Part 59: Episode XLVII: Here Lies Kir. He Never Scored
Weve crossed off two side quests. Five more to go. The shaky, alcoholic hand of democracy has dictated the next side quest we tackle is for... Kir. Who managed to beat out Aeterna by a single vote. Absurd.
Music: The Enchanted Sanctuary
Kirs backstory development hasnt budged an inch since he left Hiddbury. So naturally, his side quest will return him to his home
Before we get things underway speaking with Chief Jak, lets do a tiny bit of housekeeping from our plunders in the Fridging Caves and slaying the dragon manifestation of Reapers angst. Carved off bits of the Dysphormic Monster are quite lucrative, as it turns out. And the incidental materials we found along the way are enough for a couple more additional spritnite. Both for Aeterna. Such as...
A tech that straight up is an ON-Switch for the otherwise utterly unreliable Singularity system. Spiffy. A shame it costs nearly half her total MP. But I reckon thats why theres all the nearly busted MP regaining Support Spritnite at this stage in the game. Since Singularities greatly increase the chance of getting a Flux bonus at the end of a battle, this Tech is fairly essential in getting the achievement for gaining 200 Fluxes during the course of the game.
For reference: I currently have 55 Fluxes the entire playthrough with like three hours of gameplay before Ive wringed out all of the content the game has to offer...
Aeterna can also manipulate time to double the length of status buffs. This can be used in tandem with say Endirs Battlecry to make most bosses even more of a complete joke, if thats your sorta thing.
Finally, before we get back on track, lets grab another scythe for Dingus arsenal. This is going to drop us back below the half-million gold mark, Reaper. It better be worth it.
Well... I suppose its better than the last couple of offerings. But its still not great. It looks less a scythe and more a malcontent wizards staff, if you ask me. But whatever... Lets get a move on.
To begin Kirs side quest, we need the little squirt in the active party and he needs to be dragged back to Chief Hydors tent for a pow-wow.
Music: The Warmth of Life
Heheh! Long time no see... Howve you been?
Were you not on your way to the Last Lands?
*heavy frowning* Yeah, what about that, Kir...?
Well, yeah... but with everything thats happened...
Surely you do not mean to say you grew homesick?
No, no! Its not that... Its just that were going to be facing a pretty tough battle... So right now were trying to see if we can find some more powerful spritnite stones... And this is the only place I know, after all!
Youre doing the stones thing again.
It just sounds right now...
*slow disapproving head shake*
*rubs chin* Spritnite stones, you say... I am afraid all the ones found here grant no great powers.
Right... yeah, sure...
You hear that? We should probably move on back to the Last Lands to fi
However, although I have no spritnite to give you... I may be able to introduce you to some powerful allies.
I swear if it is that moron covered in bird poop...
They arrived here not long ago, and have been helping us repel the monsters. Anyway, it shall be far simpler if you meet them for yourselves. They should be by the Spritnite Pillar...
Alright, then. If you say so... Back we go to the Spritnite
...Surprisingly enough, actual new characters are hanging out here. Judging by the hair colors... I really hope this isnt a group of magical girls pissed that Kir has been pilfering their enchanted rods all game.
Are you who Hydor was talking about? Our new allies?
*rapidly nods* Allow us to introduce ourselves... I am Syg, the eldest of us three sisters.
Im Quotra, the second eldest!
And this is Tronne, the youngest.
So the youngest sisters pretty quiet, huh?
Yeah... dont worry about her. Shes got a fear of strangers.
Yall have a bad run-in with a cotton candy machine or...?
*puffs up* I never expected our new allies would be three sisters...
Oh, I get it! You must be Kir! Its an honor to meet you, young hero.
! H-hero? Me?
That right? What kind of... heroic exploits has Kir embarked on...? I heard a rumor he had a chance to be a hero... Something involving a catapult... But he rejected glory.
*sweats* Dont mind him.
We have heard about you from Hydor... how you saved the village from great danger!
*sweats* Oh, well... but me, a hero...? I mean, I guess I helped out... but I didnt really do much...
Thats an understatement...
*punches in the arm* QUIET!
*laughs* Hah... Look at him getting all shy!
You just be quiet, old man!
Yeah, gramps. Dont cockblock the kid just cuz your romance petered out decades ago.
Everyone, look out! Monsters!
No... I think its just bad dye jobs...
No. Behind us!
Music: No Turning Back
Hey, you all almost look half-way cool in this team pose. So what monstrosity is challenging the gang this go around...?
...Oh. Its just a walrus. I dont think these things have been able to inflict damage for a good ten hours. Much less stand up to more than a single attack. Not much of a threat...
Oh. I guess Julienne agrees as she just wordlessly stabs the Waloompa directly in the face, killing it instantly. Julienne deserves to be in a better game. I bet shed get along with Caim...
The party rolls out off-screen to fight other monsters. Kir lingers behind as a rogue bird attacks the anime girls...
Augh! More of them!?
Dont worry, leave them to us!
