wait, aren't you Henry from the first floor?
I heard you wouldn't help your own mentor no more.
- Yes you're the guy, that wouldn't store some animals in cages.
I won't do you any favor even if you beg me for ages.
Ha ha haaa. I love seeing Henry's despicable character and reputation cause him more grief!
- Well, erm.. the situation was a bit more complicated,
but I accept that my actions have my mentor frustrated.
- Well, what about if I do a favor for you first?
Then will you help me quench this curiosity-thirst?
- Hmm ok, there's one thing you could help me with.
But you would need to get it done forthwith.
Except when it turns out that the punishment is more adventure game-style puzzles. Booooo.
- I lost my RC plane somewhere out the back.
If I don't find it soon I'll have a panic attack.
- Find it for me and bring it back here.
Then I'll make the mystery of your letter disappear.
- Gotta go, yo!
This seems like YET ANOTHER problem you could probably get the janitorial staff or maintenance to handle. I mean, sure, they might not appreciate being sent on errands like this, but if this guy is important enough to merit a personal guard, I'm sure they could swing SOMETHING.
Henry's dangerous obsession with dead plants is second only to his obsession with smelling rotten garbage and saying it smells like urine.
One last office on this floo-
Yeah, obviously, the SHOPPING CART is the interesting thing in this room.
And it IS! There's no way to interact with, or even comment on, the GIANT NEON GREEN BUBBLING VAT just chilling here. Sure, sure, thinks Henry. Vats. Seen a bunch. But this SHOPPING CART?! WEIRD!
Ok. Down we go. If we need to get out back, we MIGHT try to ask the cafeteria, or the receptionist, or go out front and sneak around, or do any number of other things that waste a huge amount of time. Nope!
Let's talk to the janitor!
Can you empty my trash can?
- Could you empty my trashcan?
It's overflowing with papers.
If it gets any fuller,
it'll overtower skyscrapers.
- Bit of an exaggeration,
wouldn't you agree?
You should try to relax,
have some green tea.
- I'm a bit on edge today,
I was snooping around the canteen.
You couldn't in your wildest dream,
imagine the things I have seen.
I saw a dead guy! I'm grumpy! Do my chores!
I'm literally carrying around a human skull, a big pipe, and a cinderblock! Don't mess with me!
I need to get to the back side
- I need to get to the back side, in order to do a colleague a favor.
If you knew how to disable the back exit alarm, you'd be a real life saver.
- No need to disable anything,
that alarm hasn't worked for weeks.
I sneak out there all the time,
to grow some lovely leeks.
Nothin' like some good 'ol work onions.
- The soil out there is really soft,
where the fence meets the woods.
There's also a hole in the fence,
that's used by Harris to smuggle goods.
- You can use that same fence hole,
to get to the parking lot unseen.
Or to sneak in work after hours,
just don't make it a routine.
Or do! I'm a janitor, not a cop.
Harris smuggles goods?
- Harris smuggles goods?
What kind are we talking about?
Something highly illegal,
I'd imagine without a doubt.
- I try not to meddle, but it looks like drugs.
He gets them off of shady looking thugs.
- Gotta run and get some work done!
And sure enough, we can now go outside!
And engage in our favorite pastime! (I genuinely don't know if this means Doris is disposing of bodies, or just that Henry loves smellin' gross stuff)
Heading over to the left, we find the promised shortcut to the parking lot. This DRASTICALLY reduces the distance from Henry's office to the car, and for that reason alone, I'm glad of it.
But we need to head RIGHT...
Janitor was right, it's a real forest out here...
- When that happens, the windowless old block goes pitch black.
It's impossible to see where you're going, you can't see jack!
Past the transformers...
- I'll have to find a ladder,
if I want to get it down.
If I do not find one quickly,
its owner will have a meltdown.
Henry, no you don't.
Look at that thing! It's BARELY higher up than your head!
It's CLEARLY within arm's reach!
Henry you might have to HOP a LITTLE. But that's IT.
Your job is DONE, Henry!
Look, we'll get it down with the fishing pole. Just knock it free!
Okaaaaay... the pipe?
