The Let's Play Archive

Jack Orlando

by corn in the bible

Part 3


Music for this update:

Last time, Jack Orlando was knocked unconscious by Biff. Who was totally justified in doing so, by the way. But letting it happen was required, because it's how the game transitions from day to night.

Shit, all this over an old crankin' handle. I'll think of somethin' better next time.

All of the characters from the daytime are gone. If you were expecting that shoe-shining kid to matter in the narrative, well, too bad. Alice is also gone, and Biff will, sadly, not be appearing again.

So, as astute viewers have noticed, I forgot to grab Jack's wallet from his office.

It has five dollars in it, which we can have Jack give to anyone we want. Usually, though, they just thank him and then continue being the unhelpful assholes they were before, even though the money will be gone from our inventory afterwards. This has given rise to the idea that you can lose all your money and be unable to get any more, but that's not actually true -- Jack Orlando can always find more money, once he runs out. But more will only appear if you have already spent all the money you can get normally, which includes the bullshit wallet that nobody ever remembers to pick up, meaning a lot of people end up stuck. Bad game design.

The police chief gave Jack his car keys, meaning we can finally leave the neighborhood. This game has a world map, with several locations for Jack to drive to; however, several of them are actually connected normally as well meaning the map is actually lying about how big the game world is. In truth, we're already done with a fourth of the game's locations and Jack hasn't actually managed to investigate anything yet!

There is a woman here, selling roses. She appears to have dropped one on the ground!

Please note that, even if you give her all your money, it is impossible to actually buy roses from her. Stealing one is the only way.

You help me and I help you.
I don't need your help. I don't need any more problems, neither.
You are a really strange guy.
I know nothin'. I only clean up here 'n take care of the house.

Nobody knows anything. Around the corner, though, is this suspicious-looking guy.

How the hell d'you know my name?

I've come to appreciate the fact that Jack's voice actor puts a drunken slur on everything he says, no matter what it is.

Unluckily for you, some other people know your name too.
You tryin' to scare me, wise guy?
Careful, Orlando...
What the hell d'you mean by that?
You're scared enough now, Orlando. You're as good as dead.

This guy obviously knows something, for once. Maybe a gun will get him talking.

That didn't work. But there's another way:

Easy Orlando, what's it all about?

Guns are not intimidating, but a back-handed slap to the face is scary shit.

Good question asshole. Either you start talkin' or I'll give you your teeth on a plate.
Take it easy, my friend.
Yeah. You should make sure I keep takin' it easy... and don't excite me, otherwise I'll really get upset.
OK! I get it. What do you want to know?
Not an awful lot. Tell me where I can find the casino.

You may be wondering where we heard of a casino. Well, we didn't, but we're looking for one anyway I guess.

I've never heard of a casino.

OK, OK, take it easy.
I heard that the casino's behind the restaurant. That place across the street from Night'o'Granis.
You heard?
Believe me, I've never been. Honest! You need a special invite or something, just to get in there.
Where do I get an invitation?
I really don't know, Orlando. And now go to hell.

He has no more information to impart. Time to go ruin some more peoples' days.

Watch your tongue or you'll be lookin' for it soon!
Hey, whassamatter. You tryin' to scare me?

We pass by the Chinese laundry. There's a stall outside, but nobody manning it yet. I just wanted to point this out because it's one of the more bullshit things in this game, but we'll come back to why that is much later on. Right now, we're heading for Charlie's shop, which is where that cigar from the crime scene was purchased. Charlie is an old pal of Orlando's,

Whom do these eyes behold?
Nobody lives that long.
Your jokes were never very good, Jack.
Hard at work as always.
A man has to live somehow.
Pal, I need your help.
Out with it.
Terrible, that's why I'm here.
I can see for myself that something's wrong.
Let's talk straight. Who bought Davidoff cigars last at your place?
There was someone, tall, middle 30's, with an unusual walking cane.
Like always, you're irreplaceable. To tell the truth I don't have much money.
The shop wasn't so good today, but I can still manage 5 dollars. I hope that will help.
Thanks, Charles.

Now that we have picked up the five bucks from Jack's wallet and the five dollars from Charlie, the infinitely spawning money has been unlocked. From now on, if we run out, money will magically appear in front of the local hotel. So that's convenient.

We also steal a newspaper from the newspaper rack. Even though we already have one. They're not interchangeable and are used in different spots, even though they're the same goddamn thing.

We're done with Charlie for now. Next to the shop is the best character in the game, so let's go talk to her.

I'm a woman, that's enough.
You're a volcano, a hot volcano!
I love the smell of cheap aftershave and dumb talk.
You're really clever. Maybe you should be doin' somethin' else?
Are you my mother or somethin?
Your father, little one.
I'd rather be an orphan than have a father like you.