Part 9: Update 4 BonusUpdate 4b Bonus
Ask for...his name
Talk about...business prospects
Ask about...his job
I work for a bicycle brake manufacturer.
Ask about...local crime
Crime? In the capital of the Soviet Union?
The young man in the corner is described as, 'He seems a little too refined for a place like this.' Sounds intriguing, but he has nothing to say except for
Maybe you've been drinking too much, comrade. If you're looking for somebody who lives around here, you should try the apartments round the back.
Ask about...his job
You could say they keep you in a job!
You could be right. With everything being privatized, I'll need to start advertising.
That's democracy, isn't it?
If that's democracy, then bring back Brezhnev.
I wonder what his game is.
Don't ask me, friend.
He's better than his predecessors.
Maybe, but at least things stayed still with them.
So long as they don't fight or throw up on the bar!
Talk about...private business
Risky if you don't have contacts.
I'm here to negotiate with a man.
You selling or buying?
I'm selling. Beer.
Talk about...the weather
I work inside. I don't have weather.
Talk about...the soccer world cup
Maskim: Why not?
Should we organize a world baseball championship?
We can't stage it. Too many foreigners to survey.
Foreigners represent big business opportunities! Leisure, entertainment.
We Russians are condemned to poverty.
Exactly. The westerners will grow even fatter on our backs.
Lots of rich people started out poor.
Not if they're honest, friend. Believe me, I've seen it.
You don't get to see many, eh?
Where should I go?
I'm from Zagorsk.
Lively place, Zagorsk?
I'm working on it.
I'm not after a girl.
I prefer, uh, harder pleasures.
Well, whenever you want. I can provide for most tastes.
You have any ideas?
Come back tomorrow and we'll discuss it.
Let's try heading up the stairs.
Hey! That's a private staircase. You can't go up.
Let's try again.
Are you stupid or stupid? I told you those stairs are private!
Yuri the barman, aided by several clients, arrives and jumps on you. You are severely beaten every time you open your mouth, and even when you don't. Luckily, the militia soon arrives.
The next morning a contemptuous Vovlov informs you of your imminent transfer to a place called Nyrovo on Sakhalin island, where your incompetence will go unnoticed. For many years.
You get a similar ending if you try to go through the staff door three times.
What happens if you drink too much booze?
...compete fiasco. The many years you will now spend trudging through the snow along the Sino-Soviet border should give you ample opportunity to reflect upon your mediocrity. Get out.
If you turn on the light or wait too long in the bar's back room, you encounter Yuri.
If you attack him or try to run out the bar door...
You are lucky to get away with your life. After a night in a militia cell you are taken to department P headquarters. You'll have many years to reflect on last night's fiasco as you trudge through the snow somewhere along the Sino-Soviet border.
If you run out the street door...
Hopefully he's not too mad. Let's go back to the bar!
The barman and most of the clients attack you brutally! You wake up the next day in hospital, home for the coming weeks. Your mission was a fiasco. When you have recovered you will be sent to lighter duties at a labor camp near Irkutsk for a number of years.
What happens if we say the wrong thing to Romeo?
Ask about...a man called Hollywood
I'm Buyer 2.
I've been waiting for you. We'll go see Hollywood right now... Hey, Gleb, Oleg, he's here. Let's go!
Two thuggish twins come down the stairs.
What happens if we turn on the light in the club backroom?
No matter what option you pick...
No matter what you say...
You get the shit beaten out of you.
Several weeks later, following recovery and rest, you take up your new 5-year tour of duty in Siberia.
Yuri mentions the bar closes at 10:30. What if we attack him then?
You get 100 dollars and the key to the bar. Useful if you blew all your money on hookers and booze. Your superiors don't get upset at you over this act of cold-blooded murder.