Have to get that LADDER, huh. Neat.
(Further still to the right - as far as you can go
Of course Henry's mind naturally goes there.
- Though with my like I'd get caught and branded a peeping tom for life...
I'm just inquisitive and curious, but that would never fly with the wife...
Henry is such an unbelievable liar that he immediately makes an excuse TO HIMSELF, IN HIS INNER DIALOGUE, DIRECTLY AFTER ADMITTING THAT HE WOULD DO THIS TO LOOK AT OFFICE SEX.
I'm not very fond of Henry, is this coming across?
"Fortunately", we grabbed that old man's telescope... (wait why did HE have it?)
Nothin'. I suppose I should be grateful.
Well, I'll take the telescope with me when I go, so it doesn't get swiped.
We already KNOW where the ladder is, we saw it in the janitor's office.
- I don't know about that Henry,
I need my ladder all the time.
There's so much janitorial stuff,
that requires me to climb.
Bulllllloney. Come on man, we need it for 5 minutes. I mean, we don't NEED it at all, but, you know. Adventure game.
- It'll only take a few minutres,
and I'll return it right away.
Just go for your lunch break,
your workday won't see a delay.
- I'll tell you what, we can make a deal,
if you'll go and get me some lunch.
I guess given the time of day,
it would really be a brunch.
- I only want one thing though,
and I don't need no apertif.
Bring me back a big sandwich,
filled with juicy roast beef.
NO apertif?! You PHILISTINE!
- Roast beef sandwich? Got it!
I'll be back with it in a bit.
OK, so obviously going to Doris is right out. We'll hop in the car, and head to the convenience store in town, which specifically mentioned having pre-made sandwiches!
Hm. I... I don't seem to be able to... interact with them.
Trying to use money on them doesn't work, using money on the shop owner likewise doesn't work. Neither does talking to her...
Why are we back here?
Henry, this is the second floor, where are you....
HENRY. GET AWAY FROM HER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HENRY? YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY OFF YOUR TAB!
GOOD ADVICE HENRY!
- I'll have the roast beef sandwich please,
I'll have it to go, to give you some ease.
- You're not getting anything,
until you settle your tab.
Run along little boy,
got [sic] back to your lab
Well, darn. Guess we'd better head back to the conv-
- I know a food inspector,
his name is Hugh.
Maybe I should call him,
have him come test your stew?
- Maybe I should ask him to bring cops too.
I think they'd be interested in your special brew.
- I don't know what you're talking about,
or what strange ideas you conceive.
But sure take that sandwich,
never come back, just leave.
- GO AWAY,
OR YOU'LL PAY
After being too afraid to tell OTHER PEOPLE about Doris singing for FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, for fear that somehow that would get traced back to you.
You WALK RIGHT UP TO HER, and tell her in no uncertain terms that you know what she's doing, for a FREE ROAST BEEF SANDWICH!?
You're dead Henry, I mean.
You understand that you've killed yourself here. Unless you go to HR/the police, which you CLEARLY won't do.
No, there is no other way to solve this puzzle. No, I don't remotely understand. Yes, they made a big point of how the convenience store has sandwiches (and you can in fact buy one later!)
Alright then! Sandwich in hand, back we go!
- You're very dramatic Henry,
I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
You're free to borrow my ladder,
this sandwich looks really rad!
Believe it or not, buddy, I'm actually underselling what I did to get this sandwich.
(You, of COURSE, leave the ladder there, and can't pick it up and give it back to the janitor who claims to need it all the time. You can go out yourself and get it, peon!)
Much, MUCH more than it should have been!
YOU GAVE THE LINGUISTICS PROFESSOR HIS RC PLANE
- Oh thank heavens, you really saved the day!
This is the birthday present for my daughter Fay.
- Her birthday is today,
and I was testing this out.
To ensure all was working,
making sure she won't pout.
Daughter's birthday is today. Awww.
- You kept your end of the bargain,
and I will keep my part as well.
Leave that letter with me,
its enigma I will dispell.