Wowie! I couldnt see what you did... But Im still IMPRESSED!
*trudging back in* I cant believe we wasted our time on that for 5 EXP and a fossilized pinecone...
The rest of the party wanders back...
A perfectly synchronized attack. Just as one would expect from three sisters, I suppose...
Ehh... its alright. Aeterna, Setsuna and I can bust out a way better triple-tech and were not related...
...Right? Its been a weird trip.
I assure you Im not related to any of you...
! Y-you three... Are you... rare-bloods...?
You could tell, huh? You sure are sharp!
We are indeed what the humans call rare-bloods, like the people of your village. However, we are not exactly the same. A subtype, if you will...
Our magic powers really strong, and it seems we live longer than you, too.
That was amazing, though... When Hydor said you were powerful allies, he wasnt joking!
Yeah, well... monsters like that are no sweat for us once we get serious...
Were level... 32.
Kir, youre Level 41 and you havent fought a battle in weeks...
*nods* Thanks. Im sure everyone in the village really appreciates your help!
*shakes head* We are guests in your village. This is the least we can do to repay you.
Anyway, Hydor asked us to patrol around here... We better have another look around and make sure no more monsters have snuck in.
Please excuse us...
The girls depart.
What!? Dont be so cold, Endir! You can at least hear me out, cant you?
Lets hear what he has to say, Endir.
Setsuna, hes just gonna ask if those weirdo girls can join the party.
Hey! Theyre not weirdoes! Youre the weirdo! You and that mask! And... n-no...! I mean... maybe but... okay. Hear me out...
Those three sisters... how about we get them to join the sacrifices guard?
Join the sacrifices guard...?
Well, I guess it aint a bad idea... They did seem pretty damn strong... Theyd probably be a lot more help than any spritnites ever gonna be!
*shakes head* Im against it.
Time has been wound back all these times, and those girls were never part of the guard... not once. Thats my reason.
Also theyre creepy... Like whats up with the one that doesnt talk?
Why does that matter!? Endirs the same, isnt he? This is the first time coming on the journey, right?
Those girls are probably special, like Endir! Theyre like our ultimate allies, sent here to help us accomplish our mission!
Kir, I know youre thirsty. But if you compare me to your waifu harem like that again, Im gonna slap you upside the face so hard youll grow a second tail.
*frown* OK... But... But what if they all added up to like one more Endir? Think how much of a help thatd be!
*crosses arms* When you put it like that, it does kinda sound like a good idea...
Exactly, old man! I know theyll help our journey succeed!
Well, Im still against it. Definitely. What about you, Endir?
Im against it.
What!? Aww... I thought it was a great idea...
Like I said, theyre creepy. And look, Ive done this kinda thing a lot more than you. You NEVER get three interchangeable looking siblings to join a quest. Theres only two ways itll pan out: two of them will die tragically or all three of them are evil.
Thats ridiculous, Endir! They just helped us against those monsters!
Those were like Level 5 creatures. A brief downpour of snow could have killed them...
Well, why dont we ask them what they think?
Yeah, right... Even if we do ask them to join us, we dont know whether theyll agree or not.
Really? Lets at least try asking them, then!
*jumps* All right! Lets go ask them now! Come on! No time to waste!
*rubs eyes* This is how were all going to die... Wasting time getting Kir a girlfriend as Dark Samsara awakens...
Alright. Back to town we go... You voted for Kir and this is what you get...
Music: The Enchanted Sanctuary
Aha! Here they are! Hydors here too... Perfect! Huh? But wheres the youngest sister?
I believe she returned to the Spritnite Pillar after we finished patrolling. She seems to have taken quite a liking to it...
*whispers to Nidr* Shes gonna end up dead. If shes not dead, then theyre evil. Ill bet you 5000 G shes dead.
*strokes beard* Yeah, alright... Im in. 5000 G shes fine and youre paranoid.
Oh, right. Oh well... Say, weve got something we want to talk to you about...
I cannot believe you hooligans would wager on the fate of potential allies.
...5000G on evil.
*smirks* I knew I liked you.
We too have something to talk to you about... From what I hear, it seems these girls know Tor.
Tor!? My brother Tor!?
...Kir had a brother?
Yes. Remember, he was that ghost?
Oh... Vaguely. RIP.
Long story. Dont worry about him. He was is no longer in this world.
He saved us when we were captured by a group of cruel humans.
He was a great guy... It was Tor who told us about this village, too.
When we learned of his death, we were all overcome with grief.
So what was it you wanted to say?
Oh, right... Well, we were wondering if you three would join the sacrifices guard...
Us? Join the sacrifices guard?
Really? You want us coming along?
If you dont want to, thats fine.
*shakes head* Endir is merely questioning their resolve. If they were to accompany us half-heartedly, it could have grave repercussions for us all later on.
Athenian Waters are expensive and Im the only one with a Life spell. Youve gotta earn that business...
Still, theres no need to say it like that...
Forget it, kid. Thats just the kinda guy Endir is.
