Part 40: Let us partake of the Timewarp again.
Blagh. Warhammer Online. Poor time management. Burn the heretic. Etc.
Also, this update was really annoying to format. Well over 150 screenshots were pared down to just over forty for this. You'll see.
Update #39: Let us partake of the Timewarp again.
When last we left our heroes, as per normal, they were vaguely frustrated by the latest turn of events.
Well, this is just weird.
This had really better not be what I hope it isn't. Knowing our luck I'm bound for bitter, bitter disappointment.
Maybe the architects just put a bunch of similar rooms together!
Pip, I don't honestly think many architects were involved in the creation of a volcano.
Okay, so what's the worst case? It teleports us up here? Nancy can just dispel the whatever using his, uh...y'know.
Your conceptual grasp of the fine arts of magic astounds me.
I'm better than Pip, and he uses the damn stuff.
I can make pretty lights! DOOM lights!
The only lights Urggzob wants any to-do with are the ones he puts out. With his axe. By crushing them. With his axe.
I kind of think this conversation has strayed a bit.
Right. Shall we take a look around? Again?
Look, it's the flamers!
A saying about pots and kettles springs to mind.
Bah! Urggzob has definitely crushed these flaming mens! How DARE they de-crush!
Psh, people are highly combustible, and this is a volcano. I reckon some rascals just got too close to the magma.
Strange. That bridge was DEFINITELY wrecked last time we were around.
It wasn't wrecked!
You certainly didn't use enough rope. Not enough to fix it THAT well, at least.
Man, I still just don't get why there's a bridge even there. It's like having a ramp to get up a set of stairs.
Either way, we're not using it. Treacherous beast.
Lothar? I seem to recall him being not-so-alive last time.
Urggzob has crushed giants before, yes, but not this one. Not yet.
Maybe he, uh, was out of town. Lava town. Magma town? Burnville. What do we call this place?
I'm more curious how he fits himself in that teeny throne.
It's probably just for show.
I was gonna SAY. If he has some magic to fit in that thing you'd think he could at least squeeze his giant ass into some better pants.
...you know, nevermind. Let's just go.
This place is looking remarkably intact from yesterday.
Ahh, there's Ambassador what's-his-guy. Time to get to the bottom of this.
I think we're already at the bottom! If we go any lower we'll be under the magma.
I'm pretty sure that was figurative, Pip.
Hell damn. Damn damn damn.
What it is?
I think we're somehow in yesterday.
For the record Urggzob's crushings of yesterday still count. No crush once done can be undone.
Even with magic?
When Urggzob is finished with someone no magic will save their well-crushed bacon. The only and inevitable end of de-crushing is a furious, messy re-crushing.
Very interesting...I'll have to see a few more things while we're here, for sure. I want to figure this one out.
We go and see the jolly king, just for kicks.
Big ass. Teeny chair.
Can you ever go without thinking of someone's ass?
Sure, on weekends and holidays.
What day is it today, then?
It's, uh...well, we've...and, um, during the, uh...
That's what I thought.
We head over by way of the exit, or what we take to be the exit.
Wait a damn minute.
Who's really that melodramatic when they're killed? Seriously.
There's no marks on the big guy, either. How did he die?
Frozen spirit? That's just silly. He's made of fire! And rocks!
Ugh. Should we tell that one guy that what we knew would happen went and happened?
Will Urggzob get to squish big eyeball monster again?
I, uh, don't think...so? Any rate, let's just go over to the embassy again.
Well, saves us some effort, I suppose. Should we go tell the big King?
It appears he has found out on his own.
What cued you off?
Crushing a building, hm? Urggzob is intrigued and vaguely aroused by this idea.
Oh ick. Bad thoughts.
Wait, now where's he going?
So that's where the Efreeti came from. Wait...does this mean Thorasskus is still alive? Or is the back in time thing only for while we're here? Good heavens this is convoluted.
Urggzob has long maintained that the only form of time travel should be alcohol.
POISON? How the hells do you poison something with no blood? Or other organs?
Lava poison, silly.
I wonder if...let me go see something.
Promise if I'm ever held hostage somewhere that you won't be negotiating my release, because you're TERRIBLE at this.
I'll be far too busy throwing a party for your captors.
Wait, so are we back to the same spot we were at yesterday? And if so, will we run into ourselves?
Urggzob would not mind teaming up with another Urggzob, for two times the ten times the crushing. But the betrayal would be inevitable and messy, and then only one Urggzob would be left standing, even if it was the same Urggzob only twice, so really the same Urggzob, and...and Urggzob's head hurts now.
Honestly, let's leave before that ever happens.
A short scuffle at the exit hardly slows us down.
This didn't work last time, dude!
Well it can't work any LESS this time, then!
I...can't argue with that, I guess.
Update #39: Let us partake of the Timewarp again.
I sense a cruel running gag here.
Welcome to my bitter, spiteful existance.
Well, since ten minutes ago it was presumably tomorrow, that means in another few hours depending on how many times we go out this exit it'll be sometime last month?