YOU GAVE THE LINGUISTICS PROFESSOR THE MYSTERIOUS LETTER
Henry, you useless sack of potatoes, the internet BARELY exists, and you're already just using it to check out whatever proto-espn.com exists in this era rather than try to salvage your broken career.
I mean, I guess it doesn't matter NOW, since you'll be getting dismembered shortly, but.
We settle down to work, and...
- Blessings upon you son,
A miracle is about to be done!
- Who... who the hell are you?
Did you my house break into?
Yes Henry. It's a burglar. Full marks.
- My name is Michael,
I'm an angel of God.
When the plans for you were foretold,
the angels of heaven awed.
Upon hearing that he's special, Henry eagerly walks forward.
- This letter holds the key to the salvation of Grace.
It may even save the entire human race.
- This is the same letter I got in the mail.
Are the tablets part of your promised grail?
- All will become clear,
just follow you [sic] heart.
God is guiding you,
from the very start.
Then, with a sudden snap...
- Oh, it's you, and who is your friend then?
Have you come to share more riddles again?
Henry walks over to the kids.
- There are no riddles here Henry...
Tread lightly in the coming days, and you might just see the light.
- Things are not always what they seem, and those that mean good, sometimes mean harm.
Find the six keys, and be careful of the black spots in the ceiling...
Black spots we knew. Keys are... new.
- It's good to see you again Henry.
Then, with another snap:
- Your miraculous gift to Grace, will be a gift to all of mankind.
You have heavenly protection, but it requires faith that's blind.
Well, bad news. Henry is ABSOLUTELY self-involved enough to believe that he's some special boy, but he's also completely craven and faithless, and isn't going to do any praying of any kind to ANYONE.
So, INTERESTING. We've got the old "two mysterious messengers, each claiming that the other is trying to mislead you" scenario. Was the angel the illusion, or the demon?
I mean, meta-gaming, my money is probably on the one who asked for blind faith, but...
We fade to black
Of course. Henry can't so much as sit down for a mild work session without immediately falling asleep FOR THE ENTIRE AFTERNOON, EVENING, AND NIGHT. This is very significant for reasons I'll point out shortly.
- Time to see what groundwork has been done on my strange letter.
Once I know what that's all about, I'm sure I'll feel so much better.
- That was a crazy dream I had,
I'm working too hard, turning mad.
Sorry, Joe, gonna have to pull the alar....
Oh, he's not here. Neat!
- Nothing to see here Henry,
move along be on your way.
Don't come snooping and prodding,
get back to your work day.
- What's happened? What's going on?
Is this a crime scene I've come upon?
- Looks like the professor couldn't handle the stress.
He trashed his own office leaving quite the mess.
- He left a note behind that isn't his reasons revealing.
It's just going on about black spots in the ceiling.
Oh no! We gave the poor man a copy of the script!
Black spots.... hmm.
If the angel gave us the note, it was clearly meant to be deciphered, and clearly had some, uh, bad which means both the angel AND the kids are trying to warn us about them.
Also, whatever was on that note has to be pretty... grim, I'd say, for a devoted father to suicide on the very day of his daughter's birthday!
I... can't actually think of many things that would make a guy do that (assuming it isn't some mind control thing).
Still! A decent moment. YOU goons are so savvy you probably say this coming a mile away, but it took ME by surprise.
Join us next time for...
what we REALLY did?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
Coming to the office, you see, is the WRONG choice. Oh don't get me wrong, everything that we did this update is going to HAPPEN.
It's just that sitting at your desk makes you sleep through the NIGHT, so now it's day THREE.
Meaning you miss out on all of day 2's events in town, without a prompt to do so.
Meaning you're actually locked out of the true ending.
It's KIND OF a cheap, crappy trick.
So, next time, we'll show what happened downtown during day 2, where we REALLY went. THEN we go to the office, and everything plays out identically to how it happens here.
Why yes, I DID do this my first playthrough! Yes it IS kind of a crappy way to structure things!
I FELL FROM GRACE, everybody!
Sass from librarians!
Improbable marital disputes!
Hilariously depressing flashbacks!
Possibly the most unlikely side-quest reward ever!