If they cant handle him being mildly dismissive and rude, theyre better off not joining.
See? This guy gets me.
If you would be willing to have us join your guard, then we shall do so happily.
*surprised* Really? So youll come with us, then?
You got it... Master Kir!
*puffs up* Heheh... Master Kir... No, no...
I already hate all of this.
I cannot believe we are squandering Eutess gift with... this...
Sorry, but can I talk to you alone for a minute?
? Oh, sure... What did you wanna talk about?
Like... over here, alone. Away from your traveling humans.
Oh... right. Hehehe.
Were happy to be of help... but Im worried, too...
Oh, you dont need to worry... my companions are all great people!
But theyre humans, right? Weve had nothing but bad experiences with humans... So up until now, weve never trusted anyone except each other.
*shakes head* Well, sure. There are lots of bad humans, thats certainly true...
I got kidnapped by one as soon as I joined these guys...
But my companions arent like that at all. Theyre different.
...I see. you really seem to trust them.
*nods* I wouldnt be traveling with them if I didnt! I trust them completely, and you can trust them, too. Dont worry. I mean, sure, Endir wears that spooky mask, and hes a mercenary... Hes pretty unfriendly, and you might find him cold...
And he has a snarky rude sense of humor... And he once wanted to launch me across a chasm in a catapult. And he thought I was a gremlin for the first couple weeks I traveled with him...
But deep down, hes a good person, I know he is. And Setsuna, the sacrifice, is a really good person, too.
Honestly, shes kind of too nice to a fault. And shes made some pretty bad decisions when trusting people. And those hair ornaments are just the worst... But shes really great other than that.
And Nidr is... old. But not the racist kind of old! Just the crotchety out of touch kind. And heck, the rest of them arent even human!
*glances at party* Huh...?
Aeterna is a magic clone and Dingus is the reformed agent of this dark entity were going to go fight in the Last Lands. Julienne is a princess who drank monster blood and was infected by its power. Dont worry though, shes better now!
...Is that right?
I see... Thank you. I feel much better now. All right... I guess my minds made up, then.
*turn and nod to one another*
Well, hello there... Finished your private chat? I never had you down as such a ladies man, Kir...
So old and bitter that you feel the need to tease an innocent, honest young man like me... Wait... youre not JEALOUS, are you?
*sweats* Wh-what? Of course I aint!
Super not into where any of this talk is going.
Anyway, it seems it is settled. It pains me to see the village lose such powerful new allies... But it is for the sake of the pilgrimage... it cannot be helped.
Technically, the pilgrimage has ended and this will just be fodder to throw to the final battle. Which we should be getting back to immediately...
Please make sure that no harm comes to them.
You dont need to worry about that! Itll be fine! Your little sister is at the Spritnite Pillar, right? Come on, lets go get her!
Yep! Theres nothing to worry about while Kir is on the case! Just one more trip back to the Spritnite Stone to wrap up this case and possibly gain some new allies! Even though were in post-game optional side quest territory and only characters with illustrated portraits ever joined the party. But...
If anything happens, make sure to protect Setsuna!
*nods* Understood. The sacrifices life should be our utmost priority.
Got it! Leave the rear guard to us!
*fist pumps* All right, lets go! If theres anything you dont understand, just feel free to ask!
Good grief... When did Kir get so enthusiastic?
Oh, leave him be... Hes just trying to make a good impression.
And if his enthusiasm gets us back on track with our mission quickly, more power to him...
Music: Deadly Gamble
Leaving us behind you wasnt a good idea... Youre wide open!
We were after the sacrifice all along!
*nods enthusiastically* We have cast no magic on you only out of respect to Tor.
I-Ill get you out of there. Dont worry!
No... I mean Im out 5000 G...
Ill take my collection once we are out of this predicament.
So thats how the princess new regime is gonna be, huh? Typical...
I dont care what your reason is! Hurry up and let them go! Theyre my companions! My friends!
*shakes head* No. You are being deceived. Humans will never accept us rare-bloods...
Doubly true of us, the rarer-bloods!
Thats not true! Setstuna... and Endir... They all accept me!
Kir, tell your anime puffball girlfriend Im gonna stuff and mount her gremlin head to a wall when I get out of this!
Dear me, the humans have got you right where they want you, havent they... The only reason they keep you around is because they can use you. If you were just a regular little boy, theyd get rid of you without thinking twice about it!
Man they've got this wrong...
*shakes head* N-no! Thats not true!
You dont know what humans are really like. Theyre not like us. They dont accept people who are different... Never. No matter what.
We shall take the sacrifice with us.
Welp. Kirs lust to get his dick wet in young anime crazy done got the pilgrimage pals in a right fix. Tune in next time when Kir attempts to diffuse the situation. But at what cost? And how many dead anime girls?
Part 4 - Chapter 2-2 (Village Third Visit to Cabin Defense w/Luis)
Part 5 - Chapter 2-3 (Bella Sisters Rumble to Entering the Castle)