Wait, is this like a fountain of youth? Only filled with fire instead of water, and not really shaped like a fountain at all?
Not so much. I don't think we or our possessions have gotten any younger; just the chamber here and all its regular residents. Besides, you're an elf. You've got hundreds if not thousands of years left anyhow, don't you?
Ooh yeah, good point.
We're just gonna use the boat, right? It's faster if we go west from here.
The gods hate us and everything we do. There is no other viable excuse.
Are you saying I have no room to start slinging the phrase "bumbling incompetence" around?
Not if you want your testicles intact.
Mmmh. Well, enjoy your long and tedious hike around the other direction, I'm going to hang out here with Urggzob.
Rocks try to crush Urggzob! Urggzob is invulnerable against irony, though!
Much as I hate to default to puns, that was a very warm reception.
Ow ow ow.
Let's just...go somewhere else for now.
Gosh, we're giving that skele-boatman some good business, aren't we?
We WOULD be if Napalm wasn't cheating him out of every dime every time.
It's called business savvy, and there's no need to be snippy just because you haven't got any.
So, we head to the cage where High Priestess what's-her-face is held.
Marty, you're also on the list of people who shouldn't talk when talking needs doing.
But...but...I showed her what for!
We're doing a lot of eavesdropping these days.
And yet, we know how everything goes already. That's somewhat comforting, if unnerving.
A play, a play! We have to go see!
Urggzob does not have a refined appreciation of the arts. Death is art enough for Urggzob.
So, we go see the burning mens' play.
As an aside, I'm soundly impressed that King Lothar can bend the bars of the cage and hurl the prisoner into the lava without even turning around.
Play was good! Urggzob has not slept so well in weeks!
Indeed, after the playhouses of Luskan this...leaves much to be desired.
Were there any metaphors? If so, they went right over my head.
Metaphors? No, it was just awful.
In fairness there could be a cultural divide we just don't appreciate.
I was WONDERING why there were no famous immolated playwrights. Hm..."Famous Immolated Playrights." That's a band name.
Oh, hey. Cage is broken, prisoner's dead. Should we ask someone about that?
We head straightaway to Lothar land to investigate.
Aaaand there. Our bad habits catch up to us.
Hah! Urggzob's bad habits will have to get in line, because he is busy crushing this one!
Napalm, look out! Fireball?
What's that now?
I...huh. So it is!
This is going to hurt.
I'm amazed I can still feel pain these days.
Should I duck? I should duck.
You should duck.
LITTLE FLAMES ARE FUNNY TO URGGZOB! YAAAAAAGH!
That's it? Wow, I guess I really got used to so much worse from Heronius.
If the giant is done playing tickles Urggzob will forcibly remove his parts now.
Urggzob does just that.
I'm just curious how you strike a fatal blow when all you can reach is his knees.
The crushings of Urggzob are powerful and mysterious.
In other words, you have no idea.
None. Urggzob mainly focuses on hitting hard and yelling incomprehensibly.
So we've committed regicide. Should we, uh, leave now?
Man, I'm worried what'll happen if we do...
Fuck what'll happen. Let's roll.
Update #39: Let us partake of the Timewarp again.
Skipping the running about business, we take the burn boat straight to the apparently ongoing trial.
This place, like so many others, makes progressively less sense the longer we spend here.
Yeah, but courtroom drama is always amusing.
How the devil did the two of you get off the boat? We didn't stop over there.
You know, that's a really good question. Hm. Urggie?
You two just go to the exit. We're gonna try this leaving thing again.
I suppose we've got little choice besides.
At least our visits are getting shorter!
Did any of the rest of you just get a clairvoyant vision of the High Priestess walking into the embassy?
What are you talking about?
I, um...let's go to the embassy.
You're a loon some days, you know that?
What did we discuss earlier?
But you don't tell me that until tomorrow!
Strange argument, that one.
Ladies talk. Urggzob shall crush.
Sadly(?), this fight is over too fast for me to get screenshots. Great boss, eh?
So, um, since we stopped the time-whatsit spell, we can really leave, right?
Verily. Chaps? Let's be off.
So wait, since it's several days before we went and killed Thorasskus and his ilk, do we have to go back and take care of them again?
Good heavens, no. Even if they were somehow revived by the temporal shift, the soon-to-erupt volcano will surely destroy them all.
Swear to the gods if we show up at the top entrance even one more time I'm going to find a way to kill everything that exists. Urggzob, you can help.
Instead, we get a cutscene. You can see that the hundreds of pictures have had their toll on my psyche by this point as I get needlessly artsy with the framing.
Thus, we're faced with this thing:
OUT OF URGGZOB'S WAY!
Is KILLING time!
This is perhaps the first encounter we've had where I'm in an actually convenient location.
Oh man another demon incoming. What is that? It looks like a fat elemental.
Eeew! Kill it with fire!
I'm on the case!
Who was that dick, and why did he bring us back to the Ice Temple?
In so many words, yeah.